Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be upset about daughters removal?

214 replies

AbFab1231 · 11/02/2026 13:54

I’m genuinely seeking the opinion of people who aren’t emotionally tied to this and am completely open to hearing if I’m in the wrong.
My daughters have been at the same cheer club for four years. I’ve always had what I thought was a good relationship with the head coach/owner, and she has genuinely helped my daughters develop.
Over the past year, training increased significantly, and so did the cost. What had been around £450 per term for both girls rose to around £1,400 per term. The owner acknowledged that this was a big jump and offered most parents monthly payment plans. I was paying just under £450 per month to keep the girls training.

Across four years, I’ve raised three concerns:

  1. Progression/communication – One year there were no competitions, and sessions are closed to parents. At the end-of-year showcase, my daughter performed the same routine she’d done the year before. I was confused, as I’d regularly asked how she was doing and had always been told sessions were good. I raised that I would have appreciated clearer communication if she was behind or not progressing as expected.
  2. Competition scheduling – At one competition, my daughter’s solo slot (and another child’s) was moved in a way that meant the rest of the team wouldn’t be present to support them. The owner said it would be unfair to expect other families to change travel plans. I understood that. However, she then said that if our girls didn’t support them before they flew back, they wouldn’t be allowed to compete. Myself and the other childs parents felt the expectations weren’t being applied consistently and raised that concern.
  3. Uniform reveal filming day – The club announced an exciting uniform reveal/photo day. However, children whose uniforms were still being paid off on instalments couldn’t take part despite it being a 'team event'. I queried this privately, saying I understood the business side but felt it could feel excluding to the majority of children whose parents were on payment plans (which had been offered to parents by the club to support affordability as costs were previously around £400 a term, but gone up to about £1400 just speaking for myself).

Following this, the owner said the club no longer felt like a fit for our family and ended both girls’ memberships. My daughters are devastated - I've been paying this years fees since September for a mix of tumble solo and Cheer team, cheer choreography camp, routine days, etc. Their first competition of this season is in March and she's removed them.

There were no safeguarding concerns, no aggression, no public confrontation – all concerns were raised privately and in writing.

So AIBU for raising these 3 concerns over time? Or does ending the children’s places feel disproportionate in this situation?

I genuinely want perspective.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Bowies · 29/07/2026 09:41

Fair concerns and well raised, both clear and polite assuming your account on here was similarly worded.

They sound awful and shouldn’t be penalising your DC.

Jorge14 · 15/02/2026 19:02

To politely ask questions is not being unreasonable. You were paying an absolute fortune after all. I think you’ve had a lucky escape, it sounds a bit toxic to me. Have a breather and find a nicer club.

Volpini · 15/02/2026 08:49

We had a situation where my kids were involved in something for 2 years.
Over that time there were issues: some I chalked up and some I raised. In the end it came to a crisis point around some of the behaviours of the leaders and basically we walked out. At the time I was really upset - but as time has passed - I see more and more clearly how dissatisfactory the whole situation was. We also had parents who wouldn’t complain but moaned about things in private. I felt very upset and disappointed in them too. But we did what was right for us.
You are in the initial shock. It’s ok to feel this devastation but also - in time - you’ll come to peace with the fact you’re all better off out of it. X

LubyLooTwo · 14/02/2026 20:23

Soungs like a scam outfit. You and the girls are better off out.

NewYearSameYou · 14/02/2026 14:19

Following this, the owner said the club no longer felt like a fit for our family and ended both girls’ memberships. My daughters are devastated - I've been paying this years fees since September for a mix of tumble solo and Cheer team, cheer choreography camp, routine days, etc. Their first competition of this season is in March and she's removed them.
There were no safeguarding concerns, no aggression, no public confrontation – all concerns were raised privately and in writing.

Personally, I'd be glad to be out of a 'small gym' where many owners and coaches are in it for the money and/or to promote their own children and favourites. Seen it too many times.

A lot of big clubs are currently offering mid-season tryouts, including ours. Have a look around if they genuinely love cheer. There are some amazing clubs out there. x

redboxerclub · 14/02/2026 14:07

AbFab1231 · 13/02/2026 14:34

Appreciate your perspective but I think that is absurd. I'd say it's a lot of people with the same mindset that run these clubs with a "if you're not happy, leave" approach as opposed to applying basic customer service. 3 moments of concern (zero formal complaints by the way, just informal conversations directly with her) in 4+ years is not extreme. But you're entitled to your opinion :)

I think your reply to me is very insightful OP. 👍🏼

I have no experience of anything this by the way! I’m a teacher and we have parents who just keep Complaining and I have no idea why they don’t just leave as they seem to hate us that much. Like every week for 5 years.

I completely agree with the concerns you raised. It’s all
Crackers! But I seriously could not be arsed with the stress.

Im sorry your DDs are the ones to
suffer as a result of these hideous practises. I hope they can find a new club. Good luck 🤞

Ellebellie · 14/02/2026 07:04

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Quickchangenow · 13/02/2026 20:44

Assword · 13/02/2026 20:33

Your daughters weren’t removed. Their mum was kicked out.

Yep, for being a PITA

Assword · 13/02/2026 20:33

Your daughters weren’t removed. Their mum was kicked out.

Andflip · 13/02/2026 18:13

I think that if you find yourself expressing 3 moments of concern to a club…. Maybe best to look for an alternative.

i don’t recall ever feeling any need to raise a “moment of concern” in any of the clubs mine have been at over many years

Andflip · 13/02/2026 18:10

A small business has just actively terminated a £450 month contract. Their highest paying customer.

You clearly made some impact on this coach!

when you say it’s not the first time that you’ve been told it’s because the coach didn’t like you - who else has said this? Chatting and laughing regularly with someone for 30-40 mins post session wouldn’t indicate dislike to me.

