To ask for reasons NOT to get a dog?

Haven’t read replies so apologies for any repeat points. I’m a dog owner so not anti dog at all but!

Money. Mine costs me around £300 a month which includes a dog walker.

Extra cleaning and washing. All dogs smell

Dog crap on your lawn. Even with regular pick ups there are wet slimes ones that don’t pick up easily which is not ideal with babies and toddlers using the garden.

You will need to supervise dog/child interaction at all times which means having to isolate the dog when you can’t.

Toddlers and dogs are both unpredictable!

Training the dog is a huge time commitment but if you don’t train it well life is difficult.

Sone dogs like to chew especially puppies so you will need to keep toys and stuff out the way. Not easy with little ones to look after.

Regular exercise. You should probably set aside a couple of hours a day for walks. That means in the winter taking small children out in the rain and cold regardless everyday if your DH isn’t there to do it.

When you get back from a rain soaked walk you’ll need to rinse/dry off the dog whilst managing wet toddler clothes and pushchairs and yourself.

Restrictions on your activities. In the early puppy days you won’t be able to go out for very long and an adult dog shouldn’t be left for more than 4 hours a days.

Daycare/boarding costs for holidays, days out etc you are looking at £30 a day (ish) Dig boarders round my way book up fast I have to plan and book nearly a year in advance for my main holiday. It’s DS’s birthday soon and we want to go to London for the day. Despite messaging doggy day care two months ago they have no spaces which mean someone has to stay home and miss out.

Pet insurance, even with a full policy there a t&c’s which will likely find you quite out of pocket in the event of a claim.

Most importantly though your DH is being incredibly selfish. He wants a dog that he knows he won’t have to really take responsibility for and the real work will fall to you whilst you have a baby and toddler. That’s disgraceful.

We have a large dog (34kg) but waited until the kids were older (11 & 13). They crazed for a dog. Promised they would help etc. Now it’s left to me to walk him, feed him and entertain him. I love him so much but it is a massive tie and a lot of work! Walking in the sunshine is lovely. In the rain, not so much fun. Especially when I have to shower him down after because he’s got so muddy that a bucket of water won’t cut it. The worst thing is he has epilepsy. I spend £80 a month on medication, on top of food, insurance and grooming costs. He then has regular blood tests at £100+ a time. He seizures in the middle of the night so I’m usually up for a hour, cleaning wee off the carpet as he loses bladder control. It’s heartbreaking to watch him have them and recently it’s been a weekly occurrence. Of course, not all dogs have health issues but you have to be prepared to deal with something like this, should it arise.

We have a dog, we got her when oldest was 13. It's been good for my DH mental health, and the kids love her, but I'm glad we didn't rush into it and I wasn't juggling babies/ toddlers and puppy.

I love dogs and ours is fantastic but you both have to fully want one because they are hard work. Especially for me, what to do when you go away. We have exceljebt doggy daycare that he loves but you still worry about them. Don't do it if you're not totally up for it.

Yes, agree with this! As someone who was in that situation but did agree to the dog. The dog (unless you're really crazy about it) is nothing but a massive chore. A chore which you can't put off, can't decide to do tomorrow, can't ignore for a few hours, etc. Any free little minute you get to relax while your children are sleeping or whatever - well now you have a dog to train/walk/feed/clean up after in that time.

I purchased my dog before starting a family, she genuinely was my first baby. The training years were tough and by the time my eldest was born she was trained but it was still bloody tough walking her and arranging her not to be alone for too long just the mental load with a baby. I then split with my ex and it was so difficult managing work/childcare and a toddler my sister who was studying had to dog share with me for a couple of years so she had her part the week and me the other (weekend). Honestly I am so grateful to my sister. I then went on to have a second and took her back for maternity it was easier as my partner was supportive and would walk the dog and help. She (the dog) was a superstar with the children as she was older and I loved her so much (she had to be PTS at 11 for illness). I personally wouldn’t get a dog at this stage of your life it’s too much. When your youngest is 6/7 is the perfect age.

@Chipper28 what you’ve written rings so true.

We’ve also lost 3 very nice and expensive rugs!

Because your kids grow and get lives and you get freedom then the dog gets left all day to bark ( like my bloody neighbour)

Vet bills are astronomical and so is decent insurance.

