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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the age of consent should be raised to 18 if there is a significant age gap?

159 replies

Waitingforthesunnydays · 08/02/2026 11:16

Watched a documentary recently where a 16-year-old girl was preyed on by a 24-year-old man online. He was controlling and abusive and convinced her to move hundreds of miles away from her family with him. Obviously, being 16, she thought she was in love and didn’t see the abuse for what it was. Her mum and the police could do nothing about it cos she was 16. Made me think, AIBU to think the age of consent should be 18 if one of the people involved is more than 4 or 5 years older than the other? Makes sense to me. Lots of 16 year olds are so naive and inexperienced and have no idea how to spot abusive behaviour. Many have a romanised idea of love and think the behaviour is a sign of being in love rather than control & abuse

OP posts:
Pollyanna87 · 08/02/2026 11:42

The age of consent should be 18 regardless.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 08/02/2026 11:32

Yanbu x

BillieWiper · 08/02/2026 11:31

Waitingforthesunnydays · 08/02/2026 11:23

Well in a situation I described at least, the man could be prosecuted and that would stop them being able to have a relationship- in the same way that an adult man who grooms a 15-year-old for sex online would be

I don't think the government want to add to the burden of the justice system in this way. Prisons are already full. It isn't workable anyway.

Just because that story had one person 8 years older who was a stalker. He should be done for that. And grooming if contact started under 16.

Either you can consent or not. You can't have a law that says you can consent to one person but not another based on their birth certificate.

Littlebitpsycho · 08/02/2026 11:29

I don't know...I was 17 when I met my exH and he was nearly 27. We were together 10 years, married for 4 and had a DD who is now 14. He wasn't abusive and I wasn't coerced.

I think there are just too many variables and 2 different rules makes it too complex. I wouldn't be averse to the age of consent being 18 but it would be completely impossible to enforce (as is the current 16 limit) so what's the point

Mithral · 08/02/2026 11:29

ValidPistachio · 08/02/2026 11:26

Totally unenforceable and unworkable.

Why anymore unenforceable than the current law? Other jurisdictions have this and it seems to work fine.

khaa2091 · 08/02/2026 11:28

So, ok to vote for political representation (I don’t actually agree with) but not to have intercourse or get married….

ValidPistachio · 08/02/2026 11:26

Totally unenforceable and unworkable.

Waitingforthesunnydays · 08/02/2026 11:23

BillieWiper · 08/02/2026 11:19

How could it be enforced?

Well in a situation I described at least, the man could be prosecuted and that would stop them being able to have a relationship- in the same way that an adult man who grooms a 15-year-old for sex online would be

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 08/02/2026 11:19

How could it be enforced?

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