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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I mean to neighbour?

137 replies

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 11:25

So my next door neighbour has pretty much excluded me since I moved here.

Has mums parties with the other mums on the estate, has a WhatsApp group chat with them etc.
Me and my other neighbour were not invited to join but we know about it from the other neighbours.
From what I hear the other mums have now distanced themselves from her now.

I don't know why as I would take her deliveries in for her when she was at work and was always friendly to her.

Since I found out about the group and about the things she said about me I began refusing her deliveries. She would ignore me (would say hello before) but would always say hello to OH if she saw him.

Suites me fine as as I found her quite intrusive to be honest.

Anyway a note was slipped through the door at 10pm on Wednesday night.

Her and her toddler were ill and would be going to her parents early Thursday morning to recover and wanted me to accept a delivery which was too late to re arrange.

Of course when the delivery came I didn't bother opening the door and it was a large delivery too.

My OH thinks I did the right thing as he knows what she has been like.

I do feel a bit bad was I mean to do this?
Im not a nasty person and usually do help neighbours if they are nice to me but she has cold for no reason.

OP posts:
AnybodyAnywhere · 07/02/2026 12:55

You weren’t mean but I usually take the ‘higher ground’ … it always gives you an advantage 😉

Soontobe60 · 07/02/2026 12:52

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 11:58

@mondaytosundayif had bothered to read the post correctly you would see that she had created a WhatsApp mums group for all the mums in our street and didn't invite me whilst I was taking in her parcels.

I stopped helping her after this.

And the delivery wasn't just a small package, it was a large mirror or something, and it would just be sat in my hallway, bearing in mind I have 2 young DC.

Honestly, you sound a bit childish!

ilovesooty · 07/02/2026 12:51

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 12:24

From what I have heard the other neighbours have began distancing themselves from her.

She did ask her other next door neighbour but she refused as well, and they were quite close before.

I think what annoys people is how she talks about everyone and stirs, she doesn't really have social awareness and it rubs people up the wrong way.

I have seen the same mum's on our street who would speak to before actively ignore her and walk off so it's not just me.

So you're talking about her with other neighbours?

ilovesooty · 07/02/2026 12:48

Raindancer411 · 07/02/2026 11:47

If she asks I would just say “oh sorry we had to nip out, it must have been then”

Why does she need to lie? She can just tell her neighbour she won't help her out because she doesn't like her behaviour. If she's unneighbourly the OP can tell her that she's not going to extend neighbourly gestures.

DragonsAndDaffs · 07/02/2026 12:46

I would have taken in the parcel on this occasion.

ilovesooty · 07/02/2026 12:46

SparklyGlitterballs · 07/02/2026 11:44

YANBU. You can't exclude people and then expect them to help you. To drop a note at 10pm for a delivery early Thursday morning was very presumptive of her. She should have asked earlier, and in person, not make an assumption about your availability.

Yes I agree with that, unless the family illness was very unexpected.

ilovesooty · 07/02/2026 12:45

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 11:43

When I would speak to her she would ask a lot of personal questions and talk about other neighbours business.

She started a neighbourhood WhatsApp group and didn't invite me.

She has not even said hello to me in months and usually ignores so I didn't see why I should help her when it suits her.

Tell her that's why you aren't willing to help her out then.

Christmasinmecar · 07/02/2026 12:45

mondaytosunday · 07/02/2026 11:55

Wow. Someone is ill and asks a favour - which would require you to simply open the door, and you don’t do it? I don’t care if she hasn’t invited you around (since when do we have to include people we don’t know to social occasions)? She sure won’t be asking you now. Glad you’re not my neighbour.

I expect OP is glad she's not going to be asked now. I know I would.

Snaletrale · 07/02/2026 12:43

What a shame you were out when it was delivered…

Original poster
cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 12:39

Sorry I also forgot to mention that she also called the neighbourhood police officer on another neighbour a few Mormons back

She had reported the mother for her son playing on a hoover board and a scooter (not an e scooter).

The kid never used to play on the hoover board on the street but in their garden, I think this really out of order as it made the boy cry as he got scared.

Nothing came of it but its still a mean thing to do, so she isn't very neighbourly at all doing things like that.

OP posts:
NovemberMorn · 07/02/2026 12:32

I don't think you were mean or unreasonable, you made a decision based on the way she has treated you in the past.

In the same circumstances I would have taken her parcel in as it wasn't inconveniencing me, but we are all different.

rainbowstardrops · 07/02/2026 12:30

If she was friendly to you and at least said hello then I would have probably taken it in but she cat blow hot and cold when it suits her.
Im not overly friendly with my neighbours, just a quick hello and a wave but if they blanked me then I wouldn’t take their parcels in either!

