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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH and family left me alone in a restaurant

365 replies

TemporaryWombat · 16/02/2026 11:59

This didn’t happen recently but it still bugs me! Went out for a meal for MIL birthday, I was 8 months pregnant and at the end of the meal FIL paid the bill - I stood up and told DH I was going to the toilet, went (I wasn’t long) came back and everyone had buggered off! I was stood there embarrassed asking the waiters where everyone was. I went to the car park and wandered around in the dark trying to find DH car.

AIBU or is it really inconsiderate to just leave? DH sees no fault and said the meal was over and it was obvious we were all leaving. It felt very crappy and definitely not something I would do or my family.

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 16/02/2026 13:44

What?! I wouldn’t do that to a friend let alone my very pregnant wife! If someone goes to the loo you all sit and wait! I can’t believe the responses in here! Very rude.

BillieWiper · 16/02/2026 13:43

Starlight1979 · 16/02/2026 13:23

How would the staff know where everyone was?

This. Why on earth were you asking waiters where your family had gone? Where else could they possibly have been? Hiding under the table? Kidnapped by the kitchen staff?

Show quote history

Haha. Yeah, quite. They're hardly going to say 'oh a couple of them just went off in a helicopter to Monaco and the rest told us they were going to a crack den'.

Rockstick · 16/02/2026 13:42

If you went to the loo as everyone was leaving, wasn't it you who was rude if you went without saying goodbye?

SweeetFannyAdams · 16/02/2026 13:42

LovesLabradors · 16/02/2026 12:14

I can't believe these responses - I think it's totally rude to up and leave a restaurant whilst someone is in the loo! You wait and all leave together, surely?

The waiting staff will want to clear the table and get it set up for the next lot of diners.

It would be very rude to make them hang about waiting for someone to have a wee!

diddl · 16/02/2026 13:41

Sounds rude to me also.

What was the big rush?

Ils could have said goodbye & left.

No need for husband to walk them to the car I wouldn't have thought.

I'd be thinking that something must have happened to someone!

NeedSleepNowww · 16/02/2026 13:40

BruisedNeckMeat · 16/02/2026 12:06

Total non-event.

The meal was finished, bill paid yet you were asking wait staff where everyone was? You were deliberately being dramatic.

My exact thoughts.

QuickPeachPoet · 16/02/2026 13:39

I wouldn't have done it, but I know others who would.
Not sure what being pregnant has to do with it.

shhblackbag · 16/02/2026 13:38

They'd paid. I would have said goodbye to PILs before going to the loo, and your husband was fine to wait for you outside. The restaurant presumably needs the table back. I think it's not a big deal.

LucyLoo1972 · 16/02/2026 13:27

im realising just how badly ive been treated by everyone around me and allowed them to get away with it. to the extent I was caused harm by the accumulation of the stresses.

BlimeyOReillyO · 16/02/2026 13:26

Starlight1979 · 16/02/2026 13:23

How would the staff know where everyone was?

This. Why on earth were you asking waiters where your family had gone? Where else could they possibly have been? Hiding under the table? Kidnapped by the kitchen staff?

Show quote history

Laughing emoji needed!

nocoolnamesleft · 16/02/2026 13:26

The only way I can make the OP make sense would be if her DH had originally dropped her at the door, and then gone to park. I can’t see any other way she wouldn’t know where the car was parked.

Twingoo · 16/02/2026 13:25

SweeetFannyAdams · 16/02/2026 12:10

I’m trying to work out the relevance of the pregnancy?

There is none of course. But some precious Princess faux vulnerable attention seeking vibes are required to beef up this nonsense!

outerspacepotato · 16/02/2026 13:25

If FIL was paying the bill, they were obviously on their way out. I would go outside and look, this would be a complete nothingburger.

Starlight1979 · 16/02/2026 13:23

BillieWiper · 16/02/2026 13:15

How would the staff know where everyone was? They went outside. Presumably you know where the car is parked. The staff don't.

There was no reason for the whole group to block a table after the bill was paid because one person used the toilet. If anything that could be seen as rude.

I don't see how you could still be concerned about this after months, years?

How would the staff know where everyone was?

This. Why on earth were you asking waiters where your family had gone? Where else could they possibly have been? Hiding under the table? Kidnapped by the kitchen staff?

CombatBarbie · 16/02/2026 13:21

LovesLabradors · 16/02/2026 12:14

I can't believe these responses - I think it's totally rude to up and leave a restaurant whilst someone is in the loo! You wait and all leave together, surely?

Exactly this!!!!

BlimeyOReillyO · 16/02/2026 13:21

Why were you wandering around looking for the car? Had he moved it?

Pallisers · 16/02/2026 13:20

Your in laws were rude not to even wait to say goodbye - they could have stood up, put on their coats and waited by the door for a few minutes.

Your dh should have waited for you.

Growlybear83 · 16/02/2026 13:18

I think it's very strange that you felt embarrassed, and even more strange that it's still bothering you some time later.

Zippedydodah · 16/02/2026 13:18

No one ‘left’ you anywhere, they didn’t all drive off leaving you behind.
And, presumably, you knew where the car was parked as you’d arrived in it? Being pregnant has nothing to do with it, you weren’t in labour were you?
Drama much me thinks 🙄

TheAutumnCrow · 16/02/2026 13:17

TemporaryWombat · 16/02/2026 12:13

They were all sat down and no one had coats on etc. Maybe I was pregnant and over emotional…! I do think that it was common courtesy for MIL and family to say goodbye to me and I still think DH should have waited for me instead of leaving the restaurant but that’s just me!

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Yes, they were bloody rude, uncouth and ill-mannered.

Deadringer · 16/02/2026 13:17

My dh would wait for me, if not inside the restaurant than right outside the door. Its the polite thing to do imo.

ThatCyanCat · 16/02/2026 13:17

If you'd already said goodbye, it doesn't seem awful that the in laws left. Your husband should certainly have hung about inside though!

BillieWiper · 16/02/2026 13:15

How would the staff know where everyone was? They went outside. Presumably you know where the car is parked. The staff don't.

There was no reason for the whole group to block a table after the bill was paid because one person used the toilet. If anything that could be seen as rude.

I don't see how you could still be concerned about this after months, years?

Vaxtable · 16/02/2026 13:15

I would have expected him to wait by the door especially as you weee heavily pregnant and it was dark in the car park

MammaTo · 16/02/2026 13:14

I am baffled by the responses saying YABU. I would be upset if my OH left the restaurant without me, he could have at least waited by the door or outside, especially 8 months pregnant. The more I think about it my FIL would probably pull my OH up if he left without me.