It falls on one person to look after it despite everyone’s promises before you get it.

Dogs get old and when they get old they shit and vomit in the house.

I never understand why people get a puppy with a newborn. Crazy!

No no no!

They take up so much time!!

Having a toddler and a baby is the most difficult and stressful thing you will ever do. Adding a dog into the equation is utterly crazy.

Also I’ve just had to fork out £1200 in a vet bill.

The costs of food and vets is astronomical currently !

I had a list but yours trumps it - you're having a baby! Your DP is a selfish idiot.

Reason #649 - random vet bills plonked into your finances

I love my dog very much and wouldn't ever re-home her but I do wish in hindsight we hadn't got her simply due to the extra work she creates when I'm already burnt out. And she's an extremely chill, well-behaved, easy dog. She sheds a lot so I have to spend a lot of time cleaning, I never feel comfortable letting DS play in the garden because of the traces of dog poo that will inevitably be on the grass (although that's true of any park I guess), she costs a lot in food, vaccinations, insurance, daycare and the dog boarder when we go on holiday (she cannot travel more than 10 minutes in the car, becomes extremely anxious shut down and vomits - done this for years and nothing has worked to reduce the stress for her so we've had to accept we can't take her with us), her recall isn't great so walking her can be a bit stressful, I'm she's fine with DS at the moment but I would never leave them together in a room which is a pain if I just want to nip into the other room to grab something, she has a sensitive stomach and occasionally poops inside if she's managed to eat something on a walk we haven't seen (we've thrown out three rugs now and have accepted we just can't have a rug!), can't go on days out for the whole day unless we sort out someone to look after her as she can't come with us and daycare isn't open at the weekend. Honestly there's a lot to consider and my dog is a very good, easy dog by all accounts. As I said, I love her and wouldn't ever re-home her but when I'm cleaning up indoor poop or putting the hoover on for the 3rd time that day while trying to wrangle a stroppy toddler, I do wish I'd given dog ownership more thought when knew I was going to have a baby!

I have a dog and young children and it's mostly fine because he's old and placid and takes himself upstairs to sleep all day. Having a young, bouncy, needy dog though would be an absolute nightmare.

Even though our dog is fine, having the responsibility along with young kids is very frustrating. We can't go to the zoo or the beach for the day, we always have to be back after a few hours. Friends of the kids are scared of him so we rarely invite them over.

Re the garden, yes someone will have to pick up the poo every day, but don't underestimate how much they can wreck a garden generally. Their wee kills grass leaving you with yellow dead patches. Our lawn becomes a muddy bog in winter that needs reseeding every year because he scrabbles around it a few times a day. It really ruins the usability for us.

We love our dog but we've had him over 10 years and I'm looking forward to being free to be honest.

Not going away for a few nights without arranging for someone to look after the dog. Even a day trip is over, unless you know someone can come by to walk the dog.

Even if you want to take your kids to activities you'll need to walk the dog beforehand and when you come back. Your dog will get old and that will limit you further, as you can't put your old dog in kennels. What about vet bills and food- it is very expensive. Plus worming. When they are puppies they ruin everything by chewing on shoes and sofas. My dog vomits about twice a week and you'll have that to clean up. I can never recommend a dog to anyone, unless you live on a farm and have unlimited free time.

I have an 8 year-old, a 6 month-old and the third one is on the way and my DP is desperate for a dog. He works away during the week so everything is left to me.
We have two cats. I love the cats. But when I’m having a stressful day, I could throw those god damn cats out the window.
A dog would be 100 times worse. Needy, following you around everywhere, daily walks, in and out for wees, begging for food, ah god fuck that.

Imagine being at home on your own with your two children, one is a newborn, and your new puppy has shat on the floor, pissed in the baby’s car seat and chewed the wheels on the pram.
You would hate it. And then you’d hate your husband.

The question I would ask my husband if he were desperate for a dog whilst I was pregnant with child number 2 would be why he desperately needs to complicate my life further.

