DH and family left me alone in a restaurant

If they had said "meet you in the car park" that would've been fine.
They didn't, so it's pretty naff.

I don't think it's normal - we usually wait for each other but we don't have cars to go sit in and are usually going to same place with IL after ie out somehwere else of back to ours as not local. If we'd left the table we'd be near the toilets or door.

8 months pg needing the loo more frequently not abnormal. I do wonder if DH said to leave to them rather than hang round waiting- though if not at table I'd have gone to car park to look for car I persuably came in and then phoned DH to ask where he was if I couldn't find for some reason.

Yes but she was in a restaurant with other people around, not stranded in the middle of the Yorkshire moors or something. She could ask for help in those extremely unlikely scenarios you have painted

Surely if they weren’t at the table you would have surmised they’d have gone back to the car? I don’t see why you needed to ask the waiter - where else would they have gone? Or what you being pregnant had to do with it

I’m surprised at the responses. With a group meal, I think it’s rude to leave without saying goodbye to everyone. So if one person had gone to the toilet, I probably would have still put my coat on and perhaps even gone to the door/outside the door. But then I would wait until that person re-appeared to say goodnight/thanks for coming to my meal/see you soon/drive safely/etc. I would never get up and leave a group meal without saying goodbye - rude!

But that said, I would not be stewing on it for weeks or months (or years?!) afterwards. I’d just accept that’s how those (rude) people are and be prepared for it next time.

No, it's off. Not terrible but impolite of your in-laws and inconsiderate of your husband - I suppose he gets it from them. I'd ask him explicitly to do considerate things until he gets it.

My DH wouldn’t have left me at 8 months pregnant. He probably would have waited for me near the loo.

I can't see a problem with this. I think if the bill has been paid then it's more awkward to sit at the table and wait for someone to come back from the toilet, especially if they're a long time.

This would rub me the wrong way too OP - I know many others are saying it’s normal but it’s not to me. I find it rude and inconsiderate, however, I also think I probably would’ve forgotten about it quite soon. If it’s still on your mind now, I wonder if it’s indicative of a wider pattern of behaviour? Or maybe how you feel that the way your DH and PIL treat you is generally a bit dismissive and inconsiderate and this was a manifestation of that?

Depends...if I'd said goodbye before going to the loo then I'd expect the in-laws to have gone and hubby to wait for me. But if they cleared out while I was in the loo then that's bad manners. Probably I've texted "sorry didn't get a chance to say goodbye, hope you got home ok" just to let them know id noted it. And at the next meal "I'm off to the loo...Marge, Dennis will you be here when I get back as I'd love to say goodbye"

Sounds normal to me. I'd have said goodbye before I went to the loo so people didn't have to hang about waiting for me.

I can understand your feelings. If everyone had paid and were heading to the door and you said you'd pop back for a wee, fair enough, but if everyone was just finishing up and you find everyone gone as you come out the loo, well I'd feel like I wasn't important to the group and nobody cared despite my working double time carrying a baby. The comments on here are like a race to the bottom for how little consideration and care women are willing to take in order to look cool and carefree. Fuck yes, I'm going to be high maintenance. I expect my husband to wait for me, and to want to walk me to the car in the dark. Could I clean and press the weight of most men, yes probably, but do I expect to be treated like a Queen - also yes.

Edited to add: AIBU?? If that's U, then try being even MORE unreasonable. Raise their standards to the appropriate level.

I can't believe these responses - I think it's totally rude to up and leave a restaurant whilst someone is in the loo! You wait and all leave together, surely?

need more info about exactly what happened.

Unlike most of the posters I do think it's a bit weird to leave the (warm) restaurant to sit in a cold car for someone. I absolutely would wait for someone to come back from the toilet, in DH's (i.e. the person you were driving home with) to walk to the car together. It's not like him waiting outside is going to make her go any faster!

In the case of everyone else, if they literally just left the restaurant and drove home without saying goodbye, I also think that was rude.

I don't understand people who feel they have to leg it out of a restaurant the moment the bill is paid, it puts a dampener on the evening, as if it was an unpleasant chore they're glad is over. Absolutely don't linger for hours, as the restaurant needs the table back, but taking 5 mins to go to the loo, put coats on, say goodbye, etc., whether it happens at the table/in the foyer/entrance hall or just outside, is much nicer.

In this case OP had her DH but if people think it is fine to do generally, what happens if it's someone who came alone - OP could have tripped/started early labour/have car trouble and all her friends would have already pissed off home!

I don't see the issue, presumably he was just waiting in the car? I don't see what you being 8 months pregnant has to do with anything either, you would still have had to walk to the car either way

I think you are being a little dramatic. Agree that surely the car was where you left it - if it had been moved anywhere other than to make it more convenient to collect you then that would be super weird and unkind.

However, it is quite bad manners. My husband would not do this not now, not at 8 months pregnant as he would want to walk to the car together. Also most people order the bill, pay and finish of their drinks. It's not necessary to be some mad scramble to leave the instant you pay.

So YANBU but it's no biggie either. Is it symptomatic of you generally feeling that your DH is a bit inconsiderate?

Were they waiting outside? If so then YABU
Did they drive off and leave you behind? YANBU

I’ll have to presume there is (a lot) more to this because this incident alone would not have registered with me at all, 8 months pregnant or not I can find my way out of a restaurant on my own and actually would prefer that rather than everyone standing around waiting for me!

I’m trying to work out the relevance of the pregnancy?

they didn’t abandon you! You were all leaving and you went to the toilet. You’re a grown woman! You can walk to the car without escorting. You are being over dramatic

If they had already paid and people were getting coats on, I really don't think it's a big deal.

You were 8 months pregnant at the time and you say this is a while ago. So have you had a baby in the meantime and this is still in your mind?
Is there more to this?

I think once the bill is paid it's perfectly normal to leave, staff don't want people hanging around inside. How long ago did this happen?

Why wasn't the car in the same place as when you got out of it? Where else could everyone have been - hiding in the kitchen as a prank?