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Original poster

Manager I manage refusing to manage someone

62 replies

MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 13:42

I line-manage a manager who has raised serious allegations—including refusal to follow instructions—about an employee (A). An investigation concluded with A receiving a written warning rather than dismissal. The manager disagrees with the outcome and emailed me and my manager, stating they don’t want to manage A and believe they will re-offend (they had previously talked to me about this, prior to the hearing) . I'm unhappy that:

  1. they bypassed me by copying in my manager, and
  2. I suspect my manager may suggest I take over managing A.

How would you approach this situation?

OP posts:
Specialityblueberries · 27/02/2026 14:29

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lessglittermoremud · 27/02/2026 14:28

If the threshold was not met for Gross Misconduct and the person was given a written warning I’m not sure the manager can refuse to manage them?
The manager needs to continue to manage them in an unbiased way and report any ‘reoffending’ to you as their line manager and then it would obviously be escalated.
As a manager they can’t pick and choose who they manage, ultimately the person was found ‘not guilty’ of gross misconduct so the process is finished for the complaint.
All you can do is put into writing how you can support them fulfil there role as manager, because that’s your duty as their line manger.

Original poster
MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:26

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Thanks for your unsolicited views.

OP posts:
Original poster
MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:26

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 27/02/2026 14:22

I think a lot of commenters here haven’t worked at senior management level in a corporate environment. Some of the advice is bonkers.

OP, I think this is an HR issue. I’d get formal advice from them before taking any further action.

Thanks for your response, I think you're right. I agree solving this problem by 'just' kicking it to another manager is insane, they're clearly not managers ( at least I hope they're not for their organisations sake).

OP posts:
Specialityblueberries · 27/02/2026 14:24

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Original poster
MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:23

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 27/02/2026 14:18

You understand the manager deems this more serious than you give credit for so skipped you and went higher?
Think about that.

Yep - they've deemed this, doesn't make them right!

OP posts:
Original poster
MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:22

To be clear to the issues were not interpersonal to that manager - they were not involved in any way. The manager did make separate (less serious) statements about the staff member ignoring management instructions. In fact HR were concerned their manager should have written evidence of prior warnings of these allegations, and when the more serious complaint came in they then raised this to HR.

OP posts:
Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 27/02/2026 14:22

I think a lot of commenters here haven’t worked at senior management level in a corporate environment. Some of the advice is bonkers.

OP, I think this is an HR issue. I’d get formal advice from them before taking any further action.

Alpacajigsaw · 27/02/2026 14:20

Tell them to get on with their fucking job or they’ll be next in line for a disciplinary

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 27/02/2026 14:18

You understand the manager deems this more serious than you give credit for so skipped you and went higher?
Think about that.

Original poster
MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:18

Thisseasonsdiamante · 27/02/2026 14:16

You have a desired outcome. Put together a couple of points why that outcome should be the optimum outcome and that is it. If you are told that you have to manage the person after that well according to your own rule then you just have to suck it up.

It doesn't work that way.... There's a management structure for a reason. I can't quite believe some of the odd comments....

OP posts:
Specialityblueberries · 27/02/2026 14:17

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Original poster
MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:16

Specialityblueberries · 27/02/2026 14:13

But the manager in question believes the person who reported. And indeed evidence was found hence they’ve been given a written warning.

Show quote history

No it sure what your point is... I believe the evidence - in fact A admitted and didn't dispute the evidence. Nonetheless, the investigating manager and HR deemed it didn't meet the threshold for gross misconduct, case closed. That's why there is a process to be followed.

OP posts:
Thisseasonsdiamante · 27/02/2026 14:16

You have a desired outcome. Put together a couple of points why that outcome should be the optimum outcome and that is it. If you are told that you have to manage the person after that well according to your own rule then you just have to suck it up.

Specialityblueberries · 27/02/2026 14:15

Coconutter24 · 27/02/2026 14:14

If you read it correctly the manager didn’t make the allegations or complaints

Show quote history

Yes but the manager believed the allegations are true. How on earth can a productive relationship and management take place in this situation.

I think it will be passed over to HR, and the OP will end up managing the person in question

Coconutter24 · 27/02/2026 14:14

Specialityblueberries · 27/02/2026 14:12

It would appear @MumofCandR does think that! Can’t quite believe it myself tbh

Show quote history

If you read it correctly the manager didn’t make the allegations or complaints

Original poster
MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:13

ClaredeBear · 27/02/2026 14:11

I agree they can’t pick and choose, unless of course the issue was personal with that particular manager. I would find some “managing difficult people” training for them to undertake and tell the manager that you will be there to support them. Make sure they know they will play an important role in the future management of “the situation”, so it’s important they follow process.

Thanks for this advise, it's along the lines of what I was thinking. The issue is that if ever anyone is subject to a disciplinary and their manager isn't happy with the outcome do you just then move the staff member? The manager isn't happy with some people in their team, I could see this setting a precedent...

OP posts:
Specialityblueberries · 27/02/2026 14:13

MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:11

The manager did not make a serious allegation.... Someone else made a serious allegation to them, I stated that up thread ( they were not part of, nor were they witness to the allegation). The allegation came to them and that was it.

But the manager in question believes the person who reported. And indeed evidence was found hence they’ve been given a written warning.

Coconutter24 · 27/02/2026 14:13

MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:11

The manager did not make a serious allegation.... Someone else made a serious allegation to them, I stated that up thread ( they were not part of, nor were they witness to the allegation). The allegation came to them and that was it.

Then you need to manage the manager and tell them they need to continue managing A

Specialityblueberries · 27/02/2026 14:12

SapphireOpal · 27/02/2026 14:11

Of course it's not appropriate for a manager who has made a serious allegation against someone they manage to continue to be their manager. I'm surprised the employee isn't also kicking up a stink about it - would you want to be managed by someone who had done that?!

You can't seriously expect this managerial relationship to continue so you need to work something out. They've probably gone over your head because they know you're being so passive about just letting it continue, when really something needs to be done.

It would appear @MumofCandR does think that! Can’t quite believe it myself tbh

SapphireOpal · 27/02/2026 14:12

MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:11

The manager did not make a serious allegation.... Someone else made a serious allegation to them, I stated that up thread ( they were not part of, nor were they witness to the allegation). The allegation came to them and that was it.

Oh sorry I missed this. Ignore my post then!

Specialityblueberries · 27/02/2026 14:11

MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:08

It wouldn't work me managing them due to how we work ( it wouldn't make sense in the structure).

Well there we go. Say that.

SapphireOpal · 27/02/2026 14:11

Of course it's not appropriate for a manager who has made a serious allegation against someone they manage to continue to be their manager. I'm surprised the employee isn't also kicking up a stink about it - would you want to be managed by someone who had done that?!

You can't seriously expect this managerial relationship to continue so you need to work something out. They've probably gone over your head because they know you're being so passive about just letting it continue, when really something needs to be done.

Original poster
MumofCandR · 27/02/2026 14:11

The manager did not make a serious allegation.... Someone else made a serious allegation to them, I stated that up thread ( they were not part of, nor were they witness to the allegation). The allegation came to them and that was it.

OP posts:
ClaredeBear · 27/02/2026 14:11

I agree they can’t pick and choose, unless of course the issue was personal with that particular manager. I would find some “managing difficult people” training for them to undertake and tell the manager that you will be there to support them. Make sure they know they will play an important role in the future management of “the situation”, so it’s important they follow process.