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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To rarely cook from scratch?

114 replies

Timberss · 26/02/2026 22:38

I have two children. I work full time, so does DH. We don’t earn a lot so can’t afford to hire help, so everything’s on me. DH does lots round the house but works away for weeks at a time.

I drive the kids around to their after school activities, try to keep up with the washing, cleaning etc, but to cook as well as cleaning up on top of all the other jobs that need done, I am finding impossible.

I used to enjoy learning to cook. My parents didn’t cook much other than spaghetti bolognese, but when DC were younger, i would try some different recipes. I’m just too exhausted now and too run ragged!

Can anyone relate, or am I just a bad mum!

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Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 17:20

Straightjacketsandroses · 01/06/2026 17:05

See this facetious reply does sort of fly in the face of all the research around at the moment about UPF and the lasting damage they can do. Obviously everything in moderation, including moderation, and being obsessed with cooking from scratch at all times is arguable pretty problematic, but I don’t see why anyone would eat industrially processed ingredients when you could quite easily recreate this at home: smoked paprika, salt, paprika, cumin, turmeric, oregano, rosemary, garlic, lemon, white pepper. Pasta sauce is similar - why eat Dolmio when you can buy sieved tomatoes and add seasoning and Parmesan. It’s so easy!

People like to defend their own choices and think denigrating other peoples somehow elevates their own.

I’m happy with my choices and remain concerned about processed foods. My DMum didn’t feed us E numbers and was whole food and brown bread in the face of 80/90’s catering, I’m happy that real food and the effort to cook it is part of my busy life. Others don’t care, but that’s their look out.

I don’t care if I right because the only downside of my choice is nice food. I’m not convinced that the only downside of the opposite choice is the same.

Straightjacketsandroses · 01/06/2026 17:05

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 01/06/2026 13:12

Of course. Each crystal of natural cane sugar is hand-crafted by smiling artisanal sugar weavers and never see the inside of a factory. And your jars of dried ground paprika are picked fresh from the bush every day.

I trust you only use wild yeast for your bread-making and not the stuff that comes from industrial vats.

See this facetious reply does sort of fly in the face of all the research around at the moment about UPF and the lasting damage they can do. Obviously everything in moderation, including moderation, and being obsessed with cooking from scratch at all times is arguable pretty problematic, but I don’t see why anyone would eat industrially processed ingredients when you could quite easily recreate this at home: smoked paprika, salt, paprika, cumin, turmeric, oregano, rosemary, garlic, lemon, white pepper. Pasta sauce is similar - why eat Dolmio when you can buy sieved tomatoes and add seasoning and Parmesan. It’s so easy!

Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 13:30

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 01/06/2026 13:12

Of course. Each crystal of natural cane sugar is hand-crafted by smiling artisanal sugar weavers and never see the inside of a factory. And your jars of dried ground paprika are picked fresh from the bush every day.

I trust you only use wild yeast for your bread-making and not the stuff that comes from industrial vats.

I do as sourdough starter is exactly that.

I appreciate what you are trying to illustrate, but there are levels of processing and I'm happy with my line. Not everyone is ill informed, they may just not agree with you.

My point about creme fraiche though, would you agree that's an ingredient? I happily use that and yoghurt. I could make them, I choose not to. Where is your line as you seem to be critical of others, but offering little on your own choices

minipie · 01/06/2026 13:29

Just as many PP say - it depends what you are cooking/serving instead.

Endless diet of Frozen Crispy Additives won’t do anyone any favours long run

But there are quick and easy no cook or low cook meals that don’t have UPF. GoUPFfree is a useful insta account listing supermarket ready meals/sauces etc that have no or very low UPF. For example the Crosta & Mollica pizza, various soups and stuffed pastas. There’s also Stocked which I’ve never tried but looks like home batch cooking in frozen portions. Great idea.

