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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to have ditched my family on holiday walk

256 replies

Mounjaroday · 19/02/2026 16:55

On holiday and we’d just started our annual coastal walk. We have to navigate over a very squelchy muddy bit, one at a time. DH goes first, then strides off ahead at pace. As usual. Then the kids leap over, and run off to keep up with him. I’m suddenly left trailing behind at the back yet again, and it’s absolutely maddening.

“Wait up” was met with a rather cross “well keep up then” nonsense from DH. He doesn’t wait for me and they keep going - DH striding away, and the kids trotting along - and they don’t even bother looking where I am. They are easily 20m in front at this point.

So this time, I stopped, turned around and ditched the whole lot of them. Went for a mooch around the lovely gift and antique shops in the local town. Then grabbed a coffee and read some of my book. 2 hours all by myself. It was absolutely fabulous.

Was I unreasonable? They’re all salty about how I’d “left them”.

OP posts:
Abd80 · 19/02/2026 18:00

You didn’t ditch them-they ditched you !

MissCooCooMcgoo · 19/02/2026 17:59

My DH would never do this to me. He would have 1 helped me over the mud and 2 waited for me on the other side if needed.

Your "D" H is a prick @Mounjaroday and I find it hard to believe this is the only situation in which he treats you like this.

singthing · 19/02/2026 17:51

The fact that this seems to be an annual test of endurance and it went "as usual" suggest that maybe it is time to stop flogging a dead horse?

I think you were a bit U for not at least telling them you were going, but it sounds like you went a did something you enjoyed more anyway (see first sentence)

SoSadSoSadSoSad · 19/02/2026 17:50

I am a fast walker. I don’t like walking with dawdlers or slow walkers. I think you did the right thing.

Tallestone · 19/02/2026 17:49

I've thought about doing this just wandering off. Dp just strides ahead.with Dd and leaves me behind. I wonder how long it would take him to notice I was gone. I might do it next time he does it.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 19/02/2026 17:49

Sounds like you were both a bit unreasonable, him
for not wanting to wait for you, and you for stomping off like a teenager. The kids weren’t unreasonable at least

ginasevern · 19/02/2026 17:46

NotDarkGothicMama · 19/02/2026 16:58

YANBU. Did you let them know where you were though, or were they worried? DH is nearly a foot taller than me and often forgets that I have to trot to keep up with him. This is often a problem in airports, where I'm left behind with my bag and the crap the kids hand me. Very annoying.

So you're left struggling with the bag, the crap and the kids eh? How awful that his extra height makes him so terribly "forgetful".

Original poster
Mounjaroday · 19/02/2026 17:42

Aluna · 19/02/2026 17:35

I guess I don’t quite understand why your kids can keep up with DH but not you. Is your username a clue are you a bit overweight?

I can see it from both sides. It’s annoying having to walk slowly but it’s annoying not being able to keep up with someone marching ahead.

It was just that the DH went over the muddy bit first, then the kids, then me at the back. DH strode off very quickly, then the kids ran to catch up. I’d actually lent my walking shoes to one of the kids, so I was a bit slower / more careful over the slippy mud. By the time I was clear, they had all buggered off. The DH got cross that I asked them to wait up.

Overweight or not, I don’t see why I should run after my DH!

OP posts:
Thatescalatedquickly2 · 19/02/2026 17:41

Mounjaroday · 19/02/2026 17:26

Oh no, I haven’t. Imagine my experience is not very unusual. My dad was always the same too. Striding off. So irritating!!

Show quote history

I think you are really minimising this behaviour because your dad is similarly selfish.

This is not ok and massively rude- could you imagine if you behaved like this with a friend? You just wouldn’t!!

this is why women accept such appalling behaviour from men - we are conditioned to accept it.

threescoops · 19/02/2026 17:36

My husband always speeds around museums or galleries, so annoying when I turn to say something about what I'm looking at and he's gone rooms ahead, might as well have gone alone

Aluna · 19/02/2026 17:35

I guess I don’t quite understand why your kids can keep up with DH but not you. Is your username a clue are you a bit overweight?

