Page 4 | DH and family left me alone in a restaurant

TwoShades1 · 18/02/2026 06:27

It might depend on your family. My family would wait in the restaurant (though probably not at the table as we are done and bill is paid) and then all leave together. DPs family will leave the restaurant and wait out the front/where the car is located.

ArcticSkua · 18/02/2026 06:24

@Mapleleaf114 can you tell us a bit more about how men and women are treated in your country of birth? For example, in terms of domestic chores and career opportunities?

Mapleleaf114 · 18/02/2026 05:37

PollyBell · 18/02/2026 05:31

Please tell me this is a joke? are we living in the 1800's still?

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Noup i come from a country where men have manners- let women go first, carry heavy items for them, stand up when women enter the room help them get seated at a dinner table. Maybe UK in such a bad state because women act, sometimes look and dress like men.

PollyBell · 18/02/2026 05:31

Mapleleaf114 · 18/02/2026 05:29

The others could have gone but if your guy had any manners he would have waited for you. British men have very low standards of etiquette tho

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Please tell me this is a joke? are we living in the 1800's still?

Mapleleaf114 · 18/02/2026 05:29

TemporaryWombat · 16/02/2026 11:59

This didn’t happen recently but it still bugs me! Went out for a meal for MIL birthday, I was 8 months pregnant and at the end of the meal FIL paid the bill - I stood up and told DH I was going to the toilet, went (I wasn’t long) came back and everyone had buggered off! I was stood there embarrassed asking the waiters where everyone was. I went to the car park and wandered around in the dark trying to find DH car.

AIBU or is it really inconsiderate to just leave? DH sees no fault and said the meal was over and it was obvious we were all leaving. It felt very crappy and definitely not something I would do or my family.

The others could have gone but if your guy had any manners he would have waited for you. British men have very low standards of etiquette tho

PollyBell · 18/02/2026 05:28

Noluthando · 18/02/2026 00:07

they should have waited for you in the restaurant or just outside, or at least your husband should have, to check you're ok and accompany you to the car.

Why is the OP a child?

how do some people get up themsleves in the morning without a chaperone?

LilacOpal · 18/02/2026 05:26

If you see your in-laws often and are casual with them, I don't see the problem with them buggering off. Your DH, on the other hand, should have waited for you. If he is not typically thoughtless, I would suggest letting it go though -- don't become resentful.

TansySorrel · 18/02/2026 04:02

Yanbu. I agree with the poll majority. The considerate thing would be dh to have waited for you to walk back together.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 18/02/2026 03:46

Dear God, I do wonder how some people can ever hope to have the resilience to weather actual problems in life, when non-events like this can take up so much of their mental energy.

nomas · 18/02/2026 00:37

I’d not leave my DH or mum like that, but I would leave my sister, brother or in laws, because they would have come with others and they should be looking out for them.

Same with DH, he would wait for me and has done.

Autumngirl5 · 18/02/2026 00:08

How old are you?

Noluthando · 18/02/2026 00:07

they should have waited for you in the restaurant or just outside, or at least your husband should have, to check you're ok and accompany you to the car.

Cherryicecreamx · 17/02/2026 23:30

I think they should have waited for you at least at the front door if not at the table. Did nobody say goodbye to you then after the meal?
Not sure why DH walked out and waited in the car instead! It comes across as rude enough that I'd wonder what I'd done to have peed him off!

Mayana1 · 17/02/2026 23:19

TemporaryWombat · 16/02/2026 11:59

This didn’t happen recently but it still bugs me! Went out for a meal for MIL birthday, I was 8 months pregnant and at the end of the meal FIL paid the bill - I stood up and told DH I was going to the toilet, went (I wasn’t long) came back and everyone had buggered off! I was stood there embarrassed asking the waiters where everyone was. I went to the car park and wandered around in the dark trying to find DH car.

AIBU or is it really inconsiderate to just leave? DH sees no fault and said the meal was over and it was obvious we were all leaving. It felt very crappy and definitely not something I would do or my family.

So they didn't abandoned you in the restaurant - they just went to cars and your husband was in the car park when you reached. Your title reads like they forgot completely you were there with them and drove off.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 17/02/2026 23:12

MyMilchick · 16/02/2026 12:13

I don't see the issue, presumably he was just waiting in the car? I don't see what you being 8 months pregnant has to do with anything either, you would still have had to walk to the car either way

I think your are being very judgemental and cruel to be honest.

This woman was 8 months pregnant.Probably felt a bit vulnerable and wanted to feel safe walking across a car park in the dark. This wouldn't be a big ask for my family.

In fact, one of my family would have insisted that they wait for me. I would have not needed to ask

To spell it out.Presumably there could have been other cars, taxis etc coming and going in the dark car park. Maybe some of the drivers had drank a bit.

As for this woman's husband. Who is presumably was the father of her child. He ouldn't care less along with rest of the dining party.

Poor Show!

wingsanddreams · 17/02/2026 23:11

It’s not about being “over-emotional”. Plenty of people would find that rude. I’d never leave someone without saying anything, especially if they’d gone to the loo and were heavily pregnant. Other people not minding doesn’t make your reaction wrong.

BeAmberZebra · 17/02/2026 23:10

Wow. Of course DH should have waited and walked you to the car. Being 8 months pregnant just made his neglect worse.

Thedownwardspiralpath · 17/02/2026 22:54

LovesLabradors · 16/02/2026 12:14

I can't believe these responses - I think it's totally rude to up and leave a restaurant whilst someone is in the loo! You wait and all leave together, surely?

I agree, it’s very rude and uncaring.

Pistachiocake · 17/02/2026 22:48

Rockstick · 16/02/2026 12:00

I think it woukd be quite normal to meet people outside if you'd decided to go to the loo as everyone was leaving, and presumably DH's car was where you'd left it. How big can a restaurant carpark be?

Agree, but if it is still upsetting you after a long time OP, you could ask for some support.

Prosecco85 · 17/02/2026 22:03

I think this is really unreasonable. DH should have said I will meet you in the car when he saw you get up to go to the loo. Has anything else like this happened again?

Catpuss66 · 17/02/2026 22:01

To all the people saying she overreacted, swap the OP for your mother would you do the same to her?
if it is a yes then we have our answer.

Goatsarebest · 17/02/2026 21:59

I would always wait for my partner and they would wait for me. But it seems we are in a very small minority. I would find it rude if everyone had left when I came back from the toilet, thankfully I married someone who thinks the same.

Sennelier1 · 17/02/2026 21:42

Your DH should've waited for you near the door of the restaurant or,standing,in full.view next to the car.

Wildefish · 17/02/2026 21:40

KilkennyCats · 17/02/2026 18:21

Are you really suggesting an 8 months pregnant woman shouldn’t be allowed out alone, in case the baby comes early? Or that op might have been actually giving birth in the loo for all her erring husband knew and he’d have missed it, sitting in blissful ignorance in the car park?

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No I’m not. I’m suggesting a bit of thoughtfulness wouldn’t have gone a miss.

Anna1mac · 17/02/2026 21:40

And you STILL carry this with you?? Time to let go.