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AIBU?

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Original poster

To just not understand why men are so lazy

30 replies

Eastie77Returns · 07/02/2026 22:02

I know, I know NAMALT but I don’t see the kind of behaviour I witnessed today from women.

I was in the gym restaurant with DS. Two men sitting next to us drinking tea. One of them dropped his cup and the tea went everywhere, all over the table and dripping on the floor. Both men laughed hysterically and the one who dropped the cup made a half hearted attempt to mop up some of it with a couple of tissues and then gave up and just carried on chatting. Meanwhile the tea is continuing to drip everywhere and there is a huge puddle under the table that he is placing his feet in leaving smears and mess everywhere. Eventually he takes a gym towel, puts it on the floor over the tea and puts his feet on top. When they had finished chatting both men got up and left, the sodden towel on the floor and the table in a disgusting sticky mess. Felt so bad for the cafe staff and I helped clear up (while conscious I am not sending a good message to DS re. women clearing up after men). I just find it infuriating!

OP posts:
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lhsf844 · 28/05/2026 19:26

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Everyone is calm here dear, except the man who hasn’t seen how old this thread is, any chance to put women in their place eh.

MySpunkyGoldFawn · 28/05/2026 19:18

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JillThePlantKiller · 27/05/2026 16:09

There are quite a few areas where men out perform women in awfulness but I’m not sure that cafe slob is one of them, judging by the messes left behind by the mums with babies.

BertieBotts · 27/05/2026 16:05

I think it does not occur to them that somebody else will have to do the labour of cleaning up. Or if it does they just think it's somebody's job so it's fine for them to have to do it.

It's true it's not unique to men but there are a lot more men than women who are like this. Essentially I think it's a sign that someone has never been expected to pitch in generally with jobs like cleaning, or has always had someone cleaning up after them so they haven't developed the skill for anticipating that whatever they are doing is going to cause a problem. Children don't have this for example but most adults do develop it.

Nogimachi · 27/05/2026 15:48

Zov · 07/02/2026 22:18

I blame the mothers in most cases. Many women favour the sons, and think the sun shines out of their arse. They never have to lift a finger in the house, whilst the daughters are treated like skivvies. So the sons grow up entitled and lazy and thinking all women should wait on them hand and foot.

And yes, most men ARE lazy and entitled.

Awaits the 'Not My Nigels,' and the tedious and predictable 'you need to get better men in your life' comments. Wink

Unfortunately, I think you are right. I would prefer that we blame the parents rather than just the mothers, but it is probably more the mothers since up till about the last ten years mothers routinely did most of the care.
I will say my MIL did a fantastic job with DH so it is not all mothers and men at all.

Nature1nurture · 10/02/2026 16:04

And who is it throwing beer bottles & cans out of their vehicle windows into hedgerows & grass verges, polluting the environment & making us all live in a rubbish dump?

FlowerFairyDaisy · 10/02/2026 16:01

You only need visit a soft play area at 5pm to see quite clearly that some men and women possess no manners or common courtesy at all.

Isthateveryonethen · 10/02/2026 15:53

only men really? The amount of times I’ve seen women with little kids who left a disgusting mess at a restaurant or coffee shop and walked off.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 10/02/2026 15:53

My boyfriend is the opposite of lazy.

Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 10/02/2026 15:51

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 09/02/2026 20:26

So threads from women on Mumsnet saying that men are shit should be seen as accurately representing reality, and threads on Mumsnet from women saying that not all men are shit should be dismissed as coming from "handmaidens"?

My issue is with threads and women that distort reality by pretending men are not mostly responsible for certain types of behaviour.

Not all men are rapists but virtually all rapists are men. That is not the same as saying all men are shit. It’s about recognising the threat men pose without dismissing it “because my Nigel wouldn’t do that”

The childcare thread is ridiculous with people disputing actual data that shows the vast majority of sexual abusers in nurseries are men and police reports highlighting groups on the dark net that coach sexual offenders on how to get jobs with small children and avoid detection after abusing them. The handmaidens are conflating that with studies showing women suffering from poor mental health are more likely to harm a baby.

The fact they cannot distinguish between a paedophile and a mentally unwell new mum is very disturbing.

OP posts:
Zov · 09/02/2026 20:27

@GasperyJacquesRoberts

Pretty much nailed it there yes. ^

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 09/02/2026 20:26

So threads from women on Mumsnet saying that men are shit should be seen as accurately representing reality, and threads on Mumsnet from women saying that not all men are shit should be dismissed as coming from "handmaidens"?

Zov · 09/02/2026 20:26

100% agree @Eastie77Returns 👏

Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 09/02/2026 20:17

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 08/02/2026 13:10

In my experience your story about the behaviour of men is also the exception rather than the rule.

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It’s really not that uncommon for men to behave like this. See the multiple threads on here from women whose husbands have come home drunk and shat the bed, peed on the floor, leave crap and mess laying around for wives to pick up. Women just don’t usually do that. We are socialised to behave differently.

The “my DH doesn’t do that so most other men don’t either” is quite tiresome. There’s a thread at the moment about yet another male nursery worker who has been caught sexually abusing babies and the handmaidens are out in force “but women are sexual abusers too”. In perhaps 1% of cases! But still…NAMALT.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 08/02/2026 13:20

They sound like entitled wankers...to be fair I've seen plenty of women leave table in cafes in a total state.

Netcurtainnelly · 08/02/2026 13:16

My mans not lazy. You are stereotyping. Stop.

InterestedDad37 · 08/02/2026 13:12

It was a couple of ignorant slobs. That's who it was. They were representative of themselves.

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 08/02/2026 13:10

Eastie77Returns · 07/02/2026 22:53

In my experience this kind of thing is the exception rather than the rule with women

Show quote history

In my experience your story about the behaviour of men is also the exception rather than the rule.

Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 07/02/2026 22:58

The women’s toilets in my gym and the ones at work are almost always clean.

I’ve heard several men say the loos at their place of work are disgusting, friends with sons say they won’t use the toilets at school. I don’t hear this as much from women.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 07/02/2026 22:53

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 07/02/2026 22:26

I saw a woman let her kids leave a restaurant table absolutely destroyed with food and drink spread everywhere - across the table, on the seats and on the floor.

AIBU to just not understand why women are so lazy?

In my experience this kind of thing is the exception rather than the rule with women

OP posts:
Sofado · 07/02/2026 22:33

I don’t know any men who would do this. They would clean up.

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 07/02/2026 22:26

I saw a woman let her kids leave a restaurant table absolutely destroyed with food and drink spread everywhere - across the table, on the seats and on the floor.

AIBU to just not understand why women are so lazy?

Morepositivemum · 07/02/2026 22:25

Women ARE as bad, you should see our women’s loos and changing rooms in work! People spill things and leave them, leave rubbish on the ground (there’s a bin), the toilets have per on the seats and aren’t flushed, toilet paper on the ground, food wrappers on floor … it goes on and in. Worst thing is people have heard a few times ‘but the cleaner will be in’

Bryonny84 · 07/02/2026 22:22

Yes, most of the men I know are like this to some degree. My own DP, makes a cup of tea, slops it everywhere, all down the units and on the floor. Makes a sandwich, it's an explosion in a crumb factory. If I point out the mess DP will go and clean it but many men just don't see mess IMO and yes, they are lazy.

SomeoneCalled · 07/02/2026 22:21

This is weird. I work with labourers and they are the most hard working, gentlemanly and helpful men - depends where destiny sent you

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