To ask for reasons NOT to get a dog?

Dogs are terrible for the environment. They have a big carbon footprint.

Knowing what inknow now i would NEVER agree to this.

Reasons

• he cannot care for a dog due to his hours so wants you to raise it. You dont want to.
• A newborn and a puppy is likely going be horrendous for you
• daytrips become impossible unless you have totally flexible relatives 5 mins away.
• holidays may require expensive kennels (add £400 to the holiday) and you may well nit want to leave them in a kennel. I couldnt face it so it cost me £80 per day for a house sitter.
• the WORK.... they need non negotiable work

• cleaning the bowls and eating area
• feeding
• 2 x per day walking
• training
• playtime

• the MONEY. The cost groomer is £50-75 4/5 x a year, our insurance was over £600 per year by the end. Then there is food and vets bill (worming tablets etc) it all adds up. The daycare and dog sitting and walkers cost £££.
• damage your property.
• the dog may not do well with kids ours didn't so was very stressed which was hard.
• The attention drain. You finally have both kids down its 9pm and tour dof there whining and nuzzling you and you just. Want. to. Be. Left. Alone.
• the additional cleaning. The hairs. The smell.

I love dogs having one with one child was fine and manageable. When ds arrived.... it was totally different and I really resented the dog and how little dh did.
He had permanent excuses for doing fuck all and it was one area that was a real bone of contention.nh

You forgot the main reason - having to pick up
shit on a daily basis.

The money.
Grooming..you're looking £40 at least every 8 weeks if you need it clipped etc

Food. Small dogs less cost but if you've a big dog and want to feed good quality food and not crap you could be paying a lot. My dog costs me about £25 a month..he's 8kg. A big dog, say German shepherd at 40kg is going to be over £100. This is for good food and raw.

Care. If you're out all day or need a walker. I get an exceptional rate for daycare but you're looking £25 a day. Walking £15 and hour. Oh and if you dont have a well behaved dog (see effort below) you can kiss goodbye to just being able to get them in anywhere.

Holidays. £25 per 24 hours

Insurance

You cant get away with not having alternatives loke daycare or a walker if you cant do it yourselves. Under exercised dog = naughty dog.

Exhaustion. Puppies are incredibly tiring to begin with. I was lucky as got my dog at 16 weeks (although not recommended) so he'd go 11pm to 5am when I got him but younger pups you'll be up in the night.

Effort. A well behaved dog needs training, training, training. I dont mean fancy courses....although thats another expense but time and consistency. Everyone says to me what a good dog mine is. Yes, because I put in the work.

I dont have children so the cost doesn't even factor for me and ive the time.

I am a huge dog lover and we have 2 at the moment.

But I absolutely wouldn’t advise people get a dog unless they are really clued about how much they impact your life.

Some cons-
The puppy days are brutal. Puppy blues is a real thing and almost everyone gets days where they feel like they have ruined their lives by getting this bundle of cute fluff. Toilet training, not being able to leave them, chewing, biting…

You can never just have a spontaneous full day out (unless dog going with you). You will feel guilty when you go out and leave them and spend your day saying “we must get back to the dog”

Walking them twice a day, every day. Rain or shine. Sickness or in health.

Vet bills are getting higher and higher.

When they have a tummy bug and it’s everywhere. On your nice shaggy rug, in the carpet… everywhere.

Needing holiday care.

Cost of grooming if you have a dog who needs to be clipped or kept tidy.

Another reason (poo related again 😂) my mum has 2 young dogs, after two years of owning them, one has randomly decided to start shitting on the dining table.

Until your DH can demonstrate that he does an equal share of parenting and domestic chores it is a complete no as this will just be more work for you at a time when you least need it.

Puppies are as much work as toddlers. They need time, energy, consistency in training. You should not be engaging with animal faeces while pregnant. The dog will need at least 2 walks a day.

It is possible btw, but only with both of you on board and with your DH doing the lion's share. We got a puppy just before I found out I was pregnant with DD. He's a lovely dog, very calm and fantastic with kids. But that took a lot of work and training. DH banned me from picking up poo when pregnant and was diligent about doing so himself multiple times a day to ensure the garden was safe for DS (he works from home). We walked the dog all together as a family every evening as part of the "wind down for bed" routine and he came with us on most family outings (lots of dog friendly beaches nearby). DH did the early morning walk. MIL volunteered to have the dog for a couple of months around the birth as I was having a c-section. If I'd been left to do all of this myself it would have been impossible.

You know those toddler years when you can't go anywhere without being followed and you're constantly wiping, cleaning and entertaining and listening to the little voice whining for you at your feet? Add in a couple of decent walks a day and you've got that for the next 16 years.
Yes, I'm a dog owner.😁

One reason - our dog ate poo yesterday on his walk then threw up the poo in our house. You don’t need any other reason

Being a dog owner I absolutely love owning a dog it’s so rewarding and they give you such unconditional love BUT in your situation I would say No. You are being sensible in how you have weighed up the pitfalls in owning one in your situation. Stand by your decision otherwise you may end up rehoming the dog.

The best reason not to get a dog is you don't want one. If you get it you'll resent it. They limit your life, cost a fortune and are a huge commitment for over a decade. Dogs deserve loving homes where they are wanted and it's much better to never have one than have one and dislike it or rehome it. Stick to your guns.