Abouttoblow · 07/02/2026 12:29

OneOfEachPlease · 07/02/2026 11:50

To be honest, I think this was a bit mean-spirited. I take stuff in for neighbours. Isn’t that just what you do? I don’t really know why you need a quid pro quo for everything.

Why on earth would anyone take in deliveries for some who ignores them?

What would your response be if the OP had said:
"I don't like one of my neighbours so I excluded her from the neighbour group chat and I don't speak to her when I see her. She's started refusing to take in deliveries for me. Is she BU?

Anewsyrup · 07/02/2026 12:28

You have written about this neighbour loads under different names. If I recall correctly on your last thread - following your follow up posts, the consensus was you are green with envy about how popular and involved this neighbour is

Friendlygingercat · 07/02/2026 12:26

Op has already stated that she took in parcels for her neighbour in the past but the NDN responded to this kindness by excluding her from a chat group. Personally I would have asked to join if it was important to me and waited to see what she said. It sounds like the NDN wears her way through friends as a speed of knots.

Original poster
cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 12:24

From what I have heard the other neighbours have began distancing themselves from her.

She did ask her other next door neighbour but she refused as well, and they were quite close before.

I think what annoys people is how she talks about everyone and stirs, she doesn't really have social awareness and it rubs people up the wrong way.

I have seen the same mum's on our street who would speak to before actively ignore her and walk off so it's not just me.

OP posts:
FasterMichelin · 07/02/2026 12:23

She sounds like an idiot. Try to ignore her and you’re right to refuse her deliveries.

Ewock · 07/02/2026 12:23

Catapultaway · 07/02/2026 12:07

Honestly, you can be neighbourly without being friends. She clearly doesnt see you as being a friend but just a neighbour, thats fine. Im good friends with one of my neighbours and we regularly go for coffees and go out together, to each others houses. The other neighbour i am neighbourly with, we get on fine, we say hello have idle chat, but we are not friends.
If she threw her toys out of the pram and wouldnt take in a parcel because i was friends with another neighbour it would make me chuckle a little at the pettiness. But if it makes you feel better then go for it.

Show quote history

Of course you can be neighbourly without being friends. But the ops neighbour purposefully ignores her, so why on earth should she then be expected to take in a parcel. You get what you give. By ignoring her the neighbour has now set the level of their behaviour as neighbours therefore she has formatted any neighbourly behaviour.

You dont get to ignore people and then benefit from their kindness.

Sandunesandseashells · 07/02/2026 12:21

If she mentioned it, I would say I assumed the note was for my husband and left it somewhere he would see it, no idea what happened next.

gtamum · 07/02/2026 12:19

What things has she said about you?

Brewtiful · 07/02/2026 12:16

CelticSilver · 07/02/2026 12:13

Overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21)

Some people are takers no amount of killing them with kindness will make them a nicer, less selfish person. All that will happen is she will continue to expect the OP to be her general dogs body.

CelticSilver · 07/02/2026 12:13

Overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21)

Catapultaway · 07/02/2026 12:07

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 11:58

@mondaytosundayif had bothered to read the post correctly you would see that she had created a WhatsApp mums group for all the mums in our street and didn't invite me whilst I was taking in her parcels.

I stopped helping her after this.

And the delivery wasn't just a small package, it was a large mirror or something, and it would just be sat in my hallway, bearing in mind I have 2 young DC.

Honestly, you can be neighbourly without being friends. She clearly doesnt see you as being a friend but just a neighbour, thats fine. Im good friends with one of my neighbours and we regularly go for coffees and go out together, to each others houses. The other neighbour i am neighbourly with, we get on fine, we say hello have idle chat, but we are not friends.
If she threw her toys out of the pram and wouldnt take in a parcel because i was friends with another neighbour it would make me chuckle a little at the pettiness. But if it makes you feel better then go for it.

Brewtiful · 07/02/2026 12:02

Honestly no I don't think it's mean. So what if all you had to do was open the door, she's been nothing but rude to you, talked about you behind your back and yet she expects you to be a doormat and do her favours. If she's so popular she could have asked someone else to accept it.

Original poster
cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 11:58

@mondaytosundayif had bothered to read the post correctly you would see that she had created a WhatsApp mums group for all the mums in our street and didn't invite me whilst I was taking in her parcels.

I stopped helping her after this.

And the delivery wasn't just a small package, it was a large mirror or something, and it would just be sat in my hallway, bearing in mind I have 2 young DC.

OP posts:
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