DH and family left me alone in a restaurant

Pregnant or not I am not a porcelain doll who is a mature intelligent woman who coped perfectly well when I was single and can still manage to do so now I am married, we may be legally married but we are own person

I do manage to go out on my own without a chaperone and am perfectly capable of going to the bathroom without people standing on ceremony waiting for my return and managed perfectly well doing things out and about at 8 and 9 months pregnant and after birth and with a newborn, toddler, child

Why is the concept of this such a bizarre one? why are women so incapable?

I haven’t read the whole thread, but to be honest I’m staggered at the amount of people who said this is normal or it wouldn’t bother them. Pregnant or not I think it’s the absolute height of rudeness to all go off without at least one person waiting ( obviously not the whole party!). At 8 months pregnant it’s also pretty bizarre as it’s not unknown for babies to arrive early , so it would be considerate for someone to wait until you reappeared from the toilet. If a partner scuttled off to the car leaving me in a restaurant on my own I would be soooo hacked off - that being said I’m obviously in the minority- maybe that’s why I’m long term single?!!

Good grief! Are you prone to such drama often?

exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.
i meant it to be taken literally..
what next? Drop her off outside maternity and go out with his families friends. OP needs to think carefully about her future and her children.

Even when I go out with friends, people wait at the table while toilet visits are done. And if someone is in a rush, they’ll say goodbye before other person heads to toilet. No one just walks out, have never seen that tbh. My DH and I always use the toilet after paying the bill - we both wait at table while the other goes. Why wouldn’t you wait, staff don’t rush you out if someone’s in the toilet. It’s just common courtesy to wait or at least say goodbye before you go if you can’t wait.

I think it’s rude nobody sad goodbye and they all left you behind yes!

Sitting on the fence as there’s a couple of different scenarios. Firstly if it’s cold or rainy DH will say he will go and get the car and meet me out the front, other times he will wait in the foyer or table.

I’ve not had to go and find him, although one occasion we dined with his half sister and her hubby and as we had said our goodbyes and our DC and myself were getting into the car, I looked around to see why DH wasn’t there and his half sister had stopped him along the way to the car.

When he got to the car I asked him what that was about and he replied ‘she wanted to know if everything was ok”.

is it possible the family did this to your DH as well ?

Why would you not just enjoy each others company like doing before the bill was paid? I cannot see how paying then makes things awkward.

Or perhaps British women don’t particularly want to be treated like fragile children? Do you squeal when you see a mouse as well? Good grief 🙄

it's likely your senses were heightened and this would have bothered you more at 8 months pregnant. But, now? It's maybe not the most polite behaviour but certainly not unheard of if the meal was finished and waiting staff have a job to do. How did you get to the restaurant - presumably in the car. Wouldn't it be where you parked it? I feel like you're ruminating on something really inconsequential....

They are, but if you look at the poll, most people are used to caring family members and it's a minority who have never experienced a caring partner so they're mocking it. It's just that the ones with low standards are quite vocal and aggressive on the thread so it seems like there's more of them.

If the bill has been paid but everyone is still sitting around chatting, then yes it’s rude for them to have just left while you were in the toilet. If someone had said ‘right, shall we go then?’, the correct response from OP’s husband (or anyone else who noticed) should have been ‘yeah in a sec, OP’s just gone to the loo.’

At 8 months pregnant, my DH would 💯 be waiting in the restaurant until I returned from the bathroom.

😂 the hyperbole

No it’s a serious event and her husband showed appalling judgement here. She needs his care, support and attention which he did not supply.

It’s not about OPs resilience or her ability to dal with life’s problems, it’s about a husband not demonstrating care and love for his very pregnant wife. Very poor show on his part. Not sure she should let this go as what happens next? Does he drop her off outside maternity and go to the pub with his mates or family. Slippery slope territory.

An absolute non event.

Cruel? Jesus christ 😂 Also, isn't the actual point of the AIBU section to judge the given situation?

I think your husband should have waited at least by the door for you, and not leave you to cross a dark carpark alone, especially as pregnant.
very rude behaviour… 😳

Were they waiting in the car park or had they fucked off home leaving you there?
If they just went outside and waited in the car park then there's no issue here. Happens all the time.
How long were you on the toilet if they didn't even have their coats on when you went in?

Total overreaction to nothing but there seem to be a lot of threads about things like this at the moment and there was even one earlier in the week where someone else went to the toilet and their friend went out for the day while she was in there.

My husband would have opened the car up for parents,then waited for me at the door. He and family wouldnt have waited at the table though. If the meal is over ,its a given that you leave. I think you ought to just let it go. What's done cant be undone.

And judging by the comments on this thread, a lot of women are ok with it, unfortunately.

Was he waiting in fhe car? No biggie or reason to harbour a grudge

Precious princess

I can never understand why people have to leave mean comments. MN is supposed to be a forum of support, not a forum to make people feel even worse. There are ways of sharing a perspective without judgement and criticism.