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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be upset about daughters removal?

214 replies

AbFab1231 · 11/02/2026 13:54

I’m genuinely seeking the opinion of people who aren’t emotionally tied to this and am completely open to hearing if I’m in the wrong.
My daughters have been at the same cheer club for four years. I’ve always had what I thought was a good relationship with the head coach/owner, and she has genuinely helped my daughters develop.
Over the past year, training increased significantly, and so did the cost. What had been around £450 per term for both girls rose to around £1,400 per term. The owner acknowledged that this was a big jump and offered most parents monthly payment plans. I was paying just under £450 per month to keep the girls training.

Across four years, I’ve raised three concerns:

  1. Progression/communication – One year there were no competitions, and sessions are closed to parents. At the end-of-year showcase, my daughter performed the same routine she’d done the year before. I was confused, as I’d regularly asked how she was doing and had always been told sessions were good. I raised that I would have appreciated clearer communication if she was behind or not progressing as expected.
  2. Competition scheduling – At one competition, my daughter’s solo slot (and another child’s) was moved in a way that meant the rest of the team wouldn’t be present to support them. The owner said it would be unfair to expect other families to change travel plans. I understood that. However, she then said that if our girls didn’t support them before they flew back, they wouldn’t be allowed to compete. Myself and the other childs parents felt the expectations weren’t being applied consistently and raised that concern.
  3. Uniform reveal filming day – The club announced an exciting uniform reveal/photo day. However, children whose uniforms were still being paid off on instalments couldn’t take part despite it being a 'team event'. I queried this privately, saying I understood the business side but felt it could feel excluding to the majority of children whose parents were on payment plans (which had been offered to parents by the club to support affordability as costs were previously around £400 a term, but gone up to about £1400 just speaking for myself).

Following this, the owner said the club no longer felt like a fit for our family and ended both girls’ memberships. My daughters are devastated - I've been paying this years fees since September for a mix of tumble solo and Cheer team, cheer choreography camp, routine days, etc. Their first competition of this season is in March and she's removed them.

There were no safeguarding concerns, no aggression, no public confrontation – all concerns were raised privately and in writing.

So AIBU for raising these 3 concerns over time? Or does ending the children’s places feel disproportionate in this situation?

I genuinely want perspective.

OP posts:
MrsAvocet · 11/02/2026 14:19

Sounds like you have had a lucky escape to me! I appreciate that your daughters will be very upset right now but this sounds like a rather toxic environment and they are probably better out of it. My DC had rather all consuming hobbies too so I do understand how devastating it must feel right now, but I also know how damaging these kind of things can be and how important it is to find the right team/club/coach etc. Look for other options. Where have the other young people who left/got thrown out gone?
You are not unreasonable to feel upset but this sounds like a situation that can't be retrieved (and probably shouldn't be to be frank). Learn from the experience and move on.

ScreenChime · 11/02/2026 14:18

Leave after writing a suitable review….

CmonBobby · 11/02/2026 14:14

I think you’ve been a boiling frog in this situation, it gently got madder and madder and you didn’t notice and you’ve just accepted over time paying thousands, your daughters being worked like dogs, and being scared of the manager.

We had a very similar situation with a football team and woke up one day and thought WTF and left (before we were pushed tbf). DS, after about fifteen minutes upset, was fine and actually once the sadness wore off we all realised it was all mental and have never looked back.

This is a GOOD thing, probably a great thing for the whole family. Just take a breather until
after Easter and then think about joining another team or pivoting to a new club. Keep it fun. Even if your girls are destined to be professional tumblers/cheerleaders (vanishingly unlikely) then they won’t fall behind having a a couple of months out and then keeping training to a normal level for a child.

AbFab1231 · 11/02/2026 14:14

Couronne · 11/02/2026 14:07

It all sounds quite mad. I honestly don't understand why you were paying even the original sum for a club you clearly had significant concerns with, to the point of raising major concerns in writing three times in four years -- far less why you started paying the higher fees for a service you were unhappy with at even the cheaper rate?

I mean, it's some kind of cheerleading thing, right? It's supposed to be fun, right?

Just find a club that's a better fit?

Bar the first issue, the other two have only happened since the fee increase - the end of year showcase was the first complaint I'd ever raised (after 4 years of being there), and that was in June 2025. I'd never had an issue before and so didn't feel this was a big enough issue to remove her as she loved it and she assured me the new pathways would align better with my wanting to know exactly how she was getting on - which it definitely has.

The second issue was in November. And then the final issue was this one that just happened a couple of days ago.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 11/02/2026 14:11

You say these were raised over time, so what immediately preceded the cancelling of their places and is there a contact in place?

Couronne · 11/02/2026 14:07

It all sounds quite mad. I honestly don't understand why you were paying even the original sum for a club you clearly had significant concerns with, to the point of raising major concerns in writing three times in four years -- far less why you started paying the higher fees for a service you were unhappy with at even the cheaper rate?

I mean, it's some kind of cheerleading thing, right? It's supposed to be fun, right?

Just find a club that's a better fit?

cardibach · 11/02/2026 14:05

None of that sounds like fun. I’d find either another club or a slightly different hobby which uses the talent and skills your DDs have developed if that sort of behaviour is common across clubs.

AbFab1231 · 11/02/2026 14:04

It seems that parents are scared (and I guess rightfully so) to complain - some of the most talented children, randomly never came back and of course we never got clarity why. I now suspect it's her response to being challenged.

OP posts:
AbFab1231 · 11/02/2026 14:03

SteelMaiden · 11/02/2026 13:58

Why was there such a huge jump in fees? What were you paying for?

She'd changed the pathways and was trying to make it more in line with the squads we compete against by introducing multiple cheer groups at varying levels. Previously they trained twice a week. She'd now introduced a new pathway where the elite trainers were in 5 days a week - plus we had to commit to additional 1:1 training because she was a soloist. And for my youngest daughter who did once a week previously, her pathway now meant she was in 3 days a week.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 11/02/2026 14:03

I don't think you're being unreasonable
They don't sound very good

How are they justifying that fee increase?

BillieWiper · 11/02/2026 14:00

Yeah they sound dreadful and a rip off!
They don't deserve your custom or your daughter's talent. I hope you can find a new, better club.

For that much money the least they can do is politely address your legitimate concerns.

I can't imagine many kids and parents are happy if it's run in this way?

Gloriousgardener11 · 11/02/2026 14:00

Blimey, hideously expensive and not very inclusive, what an awful club!
I’m sorry they have upset your daughters and let them down so badly.
Has anyone else been dropped in such a way?
Find another club, these activities are supposed to be fun but from what you’ve said it’s anything but.

SteelMaiden · 11/02/2026 13:58

Why was there such a huge jump in fees? What were you paying for?

ThatHappyBlueCritic · 11/02/2026 13:55

Find a better team they sound awful!!

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