Was I mean to neighbour?

Is this the same neighbour of the doorbell cam saga?. I thought you were moving?

She couldn't even be bothered to ask you in person. That's bad manners.

You did nothing wrong.

I'm surprised at how many posters on here think someone should be the bigger person, is it an extension of the be kind nonsense?

If someone treats you like shit why should you be nice and do them favours. It doesn't make you a worse person...it makes you someone who has got boundaries and doesn't tolerate that kind of behaviour.

A fine example of reaping what you sow.
Your neighbour sowed and now she is reaping.
Don't give her another thought

How was the note worded? If it was 'so sorry but need to ask a favour. Could you take in a delivery for me? I would be so grateful. Thank you' I might take the higher ground but if it was 'having a delivery but need to go to my mums as ill so it will be coming to you' I wouldn't.

It was mean spirited and petty. You should have risen above it.
You don't have to be her best friend but it would be better to maintain the moral high ground

I think you have dodged a bullet with her and in your place I would maintain distance.
I certainly wouldn't be taking in any parcel.
She may well try to increase contact now that she has burnt other bridges, but I wouldn't engage with her at all.

I think if she isn’t a friend and actually ignores you then you don’t owe her any favours. YANBU

Basically yes!

Interesting. It does sound a bit childish really.

There are mums in my street and one of them her DH was best friends with another’s DH. This one mum was either shy or not friendly and she was called Amanda (Motherland) but the other mums. Then sadly her DH ended his life and the best friend and his family (who moved abroad) pay for her and her DC to go skiing with them every year.

I’m quite lucky as I have no children so never needed to see the mums apart from when we all went out fairly regularly. I can see if you have to see them at the school gate, play dates and so on it could get awkward.

I don’t like bitchiness though. It’s childish.

Grow up

But that’s nothing at all to do with you. You’re just using it as an excuse to paint her as badly as possible to justify not taking in her parcel.

I don’t see either why you feel entitled to her friendship. Neighbours don’t have to befriend one another. People are entitled to only socialise with people they like. I loathe our next door neighbours but we’ve engaged about hedges etc. I’ve taken in a parcel for a family two doors down who have been markedly unfriendly for some time, probably because of our next door neighbours getting to them. I’d distinguish normal neighbourliness from liking.

Absolutely.

You’ve posted about this woman before. You seem a bit obsessed with her to be honest.

At first I was going to say I wouldn’t want to be part of a group that operates like a bunch of mean girl school kids.

You sound a bit intrusive yourself. For someone who says she gossips and just talks about the neighbours a lot, you seem to be doing the same, with your “from what I’ve heard” and then giving info about other women on your estate and what they are doing, it sounds like you’re seeing at a popularity contest and you contradict yourself, you say they ignore you but then say you know people don’t like her. Why do you care?

Well, you can 'go high' but I always say that people behave this way because they get away with it, so if it were me (and I do understand that many people wouldn't want to do this), if she asks why you didn't take it, just tell the truth. Doesn't have to be a confrontation, just a simple "You exclude me and don't interact with me so I chose not to". She either apologises and you build a relationship (if you want to) or she knows that there is no relationship and therefore no favours.

Opening a door for a delivery is hardly bending over backwards is it? Helping someone out is hardly being a doormat.

The OP is basically saying 'you ignored me so I wont help you.' Its petty AF. Even my 7 year old is more grown up than that.

It's not about caring about being on the WhatsApp group though is it, it's about being one of only a few deliberately left out of it.

As for ignoring her it's hardly a one time thing, she's not even said hi to the OP in months.

I wouldn't expect my child to tolerate this behaviour and bend over backwards doing favours for someone who acted like this towards them. It's ok not to be a doormat and accept someone's behaviour.

I'd probably have taken it in if it was practicable to do so, but if I felt like the OP does I'd at least summon up some backbone and tell her why I wasn't prepared to.

I wouldn't give a care at all being not on a WhatsApp group. If a neighbor ignored me in the street I'd assume theyre having a bad day and its a them issue, not about me.
I regularly take packages for neighbors with whom I wouldn't be friends with. Theyre neighbors. Its no big deal.
This is unnecessary drama.

Yeah just don't then. But try not to let it get to you. Just forget she exists.

So you do favours for people who are unkind to you, actively excluded you, blank you and talk about you behind your back? You're a better person than most if so.

The OP doesn't care I suspect if they are best friends but you can't treat someone like the neighbour has and then expect someone to do you favours.

Not mean at all. She’s ignored you for months so can’t expect favours after being rude.

You sound petty AF.

She doesn't owe you a friendship or vv. Its not exclusion. This isnt reception.

I'd have just taken the package if I was in and not if not. Its no big deal. You're neighbour's not 6 year olds in the playground.