AIBU to be upset about daughters removal?

This sounds like a ginornous scam

Bloody awful. I'm assuming it's a popular club with a waiting list hence she can just dictate what she wants and boot out anyone who challenges her because it won't affect cash flow.

My son did gymnastics in his younger years and he was in a long waiting list and then had to audition to get in.
The club was actually very well run and professional but they had high standards about attendance, behaviour and expectations and kids did get booted out much to the indignation of the parents sometimes. Once my son was in year 9 I think he had to attend an extra session on a weekday evening to act as assistant coach in one of the younger groups and that was compulsory in order to stay in the club. (It would have become a modestly paid role after 6 months but covid happened before then and he never went back to club.)

But I agree with you that the coach wasn't just about high standards but some quite unrealistic demands - I think the power went to her head! The victimisation of the payment plan kids was just plain nasty.

Hope your daughters find and enjoy a new club.

I think you’re well out of it and it’s great that you can find something new. My daughter has been doing dance at the same school for years (she’s 13) and just joined the comp team this year. It’s a bizarre setup and I actually think the competitions are a form of pyramid scheme. It’s actually been brilliant for her (she’s autistic with selective mutism and this has really helped her socially) but I don’t think this is helping her into a career in dance or anything like that as it’s such a weird insular environment. And so much money. So much.

am sure you’ll find a better fit when you dust yourself off. You and your kids are clearly motivated and they must be hard workers to train that hard so there are other opportunities out there for them.

This sounds like the Cheer leading equivalent of Dance Mom's! Surely, it's better to find another squad that values your girls.

That's extortionate. One of my children did gymnastics for years (22 hours a week, elite squad etc) and was very happy, progressing well, had a few changes of (excellent) coaches through the years but the last one was awful, he'd make other gymnasts cry. It stopped being fun and I didn't want my child in that situation. I communicated my concerns with the leaders and he left. He joined another sport, started from scratch and now as a young adult is doing very well in it, has had amazing supportive coaches who have player wellbeing and continued involvement at the heart of everything. He's made great friends through it, it's been great for his physical and mental health and self worth. It costs us £100 for the whole year because it's volunteer run.

I've worked in dance (not cheer) and competitive dance blows my mind, it's not how professional contemporary and ballet companies and dancers work. The competition element can get really unhealthy and can push future dancers out of something they should be able to love for the rest of their lives.

On their own, your 3 issues can seem a bit niggly but put together it starts to build a picture which leaves a sour taste in the mouth.

It's sad to move on sometimes when its been such a big part of your lives but finding another club where they're happier and you're all treated more fairly will be best in the long run.

Unethical behaviour by the club with particular reference to uniform reveal day.
I would consider putting in a formal complaint to relevant body

I think you can safely assume this is the reason other kids just suddenly disappeared from training. Maybe do some digging. You will probably find similar stories.

I'm sorry your daughters are upset but I think it's for the best you leave as that team sounds horrible! Use the money to get your DDs into something else like dance or gymnastics and use the rest of the money to treat the three of you to something.

You aren't being unreasonable but they sound awful so maybe you can find a better place?

Ooh no idea how I managed to make big text 😂

The business owner has done you a favour. Great! Now you can spend much less and your girls will get more opportunities elsewhere.

Depending where you are in the uk and their ages, move your girls to a British Gymnastics accredited club for any of Tumbling, TeamGym, trampoline, artistic gymnastics, aerobic gymnastics or acro
Their cheerleading background will give them a head start. If they are older than 10 I’d probably not go for artistic but look at one of the other disciplines.
you will pay much much less and there will be many more opportunities for them to shine. And trust your gut, if you don’t like the feel of the head coach, try a different gym.

Alternatively check out performance dance troupes, synchronised swimming, diving.

lots of alternatives for fit, motivated kids

I had a club like this. When I finally found the courage to point out that there hadn’t actually been a noticeable difference in a year and things were actually going backwards the leader stopped my membership and immediately went into full character assassination mode telling everyone who would listen all about what a terrible person I was and how I had said dreadful things about them. Sadly some people think they are so important that they just can’t cope with being challenged. She just wasn’t a good club leader and didn’t have a clue what she was doing but constantly banged on about how she’s done it for 35 years and knows everything, which would have made her still at primary school when she started work! On more than one occasion she blatantly copied something she’d seen on a TV program about the topic pretending it was one of her own routines. 😂

I would be livid.
How many people does she have paying that amount every month?
10/ 20, she could be raking in 350k a year from teaching cheer for two hours a day and treats her clients like slaves at the same time.
Absolutely bonkers that anyone would pay that price but clearly they are and now you arent.
Lucky escape.

On the face of it your concerns seem very valid. However some people running clubs can be very cut throat and dont like any sort of query.

Tbh they dont sound very good not doing new work etc.

We had similar where my kid (audhd) was removed from an activity. I had questioned something (about getting a badge where the rules clearly said you could do a video but obviously my kid couldnt do in person due to anxiety. ).
Anyway not only did they remove my kid from the club, they wouldnt allow them to move to next level for over a year. And removed their sibling!
Ironically it was a crisis that pushed us towards diagnosis

My interpretation is that you have complained 3 times so she sees you as “tricky” parent. She has decided that she wants you out of the club before your complaints spread to others. To get you out, she dumps your kids.

I think she is unprofessional and with all the changes she has brought in, the owner is perhaps struggling to keep on top of things.

I think you are correct that she does not like to be challenged. Most of us don’t to be fair. But her response is poor.

I also think that you are paying through the nose for all of this. Sounds very similar to experiences my friends have had with gymnastics over the years.

Absolutely crazy. And the most expensive club ai have ever heard of!!
Although training 5 times a week I suppose per session it might be value for money.
Is there another club anywhere nearby?
The owner sounds insane tbh

You're clearly not happy with the company and haven't been for a while so you probably should have removed your daughters already. The uniform thing sounds rather harsh on the children. The manager has simply decided that it's more effort than it's worth to have your kids stay part of the club. It sucks for them but maybe you can find a club more suited to what you want.

How many weeks are in a term? Because while paying £1400 for 2 per term sounds a lot, it also sounds like you are getting a total of 8 sessions across a week and maybe some extras. If you work out the cost per session then you can compare the costs of training with other clubs. Unfortunately you may find this is just the going rate.