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AIBU?

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Original poster

To change school for friendships

60 replies

Catherine468 · 02/03/2026 15:45

My daughter is in year 5, aged 9. She’s been in this class with these classmates for several years but doesn’t have a reliable friendship group. She’s the odd man out in a group of three, the other two often whispering to each other and telling her if and when and how she can play.
im wondering if it would be totally mad and unreadonable to consider moving her to another local school, primarily for reasons of friendship. Our school is average and the ones around are similar.
it feels risky and could go either way I guess, she could be the new kid in a class of established friendships who can’t break in, or she might find some better friends.
Aibu to consider it?

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 02/03/2026 16:13

Have you arranged play dates?

Original poster
Catherine468 · 02/03/2026 16:12

Glitterandmud · 02/03/2026 16:10

I know a few people who have done this (moving from our dcs school and to it). If your dd is unhappy it's worth exploring. Has her current school done anything to try and help?

Parents eve they always say everything fine.
The school did invite her to some specual lunchtime club three days a week where you can do crafts and thing but didn’t tell me about it, which I think might be related to friendships perhaps. But I don’t know as they haven’t said anything about it,

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 02/03/2026 16:12

Either you move her and she makes friends or she stays here and doesn’t. I was moved at age 8 and hated it and moved back to my old school so I’d say it’s not an ideal age to move a child.

Original poster
Catherine468 · 02/03/2026 16:11

I just feel that she has no ‘place’ in this class. She has some lovely friendships in clubs with girls she really gets along nicely with. It’s just sad that she doesn’t have this at school. If I could guarantee it for her I’d move her in a heartbeat. But she might like it less than we are really screwed.

OP posts:
Glitterandmud · 02/03/2026 16:10

I know a few people who have done this (moving from our dcs school and to it). If your dd is unhappy it's worth exploring. Has her current school done anything to try and help?

Original poster
Catherine468 · 02/03/2026 16:08

She’s not miserable, but she is struggling a bit with it. She says most days she doesn’t want to go to school, but she comes home happy enough, although will tell me that the girls weren’t playing nicely. She always has to ask to play, ask if she can do x y and z, they go and have a private chat to decide. All that bitchy stuff.

OP posts:
Beamur · 02/03/2026 16:04

Is she unhappy?
These friendships will all change once at High School anyway. I'd concentrate on fostering friends elsewhere - clubs etc, from areas likely to be feeders for High School. Make transferable friendships.

RandomUsernameHere · 02/03/2026 16:01

I wouldn’t move in year 5 unless she was really unhappy. The remaining time in primary will fly by.

Original poster
Catherine468 · 02/03/2026 15:50

It’s a small group, there are only so many girls in the class and she doesn’t seem to gel with anyone else.

OP posts:
Dave57 · 02/03/2026 15:47

why would you not encourage friendships within her current school and have you spoken to her teacher.
Seems drastic so are there other issues

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