When you’re in the toddler/baby/pregnacy stage of life, it’s a genuinely bad idea to get a dog. You’re busy, tired, you don’t have spare time for walks and training, you have to supervise the dog with the children or keep them separate for child and dogs safety, possible allergies that you don’t know yet etc, it’s not fair on the children, dog or owners. The chances of the dog being ignored, miserable, under stimulated, under walked are all really high. Some people end up rehoming the dog and all because they chose to get one at a time when life was already stressful.

I love dogs, we have them, but we waited til our youngest was about 10 and then we could all enjoy the dogs and give them the time they deserve for training, stimulation, walks and attention. The children were also old enough to understand when to leave the dogs alone, not irritate them like babies and toddlers can etc. Our dogs make us less stressed because we have an easy life with older kids, we work from home and have time on our hands, the dogs are rarely left as someone is usually around, the total opposite of your household,

In your case, the fact it’s your husband pushing for one when he isn’t going to be around much is appalling. Does he want you to be super stressed, never be able to relax? It’s so selfish towards you, the children and the poor dog! Your husband sounds completely stupid and irresponsible.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing is a good idea. Borrow a friend’s dog when they go on holiday- most dog owners like me are desperate for dog care because boarding is so expensive. Tell DH he is responsible for everything when he’s there and getting meals ready for when he’s not. Reassess his desire to get a dog at the end of it.
Alternatively just tell him to do one. A dog is a huge commitment and you already have two of those.

I love dogs, and I would love one. A lovely little female German Shepherd. But I cannot take that responsibility. Walking it, picking up it's mess. Why do that to yourself, life is hard enough. Cats all the way

The time to get a dog is when the youngest child is 10 and your partner has time to train a puppy and walk it 2 or 3 times a day.

Of course you aren't being unreasonable not to want to get a dog.

You have articulated really well why getting one would not be fair on you, the children, or the dog itself.

Plus , as other pp have mentioned, the safety aspect of dogs with children and the expense.

If your H has any brain power at all surely he can see how much extra work this will cause you? Surely he cares about your welfare? Surely he must care about the safety of his own children?

Absolutely not! Getting a dog should be a joint decision but I’d argue you actually have the most say as you’d be the one looking after it.

We always said we wanted a dog until we looked after a friend’s dog for 2 weeks in October. We’d had him in the summer and it was great fun taking the dog to loads of places. By October, it was raining constantly and dark so definitely not fun going for walks in that. The places we wanted to go were indoors where we couldn’t take him with us so we couldn’t go. Just really debilitating.

On top of that, they stink! Friends who have dogs have a house, car, clothes, tent (we go camping), etc. that all stink of dog! They can’t smell it but we certainly can. I don’t want my house to stink and everyone else just constantly be thinking of that.

Then add on the insane expense of a dog. Just no!

I loved my dog and if I could have HER back, I would, but not sure I want another one because:

Uncertainty around expense. If you have a dog that will eat commercial dog food, then you can budget. But ours had many allergies and when she was having a flare up and could only eat a certain one, then I was looking at £25 - £30 a week on food for her. Then you have insurance on top which started off at £40 a month then was finally £200 a month as she aged.

They are a tie. You can't plan a day out until you have got dog care sorted. Spontaneity goes out the window.

Depending on the breed, they will need anywhere between 1 and 5 walks a day.

I couldn't hoover, sweep or mop without putting her into a different room or out into the garden as it was a massive game to her. It was funny to start with, but became a nuisance in the end.

Garden with toddlers - who is going to poo-pick each morning so the toddlers can play out?

OP - if your DH wants a dog and you don't, he needs to take responsibility for it's day-to-day care, and booking and paying for dog walkers. It is not fair if you get lumbered with the walking (and training if it's a pup).

My friend did not want a dog and her husband and son said they would do everything. Which they did for the first six months. For the remaining 11 and a half years she was the one having to walk the dog 4 or 5 times a day and arranging her day around it's care. Do not be this mug!

You’ll end up doing everything. Tell him to get fucked.

I have a dog, and love her to bits, and wouldn't be without her.

In your situation, I would say a hard no to one. New dogs and babies/toddlers do not mix well - you would have to be constantly vigilant about their interactions just when you have the most on your plate.

Pets, like children, need to be a 'two yeses' decision. Unless both of you are 100% committed, it should be a no. And the cheek of your DH to be pushing for it when you would be the one doing all the work!