TheChosenTwo · 01/06/2026 13:20

I was raised on freezer to oven food. I don’t think it did me any good. very few fresh veg or fruits made their way to me. my mum hated cooking and worked hard as a single mum; cooking was where she drew the line so she could relax of an evening.
I have gone the opposite way and every evening meal that we are home for is prepared as much from ingredients as possible (we do buy pasta mostly but Dh will sometimes make it as we keep hens and often have a glut of eggs, we do buy things like biscuits and crisps sometimes, we are not totally non upf), and sit down together to eat a home cooked meal.
I must confess, dh does most of the cooking and during that time I’ll either be exercising or hanging out with the kids (who are now older). It’s really important to us that prioritising nutrition is just seen as ‘normal’ and that vegetables aren’t just for Sundays! All the dc are quite into food and cooking and bringing new recipes to be tried out. It’s messy, it can be expensive but I think that building these habits early on will set them up well for the future.

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 01/06/2026 13:12

Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 13:00

That's correct I wouldn't.

Why not sprinkle in sugar natural cane sugar?
It is not a naturally occurring spice - read what extract is. Paprika is natural, extract isn't.
Xantham gum isn't something I want to have from the vast machine of industrial edible substances.
I know what they are, and no they are not as horrible as some things, agreed.

However, I draw my line at 'stuff I find in my kitchen', you decide where your line is. I'm happy to make cajun chicken with dried spices. Dead easy, takes minutes. I don't want the extras. How nasty they are isn't my concern, I don't want industrial shite on my plate.

Of course. Each crystal of natural cane sugar is hand-crafted by smiling artisanal sugar weavers and never see the inside of a factory. And your jars of dried ground paprika are picked fresh from the bush every day.

I trust you only use wild yeast for your bread-making and not the stuff that comes from industrial vats.

Anjoola · 01/06/2026 13:02

Not all prepared food is ultra processed and unhealthy. Pasta sauces are often just bottled up from fresh with no weird stuff added.

Today I ate for lunch - a slice of freshly baked bread, tinned mackeral , half a can of mixed beans, lettuce, lemon juice, pepper. Delicious and ready in minutes.

Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 13:00

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 01/06/2026 12:53

So you'd not want to eat what are, in order, a naturally-occurring sugar, a naturally-occurring spice, and a naturally-occurring carbohydrate.

Do you think these things are produced in the large hadron collider or something?

Edited

That's correct I wouldn't.

Why not sprinkle in sugar natural cane sugar?
It is not a naturally occurring spice - read what extract is. Paprika is natural, extract isn't.
Xantham gum isn't something I want to have from the vast machine of industrial edible substances.
I know what they are, and no they are not as horrible as some things, agreed.

However, I draw my line at 'stuff I find in my kitchen', you decide where your line is. I'm happy to make cajun chicken with dried spices. Dead easy, takes minutes. I don't want the extras. How nasty they are isn't my concern, I don't want industrial shite on my plate.

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 01/06/2026 12:53

Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 12:41

Chicken Breast Fillet (94%), Rapeseed Oil, Demerara Sugar, Spices, Dried Glucose Syrup, Salt, Herbs, Tomato Powder, Dried Bell Peppers, Garlic Powder, Cumin Seed, Dried Red Peppers, Onion Powder, Dried Tomato, Cayenne Pepper, Chilli Flakes, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Pimento, Colour (Paprika Extract), Thickener (Xanthan Gum), Lime Oil, Lemon Oil

So I'd not want to eat: Dried Glucose Syrup, Paprika Extract, and Xanthan Gum

However, if you are suggesting they are 'not that bad', then yes I agree I've certainly read worse stuff. Perhaps I'm a bit judgy (to the food)

So you'd not want to eat what are, in order, a naturally-occurring sugar, a naturally-occurring spice, and a naturally-occurring carbohydrate.

Do you think these things are produced in the large hadron collider or something?

Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 12:45

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 27/02/2026 22:13

It didn't escape my attention that you've avoided my question - do you make your own creme fraiche and passata?

Creme fraiche is an ingredient, surely? It's not a UPF, it's processed milk but so is cheese.

Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 12:41

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 01/06/2026 09:04

What artificial crap do you think they've been covered in?

Chicken Breast Fillet (94%), Rapeseed Oil, Demerara Sugar, Spices, Dried Glucose Syrup, Salt, Herbs, Tomato Powder, Dried Bell Peppers, Garlic Powder, Cumin Seed, Dried Red Peppers, Onion Powder, Dried Tomato, Cayenne Pepper, Chilli Flakes, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Pimento, Colour (Paprika Extract), Thickener (Xanthan Gum), Lime Oil, Lemon Oil

So I'd not want to eat: Dried Glucose Syrup, Paprika Extract, and Xanthan Gum

However, if you are suggesting they are 'not that bad', then yes I agree I've certainly read worse stuff. Perhaps I'm a bit judgy (to the food)

knitnerd90 · 01/06/2026 09:24

I cook from scratch as much as I can for multiple reasons, but with small children, a FT job, and a husband regularly working away something has got to give. You’re snatching bits of time anywhere you can. It’s all well and good to say batch cook at the weekend, and certainly if you can get at least one thing done that’s helpful, but there’s a hundred demands on that time.

I will say that there’s no shame in easy meals or “semi homemade” (eg buying pasta sauce, but making some kind of protein). It doesn’t have to be oven chips and fish fingers. An omelet and toast and salad is homemade.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/06/2026 09:12

I don’t think YANBU to do quick and easy things. I would avoid too many microwave ready-type meals because they’re so full of salt and additives (usually).

I try to cook “from scratch” most days but it can include very easy things like stir fries or a pasta with a very simple sauce. Some days if I’m very rushed I do resort to a supermarket pizza but I usually only get them if there’s a slightly better quality one on special offer.

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 01/06/2026 09:04

Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 08:32

Interesting, I see them as the same if it has been covered in artificial crap. I’m not afraid of a pre-made (Cookshop) meal for very rare occasions, but as a norm I’d never buy prepared.

What artificial crap do you think they've been covered in?

MotherOfCrocodiles · 01/06/2026 08:58

My kids have school dinners and then in the evening is often v basic like porridge, pasta with cheese and tuna
etc.

I think it’s ok. You only have so much time and I think taking them to activities, supporting reading/maths and being present are the important bits.

Controversial but I like that we don’t have a proper sit down dinner every day. My parents were dogmatic about it and I remember it feeling quite suffocating as an older child and teen- the whole evening had to be planned around sitting down to dinner and nobody could do anything spontaneous

Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 08:32

Gloriia · 01/06/2026 08:22

It's not a microwave meal full of additives is it?

Interesting, I see them as the same if it has been covered in artificial crap. I’m not afraid of a pre-made (Cookshop) meal for very rare occasions, but as a norm I’d never buy prepared.

Gloriia · 01/06/2026 08:22

Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 07:59

Trays of potatoes and Cajun chicken. Are you suggesting that’s cooking from scratch?

It's not a microwave meal full of additives is it?

Hidefromthecow · 01/06/2026 07:59

Fends · 26/02/2026 22:47

Depends what you’re eating really. Cooking from scratch can be as quick as the alternatives.

You can buy everything prepped for convenience, Mediterranean veg, baby potatoes and those trays of Cajun chicken or whatever are literally just bung in the oven.

Also nothing wrong with Egg, chips and beans or jacket potatoes and that’s no effort.

Trays of potatoes and Cajun chicken. Are you suggesting that’s cooking from scratch?

Straightjacketsandroses · 01/06/2026 07:54

Lbw89 · 31/05/2026 21:50

I totally agree with you. I was brought up on a diet of freezer food, microwave meals and jar sauces plus a lot of sugar and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I didn’t resent my parents for not instilling sound nutritional habits in me as a child (in addition to no emphasis whatsoever on physical activity). My dad was morbidly obese and mum had weirdly competitive undereating habits. I was a latchkey kid left to sort out my own dinner a lot of the time with the food that was available in the house. I entered adulthood not knowing how to cook, eating way too much sugar and processed crap, and spent most of my adult life up until the last couple of years struggling with my weight and feeling uncomfortable in my body. I’m mid thirties now, finally have a sense of balance, prioritise cooking from scratch and have developed a positive relationship with exercise. Yes, my parents worked full time, but I have to say being on the receiving end of not prioritising those things as I child is something I really feel sad about.