Oh and my last reason, when they become old and unwell, pet insurance is a load of crap. I was horrified to realise when my old dog, who I loved dearly, was dying that whether ot not she lived might come down to a financial decision and how much money I was willing to divert away from family funds. It was honestly heart breaking and made me despise our insurance company and the random arbitrary limits they set for different treatments. It made me think in future I’d just put the cost of the insurance to one side each month rather than paying them money that I wouldn’t fully get back. I know people who’ve spent upwards of £10k trying to keep their dog alive. That also leads into the fact that knowing when to let them go is also an awful decision. I used to judge people like the last who spent £10k as selfish because the greatest kindness you can give your dog is to recognise when they’ve suffered enough- that is until you’re in the situation and you realise dogs are born people pleasers. They’ll still find joy in life and be happy to see you right until the very end.

No need for justification, just say no.

Don't fall for the 'I will do everything for the puppy' . He won't.

I had a dog that I loved dearly with a baby...a nightmare. Having to take the baby out in all weathers to walk the dog. Wake the baby up to walk the dog. Dash back from playgroup to walk the dog.

When the second child came along it was even worse trying to drag two with me.

Leave the dog on the back burner till the kids are old enough to help or be left while you walk it.

Your DH is an idiot. Tiny children and a dog don't really go together.

He needs to start parenting for a few years before you can even consider bringing a dog into the mix. They are a lot of hard work.

Oh I forgot that puppies are scratchy, bitey fuckers. I think we had ours less than two weeks before I needed a tetanus booster.

The stress and complication it would place on your lives is unthinkable just now. Not to mention being completely unfair to the poor dog. Please remain resolute OP. Your husband is very deluded to think it would be right to get one.

You not wanting a dog is reason enough on its own not to have one. You don't have to justify yourself. Your partner wanting to get one does not trump you not wanting one, irrespective of the objective pros and cons- especially if he would be leaving it to you to actually look after it!

I suggest your husband look into dog walking or sitting if he wants time with dogs because owning one is a lot of effort and definitely a bad idea if you don't really feel motivated.
It wouldn't be fair on any dog if you barely want it so he'd be selfish to insist that the family get a dog.

Oh and yeah to a previous poster’s comment about toilet training. Our old dog used to try and eat the kids poo if I didn’t get there fast enough.

And dog poo in the garden, however on top of it you think you are, your kid will always manage to stand in a bit of poo when they’re playing.

I love my dog, no children at home, we are older, have family who take her at a moment’s notice….but I don’t think I’d have another one . She’s a tie.

Puppies are a fucking nightmare - way harder than babies. They’re like a baby that chews everything and shits and pisses everywhere because it doesn’t wear a nappy.

Our first dog was pre-kids so the puppy phase without any kids to also deal with was annoying but fine. Our second dog was while we had a baby too and I found it exceptionally hard to deal with a puppy and a baby (plus older kids, a job, an elderly parent). I have much less of a relationship with new dog than I did with previous dog because I wasn’t able to invest the time in at the start.

It’s also a pain having dog toys and baby toys around because kids like to spread their toys out in the floor to play but puppies like to chew things and can’t differentiate between their own toys and not their toys.

If you are on mat leave you’ll be the one dealing with the puppy for most of the day. You’ll probably be the one walking it because you’re around.

On the plus side though watching the relationship grow between a baby/toddler and a puppy/dog is truly a beautiful thing to watch. Once you start weaning, babies are an endless source of food to dogs (unless you actively put the dog in a different room while you feed the baby) and the food source in return is met, in my experience, with absolute love and devotion from the dog.

reasons not to get a dog-
You don’t want a dog and due to your dhs hours you would be mostly responsible for the dog
Training a dog takes time and is hard
You have 2 young children you won’t have the time to give to a dog
Dogs need walks is it really feasible for you to take a dog out in all weathers with two children
its not fair on the dog
poo in the garden with toddlers
dog hair everywhere with baby crawling
dogs are expensive
dogs tie you to your house especially at first it wouldn’t be fair on your children
puppies nip and can hurt
most rescues won’t give a dog to a family with young kids for good reason it’s not fair on either animal.

I’d agree to discuss it again in 5 years when both kids are at school. But be clear you are not saying you will get one in 5 years just that you are willing to reopen the conversation.

Mine has got super reactive and it's running my life ATM but I'm stuck with the fucker because I love him with my entire soul.

Toilet training with a toddler running around with dog wee and poo will be a nightmare

So many great reasons already!
We got our puppy before kids and he was super clingy. Trying to crate train him was a nightmare and a disaster and we had months of broken sleep with the puppy crying every time he woke up (essentially like having a newborn). He ended up in bed with us.
I cannot stress how horrible this time was and I definitely had puppy blues. I couldn’t imagine also having a toddler and a new baby at the same time!
The only way we resolved it was to get another dog 🙃 this did help a lot, but we wouldn’t leave the dogs at home on their own as they honestly couldn’t cope for more than an hour. We had to rehome them to family members once we had kids because not being able to leave the house with children isn’t practical.
The cost of doggy daycare was astronomical. Having to pay that and also childcare would not work financially.
I could go on and on for reasons not to get a dog right now but I think you have enough of your own and everyone else’s great points too!