AIBU to have ditched my family on holiday walk

Er, no, I didn’t. He left OP behind, and when OP left in protest, he was annoyed at her for being left behind.

I think you have the sexes the wrong way round.

It was OP who was upset at being left behind and so she then went and left DH.

But that’s contradictory.

How is it not ok for DH to not walk with OP but it’s fine for OP to not walk with DH?

DH had walked on faster because of the muddy puddle.
OP completely turned around and went a different way.

If the DH had done what OP had done, no one would have been in support of him.

And if she had a good time then great, but it seems silly that she even went on the walk if it’s not her thing.

Your DH is inconsiderate and should have waited till everyone was over the muddy bit before continuing walking. First rule of hiking in a group - stay together and go at the pace of the slowest person.

I say good on you. If you were sure DH had the kids under watch so they were safe, it seems a fair response from you.

I like hiking and, if they all ran ahead, I'd probably just have decided to continue the hike on my own. Bliss. My own pace, enjoying nature without having to watch out for anyone else, hiking on my own. They can wait for me at the other end.

Agreed. Funny how the DH is happy leaving OP behind but doesn’t want to be left behind himself.

Activity should be kept to slowest person yet tell that to the kids if they had to wait around to, wouldn't be long before they got grumpy and irritable. I walk faster than my dh I will never lose sight but I would be irritated if I had to keep waiting around as we aren't talking about a sauntering walk here

She didn't miss out, she had a nice time on her own, having coffee and reading.

Where's the fun in ending up walking on your own on what's supposed to be a family walk, while everyone else steams ahead?

Well done, OP.

I’d make it clear from the off in future that if people decide to go off by themselves then you will leave and do your own thing.

This is silly.

If you don’t like going on the walks then don’t go.

If you do like walking, then go at your own pace.

Why walk back to the car instead of just doing the walk?
I don’t get that at all and you ended up missing out.

I can imagine if DH had done this then the replies would be very different.

Yeah. I agree with this.

Reading what you went through I thought. Did your DH go to Gordonstone or somewhere like that and had brutal cross countries that you had to finish despite a broken ankle. or are they competitive sports types or something?
I was once on a group walk ( it was actually quite high altitude but I didn't realise at the time because it was UK. ) and I had to keep stopping to use inhaler which I was surprised about and could hear comments that I was unfit etc (ignorant rather than insensitive, but annoying just the same)

Had to see asthma nurse when I got home who was furious on my behalf. It was an eye opener. One of my DC actually needed oxygen on a high altitude hike.. and its amazing how people just cant comprehend that its not about fitness. But also there is an element of self praise and unfair competitiveness at work, I think.

So I think you absolutely did the right thing. Why keep trailing behind em.. I hope it opened their eyes to their crap behaviour! Quite right too. Whatever happened to "no man ( or woman) left behind."

HNRTFT but I did the same Skiing years ago. Absolutely hated it and husband carried on . Chucked my Skiis into the ground and got a Ski lift back to hotel! Husband had to go back up to find my Skiis ! Have never been Skiing again!

I think you just established a very healthy boundary. Perhaps it’s one that’s been a long time coming. No one should be made to feel like they’re being left behind on a family walk. Now they know you won’t accept that kind of behaviour anymore. More power to you and maybe look to establish other boundaries where they might be disrespecting you.

Your DH sounds like a total arsehole! No thought or consideration that you might have fallen……..just striding out and being a twat! What a wonderful example for the kids!

Nope you did the right thing they’re all rude , especially your husband

Good for you turning back .. it doesn't sound enjoyable for you striding off ahead of you I couldn't be arsed and I love a walk .. walking having a little chat no racing to keep up.
Glad you enjoyed a good read of your book in peace x

Sounds like the best solution for everyone. Clearly a big range of fitness levels in the family.

I actually think it's a great example to them. She's showing them that she won't put up with being treated shoddily.

Good on you. Your husband was being very inconsiderate.

I'd have ditched them as well, although I'd have used the time to do some exit planning. There's nothing D about your H's attitude and I'd be washing my hands of him. Life is too short to be married to Competitive Dad from The Fast Show.

OMG, you CF!

I don't walk fast and I'm done trying to keep up with other people who move faster. They can either walk at my speed or we can separate and I'll meet them at a destination. This feels quite peri-menopausal rage-y to me but is where I am.

You weren't on an enjoyable for you walk, you found an alternative activity. It would only be unreasonable to leave like you did if there were small children and you were on a proper hike somewhere remote / hilly where you need 2-3 adults/ older children for safety.

I think it's great you enjoyed yourself.. It's rude to... Ist.. leave you straggeling behind on your own. 2nd... they didn't bother to let you catch up.. good for you.. going and having a good time.. they could learn to be a bit more thoughtful. You are not at fault.. bad example set by your dh as well.

Sorry but that is more fool you. You chose to be the martyr in those situations. My DH would do that - especially the food thing, and I hated it. We could never go out for a family meal without the self sacrifice order - it was so irritating.

I think your husband was being a total jerk. Why wasn't he taking care of you? I have experience of this behaviour and know how hurtful it is. Reminds me of a saying "do not walk in front of me, I may not follow, just walk beside me and be my friend" or something like that.

Nahhh, they abandoned her first! I’d have done the same I think - I’ve definitely thought about it in the past.