DH and family left me alone in a restaurant

I agree, OP.

Their manners are as poor as their communication skills. It's apparent your DH was brought up that way too.

Perhaps they thought you were being rude walking off without saying goodbye?

She didn't though.

She went to the loo, told them that & thought that thy would still be there when she got back.

I was the same as a kid but it had the opposite effect and made me just tihnk this is normal when its not at all

I think you have accept other people have different views to you and when that occurs it doesn’t give you the right to take offense or become rude,

I am baffled you’re complaining about kindness and empathy whilst running amok on line and being rude to people, simply as they think it’s acceptable for a pregnant woman to walk out a restaurant alone.

the irony is something else.

Yes, that's definitely just you.

It worries me that you feel like you need to be looked after. You are not a child, you are a grown woman who now has a child!
Get some independence!

I think if she was looking for the car... she was probably dropped off whilst he found a parking space... so didn't know where he'd parked. What was so urgent that he had to rush off and wait in the car, leaving her to search for it?

I think it’s quite normal to wait outside. If my in laws had then gone home and not said goodbye that would be rude by my standards- but it wouldn't be something I’d hold on to/ still think about.

How long ago did this happen, @TemporaryWombat ?

I don't think it was the best etiquette in the world on their part, but still relatively small fry.

The bill was paid and everyone had gone, and you had to ask the waiter where they all were? You didn't just assume they'd all gone outside?
I'm not understanding this really, I'd have just seen they weren't at the table and gone outside.

Perhaps they thought you were being rude walking off without saying goodbye?

Knowing everyone would be getting up to leave, you go off with acknowledging the situation. Presumably DH walked his parents to the car and didn’t think to go back in.

I was thinking the same. Is it a wider pattern?

At 8 months preg.. your DH should have checked on you before rushing off. I mean you could have started contractions for all they knew, or be throwing up or something.

What was the rush anyway.

It is, however, exactly what my inconsiderate in laws would have done. It smacks of people thinking they are so important they can't wait for anyone. Or bother to say goodbye. ... or wish you well with the birth. Crap behaviour IMHO.

Did you really ask the waitress where they’d gone, op?!
What did you think she’d done with them?

Well my DH and I have two kids, 17 and 15, and we always all wait until we’re all ready to leave the restaurant together. TBH, until this thread I hadn’t even noticed that’s what we do. It’s just common decency.

Same here.

Never thought it was odd either.

I think it’s rude. I’d wait for someone unless I’d specifically said to them I was going outside.

But I also wouldn’t dwell on it. Lots of people are quite ill mannered but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re doing it purposefully.

As I said this wasn’t about her capability. When have people lost empathy & kindness to others? Think you need to give your head a wobble.

A total non event, they had paid, the meal
was over. I’m surprised you had to ask a waitress where they had gone it would be obvious to most, also presumably you knew where the car was parked as you arrived at the restaurant in it. Probably time to let this go. As a family we do this all the time, if it’s winter it means the car can start getting warmed up or in summer it can cool down for a moment.

my husband and girls (when they were little ) used to find it hilarious to move the car if I popped to the loo, it became a bit of a game of let’s trick mum, my girls would be in hysterics as I played along after the first trick and over played trying to find them. They hadn’t done it for years but this year on holiday with 2 almost grown children they got in the car and said to DH quick let’s move the car while mum’s on the loo.

Wasn’t very polite, but hardly worth dwelling on. Why on earth are you carrying this around with you?

Well my DH and I have two kids, 17 and 15, and we always all wait until we’re all ready to leave the restaurant together. TBH, until this thread I hadn’t even noticed that’s what we do. It’s just common decency.

I guess if you're pregnant and it's an unlit car park it's probably easier to trip and fall over, which could of course have horrible consequences. I am not a 'every pregnant woman should be wrapped in cotton wool' person at all but leaving your wife to go an sit in a car (why?) shows a lack of care.

Trip hazards maybe - falling when 8 months pregnant is not ideal.

This happened to a friend of mine. 8 months pregnant and fell. Unborn baby died. Horrific ending.

look Most women at 8 months pregnant can exit a restaurant and walk to the car in the car park. Most are working still.

i really abhor this approach that we are such delicate incapable people we need so much support. We don’t, it is an exit from the restaurant over to the car.

‘why she couldn’t find it remains to be seen.

She was clearly capable of getting to the car, she wandered round looking for it, I suspect her husband knew what she was capable of, he lives with her, so wouldn’t need to check if she was capable of exiting the restaurant and walking to the car.

Ofcourse you could, most pregnant people can. It’s just most DH’s would care enough for their wife carrying their child to wait and walk together.

Think it has to do with OP vulnerability at 8/12 pregnant & the thoughtlessness of her family. They could have said before she went you ok getting to the car? , or her husband could have waited for her. Nothing to do with capability it has something to do being cherished. These family & husband are the type of people who turn up day after delivery & except OP to wait on them. I’ve took patients back into hospital because their family wasn’t looking after them.

Good grief, at least we aren’t going nuts on line and hurling abuse;