AbFab1231 · 13/02/2026 14:34

redboxerclub · 13/02/2026 14:06

You are being unreasonable for staying with a service provider you felt you had to complain to. I just think of you weren’t happy you should move. It’s not a public service where you have no choice. Cheer and dance are hideous industries. My friends dd left at 16 after 10 years and friend got confrontational reply about why. In reality she was going to lose 400 a month in fees.

I think one complaint is fine but several is j reasonable

Appreciate your perspective but I think that is absurd. I'd say it's a lot of people with the same mindset that run these clubs with a "if you're not happy, leave" approach as opposed to applying basic customer service. 3 moments of concern (zero formal complaints by the way, just informal conversations directly with her) in 4+ years is not extreme. But you're entitled to your opinion :)

OP posts:
Eatinganapple · 13/02/2026 14:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Hankunamatata · 13/02/2026 14:08

Hopefully gymnastics workout and you can leave cheer in the past

redboxerclub · 13/02/2026 14:06

You are being unreasonable for staying with a service provider you felt you had to complain to. I just think of you weren’t happy you should move. It’s not a public service where you have no choice. Cheer and dance are hideous industries. My friends dd left at 16 after 10 years and friend got confrontational reply about why. In reality she was going to lose 400 a month in fees.

I think one complaint is fine but several is j reasonable

Eatinganapple · 13/02/2026 13:59

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

happylittlebirdy · 13/02/2026 12:03

AbFab1231 · 13/02/2026 10:10

It's a cheer club - not gymnastics. There is literally nothing else offering the same service within 10 miles. I'm not knocking them by the way - I was otherwise happy outside of the handling of my concerns.

@AbFab1231 - very roughly where are you based as people may have suggestions for good clubs? My DD goes to a great cheer club that has lots of teams for all ages and abilities - it’s about 30 min drive away but she has really blossomed there compared to her old club, so for us it’s worth it.

RandomMess · 13/02/2026 11:18

@AbFab1231our local club is small, very small when DD started and the older athletes disappeared over Covid.

This is why DD was on 3 teams when younger 😂 various levels and 2 different age groups! They stopped doing stunt teams as the group grew.

They have more younger teams now but only 2 senior/open teams and most athletes are on both. Also the age restrictions on teams has changed a lot in the last 3/4 years.

AbFab1231 · 13/02/2026 10:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

It's a cheer club - not gymnastics. There is literally nothing else offering the same service within 10 miles. I'm not knocking them by the way - I was otherwise happy outside of the handling of my concerns.

OP posts:
Albertsbridge · 13/02/2026 09:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Albertsbridge · 13/02/2026 09:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AbFab1231 · 13/02/2026 08:31

RandomMess · 12/02/2026 21:19

It should be very clear what you sign up to for the year and commitment required.

I assume they do try outs to see which team (s) the are in.

I can’t imagine them doing solos or stunt team and not changing routine between years!!

At one point my DD was in 3 teams, she’s competed in Summit & NCA in the US. They have a few teams at Worlds every year.

Actually both clubs have been very hot on safeguarding and athlete support and welfare. They have been supported families through all sorts of things, coercive relationships, parents with addiction issues, neglect, school bullying ignored by the school etc. That all goes on behind the scenes.

my research in the last few days has shown that the club I’m at is far smaller than almost every other cheer club it seems. I think the fact it is so small gets in the way of the professionalism of things. Also they aren’t accredited or with any bodies so they can pretty much just do what they like and don’t worry about accountability.

the places you’ve mentioned seem far more child impact led and focused which is good

OP posts:
RandomMess · 12/02/2026 21:19

It should be very clear what you sign up to for the year and commitment required.

I assume they do try outs to see which team (s) the are in.

I can’t imagine them doing solos or stunt team and not changing routine between years!!

At one point my DD was in 3 teams, she’s competed in Summit & NCA in the US. They have a few teams at Worlds every year.

Actually both clubs have been very hot on safeguarding and athlete support and welfare. They have been supported families through all sorts of things, coercive relationships, parents with addiction issues, neglect, school bullying ignored by the school etc. That all goes on behind the scenes.

AbFab1231 · 12/02/2026 21:08

NewYearSameYou · 12/02/2026 20:34

March seems quite late to be starting competing...

Ours did their showcase end of November and were at first competition following December weekend... Our schedule is insane from here on out..

That's really interesting actually - I thought two comps wasn't very much - but to be honest, we only ever do about 4 in a year which by the sounds of things is very very few compared to others. Really interesting getting the perspective of cheer mums not from our club as I don't think any of us in the club I was in really had a clue about the industry lol

OP posts:
Catrinka · 12/02/2026 21:02

My daughter is in a competitive cheer squad.

it’s very clear that this club owner does not have the kids interests at heart. To just drop them like that after years of dedication, and ostracise those whose parents are on payment plans? She’s doing it for the money and nothing else.

although my daughter is probably in a lower level than yours as only started a year ago, we pay around £70 a month to be on the team. Tumble classes (optional) are weekly and £35 a month. 1:1s (optional) £20 for 30 mins, discount for 2 kids together.
practice is twice a week (3 hours) The elite & international teams are 3 times a week I believe.
daughter has come on leaps and bounds since starting. Already completed 2 comps (Essex and Wembley) and have Birmingham next month, and another Birmingham later on too. The higher teams also have Bournemouth and some the summit in the US and Barcelona.
The coaches really do support the kids - it’s evident in all the comms and what I see at training & comps. They are role models.
Although costly, especially when factoring in the kit , spectator tickets and athlete entry fees, signing her up has been one of the best decisions we made.
So I really hope you find a new club!