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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to have ditched my family on holiday walk

256 replies

Mounjaroday · 19/02/2026 16:55

On holiday and we’d just started our annual coastal walk. We have to navigate over a very squelchy muddy bit, one at a time. DH goes first, then strides off ahead at pace. As usual. Then the kids leap over, and run off to keep up with him. I’m suddenly left trailing behind at the back yet again, and it’s absolutely maddening.

“Wait up” was met with a rather cross “well keep up then” nonsense from DH. He doesn’t wait for me and they keep going - DH striding away, and the kids trotting along - and they don’t even bother looking where I am. They are easily 20m in front at this point.

So this time, I stopped, turned around and ditched the whole lot of them. Went for a mooch around the lovely gift and antique shops in the local town. Then grabbed a coffee and read some of my book. 2 hours all by myself. It was absolutely fabulous.

Was I unreasonable? They’re all salty about how I’d “left them”.

OP posts:
Phoenixfire1988 · 20/02/2026 00:17

Flamingojune · 19/02/2026 16:57

Surely they would have stopped eventually, it is a bit petulant to abandon them

Are you actually being serious right now ?

5foot5 · 20/02/2026 00:11

What an arsehole this man is!

So he strides off at an uncompromising pace without any regard for his family. His children have to run to keep up. His wife, who has paused to check the children get over the tricky bit Ok, unlike him, is simply instructed to keep up.

Good on her for leaving him to it

What a knob.

novalia89 · 20/02/2026 00:04

Have you seen the video of that lad slipping in the mud when his family are on a walk? haha. You could have been the same!

becausetrampslikeus · 19/02/2026 23:44

Actually it can be difficult to walk unusually slow

it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t
sometimes I find it easier to stop every now and then rather then walk real slow

because it’s harder to walk faster than natural than it is walk slower than natural so the person with the easiest adaptations ( walking slower ) should do so unless they think to highly of themselves

Ferrissia3 · 19/02/2026 23:43

Your family doesn't know how to hike properly - the slowest member of the group is supposed to set the pace.

Tell your husband he's ignorant.

HappyValentinesDogtanian · 19/02/2026 23:34

Giraffemug30 · 19/02/2026 23:30

It isn't a big effort to walk at the speed of someone slower than you though?

My Mum is disabled and it takes not one jot of effort to walk at her pace. It's wild that people pretend they can't walk a bit slower to keep the rest of their family company and ensure they don't get left behind.

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It’s quite revealing of personality, for sure.

Imanautumn · 19/02/2026 23:32

Flamingojune · 19/02/2026 16:57

Surely they would have stopped eventually, it is a bit petulant to abandon them

Bullshit she’s meant to run along behind them like some kind of abandoned puppy?? They clearly don’t care if she’s there or not good for her enjoying a nice afternoon.

Giraffemug30 · 19/02/2026 23:30

sadanddistressed · 19/02/2026 17:17

When I was a teenager and did DofE, we were taught that a group out walking must walk at the speed of the slowest person.
You must keep your group together and not lose anyone.

It is a big effort for the faster ones to stick to the speed of the slower ones, but it is good walking discipline.

So if he thinks he is an experienced walker or a 'good' walker, he really should go bakc to basics!

It isn't a big effort to walk at the speed of someone slower than you though?

My Mum is disabled and it takes not one jot of effort to walk at her pace. It's wild that people pretend they can't walk a bit slower to keep the rest of their family company and ensure they don't get left behind.

becausetrampslikeus · 19/02/2026 23:16

Flamingojune · 19/02/2026 22:46

What constitutes unsuitable footwear?

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Um let me guess / something with less grip and probably less ankle support that make very muddy ground treacherous- fashion trainers rather than walking shoes or boots

HappyValentinesDogtanian · 19/02/2026 23:12

TunnocksOrDeath · 19/02/2026 21:59

"Annual" coastal walk? How come they didn't notice you'd gone before you were out of earshot? Is this walk something you actually enjoy doing together? It really doesn't sound like it. I'd say you're all BVU for putting each other through a 'family' activity that you don't enjoy doing as a family, but your DH is worse than the rest.

