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Original poster

13-Month Old Shows No Attachment to Parents - Is This Normal?

59 replies

Lilly212 · 26/02/2026 21:26

Hello everyone,
Our child is 13 months old, and we’ve noticed something that concerns us. When his father comes home from work, sometimes he gets excited to see him, but most of the time he just passes by without paying much attention. In general, he doesn’t cry for either his mother or father. He doesn’t seem to show attachment to us.
When it comes to strangers, it depends — sometimes he may cry if an unfamiliar person picks him up, but more often he doesn’t.
Overall, he has good eye contact, responds to his name, actively seeks our attention, and plays with us. He constantly shows us his toys, hands them to us, points to things he wants, etc. However, he simply doesn’t show any clear attachment toward us.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Is this normal at this age, or should we be concerned?
Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

OP posts:
SillyBilly1993 · 26/02/2026 22:37

Have you shown him what attachment looks like OP? Do you make a big fuss when his father walks in the door, does his father make a fuss of him?

Does he seek comfort from the two of you when he is upset?

I think it’s something to keep an eye on but it’s too soon to draw conclusions. My son is almost two years old and he’s still learning how to express affection. I find that if I repeatedly do the same things eg I look excited and smile and say hello when I see him, then it takes time but eventually he starts to mirror it back. Expressing affection is something that is learnt rather than innate for children.

stickydough · 26/02/2026 22:32

I understand why you’d be concerned. What does he do if he gets hurt? How does he behave when upset?

JanBlues2026 · 26/02/2026 22:26

My two weren’t clingy babies and very independent- could play for a long time without needing attention and didn’t really come for cuddles unless hurt or poorly. They are older now and pretty ‘normal’ well adjusted kids, we do get some cuddles off them now and then!

onyxtulip · 26/02/2026 22:23

I think, as with all things in babies, there is a lot of variation

Our daughter is 17mths now and is definitely upset to see me or my husband leave and excited on our return, but this wasn't the case until about 2mths ago (15mths) and I was similarly concerned

RonnieCharter · 26/02/2026 21:55

I’m not sure it’s typical behaviour. My DS is 11 months and can’t properly crawl but will pull himself to the front door quick as a rat up a drain pipe when he hears my partner is home and will point and coo to be lifted up.

JLou08 · 26/02/2026 21:52

Do you ever leave them? My DS wasn't bothered about his dad coming and going but when I went back to work and he started nursery he would cry when I left him.

HelloDarknessmyoldfrenemy · 26/02/2026 21:50

I would be concerned, sorry. Babies this age are normally super attached to their parents and very wary of strangers.

Not sure there is anything you can do about it though. My DS had many signs that pointed towards autism and they didn’t refer until he was 2 and a half as babies do vary so much! So I’d just watch and wait and keep it mind.

sunshine244 · 26/02/2026 21:43

My siblings child was the same and diagnosed autistic age 3. Although mine was the opposite and also diagnosed autistic at an older age so... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Abd80 · 26/02/2026 21:41

I would say no not normal. At that age my three were pressed up against me all night long snuggling and breastfeeding. They couldn’t sleep without me. Yes they loved daddy but I was clearly number one. I did a lot of babywearing also which helps with bonding, they nap on your chest and are always touching you. I would discuss your concerns with GP & Health visitor (if you’re in the UK )