I’m assuming you’re a similar age to me - I was a 90s kid (born mid 1980s) and honestly, same. My mum did cook (my dad did not) but relied a lot on jarred sauces (I had to teach myself to make bolognese from scratch for example) and packet mixes (who knew chilli is so easy to make from just a few spices!). As a teenager I ate an awful lot of microwave and oven goods, and veg was a couple of extras on the plate rather than an integral part of the dish. I think cooking skills back then were poor - I imagine as a rebellion against their own parents maybe and the rise of convenience food, plus diet culture (remember the Special K adverts?!). I was a sporty kid and my parents fed me well, but the quality of cooking was nowhere near what I feed my own children.

Lbw89 · 31/05/2026 21:50

Straightjacketsandroses · 27/02/2026 20:43

This isn’t true really though is it. I hate the whole ‘fed is best’ argument. Cooking from scratch doesn’t have to be complicated - someone up thread pointed out that baked potato with cheese is technically ‘from scratch’. I honestly think the damage we must do to our health eating convenience food most days will be enormous.

scrambled egg and toast; baked potatoes, cheese & salad; spaghetti with passata and Parmesan; chicken, wraps, veg & spices… There are loads more! It doesn’t have to be all home-baked bread and refined sugar free!

Honestly eating convenience food most nights is just laziness.

I totally agree with you. I was brought up on a diet of freezer food, microwave meals and jar sauces plus a lot of sugar and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I didn’t resent my parents for not instilling sound nutritional habits in me as a child (in addition to no emphasis whatsoever on physical activity). My dad was morbidly obese and mum had weirdly competitive undereating habits. I was a latchkey kid left to sort out my own dinner a lot of the time with the food that was available in the house. I entered adulthood not knowing how to cook, eating way too much sugar and processed crap, and spent most of my adult life up until the last couple of years struggling with my weight and feeling uncomfortable in my body. I’m mid thirties now, finally have a sense of balance, prioritise cooking from scratch and have developed a positive relationship with exercise. Yes, my parents worked full time, but I have to say being on the receiving end of not prioritising those things as I child is something I really feel sad about.

Elsvieta · 01/03/2026 18:19

Try cooking like your grandparents - meat, potatoes, veg. The former gets put in the oven; the others get boiled. Prep time is 5 min max and you can do other things while they cook.

Straightjacketsandroses · 01/03/2026 18:03

faerylights · 28/02/2026 17:46

Then what was the purpose of it other than to make OP feel like shit?

She asked a question and I answered. Just because the answer isn’t sugar coated doesn’t mean it isn’t a valid opinion, which was asked for. Self gratification would have involved me posting about how fantastic I am, which I did not

changeme4this · 01/03/2026 17:27

How many after school activities are you driving the children around to? Can you car pool ?

I had a limit as to how many activities the kids could do. Mainly because everyone gets too tired and ratty and as you say, then you don’t have time to do things back home. if they wanted to try something else, then they had to wait until the end of the current season or drop something. Having said that, they were pretty good bunch and generally happy to be home most afternoons from school..

Soontobesingles · 28/02/2026 18:52

Depends on what you are eating, and if there is fresh produce available - fruit, lean meats, veg etc. I try to give my child as much fresh produce as possible but it’s not always possible and sometimes it’s frozen pizza, carrots, chopped up tomatoes and grapes!

simplesimoneatspie · 28/02/2026 18:43

Stop feeling guilty OP - you and your DH work and I’m sure you’re doing the best for your kids. Things may change ongoing and you have more opportunity to cook differently than you do now.

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