What’s with all of the speech marks around ‘annual’ and ‘family?’ if you were trying to add an extra level of being patronising, you were reaching the bar without the additional punctuation effort.

Flamingojune · 19/02/2026 22:46

category12 · 19/02/2026 22:14

How many times does she have to ask to meet your approval?

She'd already given up her walking boots to one of the kids so was hampered and in unsuitable footwear, she asked them to wait, got rudely told to keep up instead of him slowing down or helping her over the difficult bit. I don't think trailing after someone inconsiderate like an obedient dog is a great example for kids either.

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What constitutes unsuitable footwear?

Prosecco85 · 19/02/2026 22:37

Good for you, hope you enjoyed some time to yourself. Hopefully this will make them all think about their behaviour towards you.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 19/02/2026 22:33

You should always go first. The slowest sets the pace...

MillyTheale · 19/02/2026 22:15

I find walking at less than my natural pace unbearable (and I’m far faster than DH), but I make very sure only to go on substantial walks with someone I can walk comfortably with.

category12 · 19/02/2026 22:14

LeafyMcLeafFace · 19/02/2026 21:57

I saw that, she asked once, he said keep up, she left.

Neither are acting like they actually want to be in a family walk, and neither are modeling great communication to the kids.

How many times does she have to ask to meet your approval?

She'd already given up her walking boots to one of the kids so was hampered and in unsuitable footwear, she asked them to wait, got rudely told to keep up instead of him slowing down or helping her over the difficult bit. I don't think trailing after someone inconsiderate like an obedient dog is a great example for kids either.

1Messycoo · 19/02/2026 22:07

Well done you! Maybe do more ‘you’ time at least once a month. Also it’s your holiday and you should get to do want you want too !

TunnocksOrDeath · 19/02/2026 21:59

"Annual" coastal walk? How come they didn't notice you'd gone before you were out of earshot? Is this walk something you actually enjoy doing together? It really doesn't sound like it. I'd say you're all BVU for putting each other through a 'family' activity that you don't enjoy doing as a family, but your DH is worse than the rest.

LeafyMcLeafFace · 19/02/2026 21:57

I saw that, she asked once, he said keep up, she left.

Neither are acting like they actually want to be in a family walk, and neither are modeling great communication to the kids.

Babyijustdontgetit · 19/02/2026 21:46

HappyValentinesDogtanian · 19/02/2026 21:14

Oh, that’s good. You seem to have made a nonsensical comment about OP’s age based on a word choice and then randomly laughed afterward.

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Sorry I made myself laugh at the use of the word crowing! Just imagine my granny saying it!

category12 · 19/02/2026 21:34

LeafyMcLeafFace · 19/02/2026 21:28

It’s annoying that he went off ahead through the muddy bit and he shouldn’t have but if I’ve understood correctly you thought you’d be more similarly paced on the rest of the walk.

So rather than wait till then, or telling your husband and kids to stand still and wait for you, on your annual family walk, you’ve sodded off and left them all to it. Seems a bit churlish to me.

She did ask them to wait for her, but they didn't.

Flamingojune · 19/02/2026 21:31

Its not a great message for the kids from either parent really

LeafyMcLeafFace · 19/02/2026 21:28

It’s annoying that he went off ahead through the muddy bit and he shouldn’t have but if I’ve understood correctly you thought you’d be more similarly paced on the rest of the walk.

So rather than wait till then, or telling your husband and kids to stand still and wait for you, on your annual family walk, you’ve sodded off and left them all to it. Seems a bit churlish to me.

likeafishneedsabike · 19/02/2026 21:20

This happens to me. They all SHOT up Arthur’s Seat and I was lagging behind. I see it as on me though for not being as fit as them. It doesn’t occur to me that they should slow down just because I’m slower and less fit. I just feel embarrassed and vow to exercise more.

HappyValentinesDogtanian · 19/02/2026 21:14

Babyijustdontgetit · 19/02/2026 21:11

No!

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Oh, that’s good. You seem to have made a nonsensical comment about OP’s age based on a word choice and then randomly laughed afterward.

Babyijustdontgetit · 19/02/2026 21:11

HappyValentinesDogtanian · 19/02/2026 21:10

Are you feeling confused?

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No!