DH doesn’t really have much of a relationship with his DM, or DB (low contact with both) and his DS lives over an hour away. Very different upbringing to me, and very different family dynamics. I come from a close knit family that bends over backwards to help each other, and am lucky they live more locally, and my DP help with childcare once a week.
We have 2 DS - DS1 is 2yo and DS2 is 3mo. DS2 is a reflux baby, so doesn’t tolerate being put down for very long, and while I can do certain things while baby wearing, there’s other things I can’t do while baby wearing like washing the dishes, carrying DS1, or changing DS1s nappy etc.
DH generally v hands on, deals with toddler bedtime, wakes him up in the morning and gets him ready before work etc which is great. DH hasn’t been out much socially from a month before I gave birth to DS2 (I was hospitalised with threatened pre term labour) and has had a few invites recently. With DS2 now being 3 months, by which point things should start to be easier, I feel like I should let him go and have some downtime/time with his friends. I know he’s also turned down a handful of social events in the last few months after DS2 was born. We’ve seen friends over the last few months, but we’ve usually had them round at ours as it easier with the little ones.
The issue is DS1 is at that age where someone needs to at least be keeping an eye on him, and he’s not old enough to do things independently, so looking after him is full on, and it’s hard with DS2 being a reflux baby to manage both on my own for more than an hour or 2, or at bedtime. So I’ve had my DP/DB/DS come over to give me a hand so DH can go out.
I don’t want to begrudge DH the occasional night out, attending his friends’ birthday drinks/evening out, but I’m starting to feel resentful that DH gets to go out and switch off only because I have my family around to support/help/come and spend time with the kids, whereas we have no support from his family.