I can see it from both sides. It’s annoying having to walk slowly but it’s annoying not being able to keep up with someone marching ahead.

Firefly100 · 19/02/2026 17:27

Good for you!

Original poster
Mounjaroday · 19/02/2026 17:26

thistimelastweek · 19/02/2026 17:23

OP, have you posted about this before?
If I'm thinking of the right person, your husband has form for this and family walks are misery for you.
Anyway, good on you.

Oh no, I haven’t. Imagine my experience is not very unusual. My dad was always the same too. Striding off. So irritating!!

OP posts:
notawittyname1954 · 19/02/2026 17:25

Good for you. No you were not unreasonable at all and apart from that it's your holiday too. Let them stride out in the mud and you enjoy your book and coffee. I don't blame you. You can be equally salty they didn't bother waiting for you

Original poster
Mounjaroday · 19/02/2026 17:24

Flamingojune · 19/02/2026 17:19

The kids didnt need help

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Correct. The kids didn’t need help. It was just a bit awkward getting over the muddy bit and they’re a lot quicker than me!

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 19/02/2026 17:23

OP, have you posted about this before?
If I'm thinking of the right person, your husband has form for this and family walks are misery for you.
Anyway, good on you.

Thatescalatedquickly2 · 19/02/2026 17:22

Men like this are narcissistic arseholes. It’s the little things like this that give them away.

he has just demonstrated how you and your needs are not important to him.

is he like this with other things? This does not sound like a man who is wonderful in every other way

becausetrampslikeus · 19/02/2026 17:21

Good grief - I’d be getting frantic phone calls after a few minutes if I wasn’t in sight

and if I turned back , he would turn back too because you stick together and - as PP says - go at the pace of the slowest

Flamingojune · 19/02/2026 17:19

Rhaidimiddim · 19/02/2026 17:14

You think? He wasn't prepared to stop to help them thru the tricky bits.

And even if they did stop eventually. What kind of fun is it to be puffing along all along at the rear, alone and struggling to keep up.

Show quote history

The kids didnt need help

sadanddistressed · 19/02/2026 17:17

When I was a teenager and did DofE, we were taught that a group out walking must walk at the speed of the slowest person.
You must keep your group together and not lose anyone.

It is a big effort for the faster ones to stick to the speed of the slower ones, but it is good walking discipline.

So if he thinks he is an experienced walker or a 'good' walker, he really should go bakc to basics!

Rhaidimiddim · 19/02/2026 17:14

Flamingojune · 19/02/2026 16:57

Surely they would have stopped eventually, it is a bit petulant to abandon them

You think? He wasn't prepared to stop to help them thru the tricky bits.

And even if they did stop eventually. What kind of fun is it to be puffing along all along at the rear, alone and struggling to keep up.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 19/02/2026 17:12

Absolutely not! This is classic behaviour, the alpha man at the front making no effort to support the rest of the group. Inevitably mum pauses to make sure the DC successfully negotiate the hazards, and is then left to catch up.

Original poster
Mounjaroday · 19/02/2026 17:12

NotDarkGothicMama · 19/02/2026 16:58

YANBU. Did you let them know where you were though, or were they worried? DH is nearly a foot taller than me and often forgets that I have to trot to keep up with him. This is often a problem in airports, where I'm left behind with my bag and the crap the kids hand me. Very annoying.

I just crowed “you know what, I’ll just see you back at the car”.

OP posts:
Rhaidimiddim · 19/02/2026 17:12

I'd have done the same. (In fact I have done, twice - on cycle rides.)

If "D" H wants a forced march at his pace he can do it on his own, or take the kids with and monitor them and help them manage the tricky bits.

If he wants a family walk, he should park the rude attitude and adjust his pace to one you can easily manage.

The kids should be apologising to you for leaving you behind, rather than giving you attitude. They need to learn that their dad's treatment of you sucked, and they should have stood up for you when he was yelling at you.

grumpygrape · 19/02/2026 17:04

You asked them to wait up, they didn't, you did your own thing. More power you. 🤗