AIBU to have ditched my family on holiday walk

Perhaps it's time to start a new tradition when you're at the coast! Those who want to barrel along on a fast walk with Dad can do so; anyone who'd prefer a slower walk and/or a wander around town with Mum can do that instead. All meet up later.

We can be friends! Sod them! If you can’t enjoy it together I’d go and enjoy myself else where. Obvs I’d make them aware but while they’re off walking (I also enjoy walking) if they didn’t wait up or have enough respect to check on me and wait I’d be off too.

Given the kids were able to jump the mud and leg it after their dad more easily than their mum, I'm going to say they were not toddlers and the father was perfectly capable of keeping them safe on his own.

Without knowing how old the children are and what kind/ how safe the walk was, its hard to say. If your DH is striding ahead, oblivious to the rest of you, and you left toddlers on a rocky cliff walk, without informing him "properly" and left them without adequate supervision, then you would be absolutely irresponsible and unreasonable. If the "children" are teenagers, on a trapse through muddy fields, then absolutely NOT unreasonable.

My tall husband used to stride out and leave me behind - no matter what I said. Later, after we'd divorced, I realised this was a technique for undermining me... Look at any crowded city centre - all the tall people keeping pace with their shorter companions, no problem. It's a universal and intuitive thing to do. When someone 'can't' manage it you need to be suspicious of their true motives.
You did the right thing.

Indeed. And maybe she likes walking when she's got her walking boots on. It's been so wet, I bet the mud was much slippier for her than for the others in boots.

ha ha!! go you ....

Maybe she likes going for a walk but dislikes going on a march. LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT! LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD! DON'T YOU DARE LOOKING AT THE VIEW!

Not that I'd be doing a coastal walk due to mobility issues but I'd definitely leave them to it, if I were you. If they want to be stroppy about it, tell them ahead of time that you would prefer to mooch around the antique/gift shops/cafes and they can sod off on their brisk, bracing walk, 'BTW, I'll be in X cafe having a hot chocolate and some cake but away you go and freeze your arses off. Are you having fun yet?'.

He’s being passive aggressive
don’t give in
you did the right thing.
and every time he does it, turn round and go back.

You didn’t leave them, they left you! YANBU. We all have different interests and holidays especially should be the time to enjoy them without feeling pressurised to doing what others want.

Well said.

I think you mean there's clearly a range of decency in the family.

Wow, this is totally uncalled for! She already said the kids ran to catch him up and she was the last one to cross! There's also no mention of kids ages, genders or heights, and kids are often faster than mums because they have way more energy, and mums have had bodily changes due to childbirth. Men are generally taller and faster than women even if they gave similar fitness levels, why do you think in races they don't put men against women?

Bringing someone's guessed weight into it when it's nothing to do with the situation is ridiculous.

Ha ha both annoying! How about the shops? We always split up to wander down a high street and agree a time to meet up, suits me

Good point, however remember this bit, which I just read again to check:

“Wait up” was met with a rather cross “well keep up then” nonsense from DH. He doesn’t wait for me and they keep going - DH striding away, and the kids trotting along - and they don’t even bother looking where I am. They are easily 20m in front at this point.”

Granted, a text message to say ‘see you back in town’ might have been wise, but, the impression I get is they were pretty near the start of the walk so, a) it’s not too far back so not much reason for anyone to worry about her welfare; b) it’s not going to get better, just worse, as the walk goes on, and c) they are not listening or responding to her anyway.

There are people who need to ‘lead’ others for whatever reason, on physical activities like fast walks, designed for themselves not all the people with them.
A bloke was in the news recently for leaving his girlfriend on a mountain after dragging her off on a climb way above her experience or ability. More extreme example of course- but he’d done it before as well, with his ex. It’s a form of showing off, probably rooted in insecurity.

Well done you! I would have had the same reaction.

However, in my family it's often me who is the one striding off leaving my husband behind. No idea why he has to walk so slowly 😅I find it more tiring to walk slowly than have more momentum walking faster. The kids then have a choice which parent to walk with. It usually goes two with Dad and one with me. A different one each time. It seems to work!

Absolutely not. Leaving you behind is rude, disrespectful and so unkind. Frankly, I’d tell them exactly how you feel and let them simmer. Enjoy tomorrow’s stroll around the shops, I’d leave them to it.

Well done for standing up for yourself and enjoying your time!

Definitely! I would tell her that walking alone isn't fun so I will join her in a cafe at a convenient time, later on.

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Family walks are meant to be fun & you go at the pace of the slowest. To stop them worrying you'd slipped down the cliff. I would've shouted "Bye, I'm off to the shops, see you later".

Totally agree
And if they do fall behind, wait and not set off as soon as they catch up.
If OP doesn’t enjoy walks much send DH off with kids and go and enjoy yourself
btw 20 m isn’t much. It’s not like they vanished out of sight….

i think this is what you need to do going forward. But agree it from the start ..I like walking but your afternoon sounds heavenly to me 😄 everyone should be able to do what they enjoy on holiday. You can all meet up again later and have a nice meal or whatever you all enjoy.

Well aren't you a dream 🙄