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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I mean to neighbour?

137 replies

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 11:25

So my next door neighbour has pretty much excluded me since I moved here.

Has mums parties with the other mums on the estate, has a WhatsApp group chat with them etc.
Me and my other neighbour were not invited to join but we know about it from the other neighbours.
From what I hear the other mums have now distanced themselves from her now.

I don't know why as I would take her deliveries in for her when she was at work and was always friendly to her.

Since I found out about the group and about the things she said about me I began refusing her deliveries. She would ignore me (would say hello before) but would always say hello to OH if she saw him.

Suites me fine as as I found her quite intrusive to be honest.

Anyway a note was slipped through the door at 10pm on Wednesday night.

Her and her toddler were ill and would be going to her parents early Thursday morning to recover and wanted me to accept a delivery which was too late to re arrange.

Of course when the delivery came I didn't bother opening the door and it was a large delivery too.

My OH thinks I did the right thing as he knows what she has been like.

I do feel a bit bad was I mean to do this?
Im not a nasty person and usually do help neighbours if they are nice to me but she has cold for no reason.

OP posts:

Duvetdayneeded · 07/02/2026 21:57

She’s a cheeky cow! If she says anything just say you were out or in meetings.

Original poster

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 21:53

@LoveWine123im not really sure why you think im obsessed with her?

She is the one who wrote us a note asking us to accept delivery of her parcel, we leave her alone and don't wish to interact with her at all.

It was mainly all the mothers on the estate (including her) who were the busybodies and talking about everyone's business and it was only after a few incidents that the WhatsApp group disbanded.

I only know this from a neighbour who heard all this from one of the mothers in the group, I didn't ask but as she is my neighbour and made everyone aware I had declined her parcel they thought it was amusing to mention all of this to me.

OP posts:

LoveWine123 · 07/02/2026 21:46

She sounds nuts but you don’t sound much better to be honest. Your whole estate sounds like it’s full of busybodies, you all talk behind people’s backs. The more you post, the more obsessed you seem with her. I wouldn’t like to live on this estate.

Original poster

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 21:23

When I first stopped taking in her parcels she would
slam her front door so hard first thing in the morning at 6:30am when she would be going to work and it would literally vibrate our whole house.

I don't think she fancies or likes my OH, as they have never really spoken and she has a boyfriend.
It is always just a quick hello.

She will also walk up by our front door and start looking into our Ringdoor with a menacing look, she is actually a very strange person.

Sometimes her and her boyfriend will also put on music really loud at night (10pm/11pm) to antagonise us, this is with her own child is asleep.

If she does ask why I refused her delivery I will mention the reasons.

OP posts:

Sartre · 07/02/2026 17:47

If she greets your OH but ignores you, is she jealous in some way/fancies your OH? Either way, she sounds a bit odd.

Tollington · 07/02/2026 17:43

I treat people how they treat me. Ignore her, she’s not a nice person

ilovesooty · 07/02/2026 17:33

Iloveacurry · 07/02/2026 15:14

She doesn’t sound very nice. If she asks about the delivery, just say you were out most of the day!

Another one who seems to think it's impossible to tell the neighbour exactly why her request wasn't accommodated.

Bellyblueboy · 07/02/2026 15:42

Your neighbourhood sounds horrendous!

I have to say it does seem petty not to take in a parcel when they were sick. While she sounds like a petty idiot, I couldn’t stoop to her level.

would you honestly want to be in her Whatapp group? It sounds like absolute hell.

WildFlowerBees · 07/02/2026 15:17

I don’t think you’ve been mean, I personally wouldn’t have anything to do with someone who likes to gossip about others, what’s the saying those who gossip to you gossip about you. I think this will have happily cut all ties so you can get on with not having to speak to her again.

Some people will take the moral high ground and do as she asked I’m a believer in boundaries. If she doesn’t like the consequences of the boundaries you’ve set based on her behaviour that’s for her to deal with. Give it no more thought.

Iloveacurry · 07/02/2026 15:14

She doesn’t sound very nice. If she asks about the delivery, just say you were out most of the day!

HelplessSoul · 07/02/2026 15:08

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 14:04

The note was worded as

"Me and Jack are seriously not well, going to my parents tomorrow until weekend. Unable to re arrange delivery so I have re arranged delivery to yours as nobody else is able to accommodate. Will also leave a note on my own door" Thanks

And how would I have known the time slot of the delivery? She would of expected me to wait in, when the delivery came I was actually getting DC ready to go out so I wouldn't of been able to stop changing my baby just for her delivery, and it was a large delivery as well like mirror or something.

Your NDN is a colossal fucking cunt.

You did the right not bothering to open the door for her delivery.

She can get to fuck.

PinkyFlamingo · 07/02/2026 15:08

BendSinister · 07/02/2026 14:43

But if it only occurred to her at 10 pm at night, I doubt the OP would have been thrilled with a knock on her door.

Show quote history

But why on earth would you assume someone would be willing to stay in for your delivery without asking? I wouldnt even do that to someone who was talking to me, never mind someone that isn't

Hollyhobbi · 07/02/2026 15:02

Can’t be that seriously ill if she’s able to drop round notes and get herself over to her mothers house!!

Original poster

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 14:55

That is funny, but I think you maybe confused.

Its not a Facebook group, it's a WhatsApp group for the mothers here.

The neighbour isn't sociable with the members of the group anymore.
She is well known here but because she falls out with people all the time for stuff mentioned in my post.

OP posts:

Anewsyrup · 07/02/2026 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MargaretThursday · 07/02/2026 14:51

Notsosweetcaroline · 07/02/2026 11:44

Hmm. Not sure, you say she has parties with the other mums and excludes you. Could she just be having parties with her friends, people she’s known for some time, and doesn’t know you, that it’s not you’re entitled to go and join her social circle by proximity? Also how can she be intrusive and exclusive.

And the WhatsApp group is probably not a neighbourhood one so much as "mums who have been friends for ages". They may well have titled it "Leckford Road Mums" because that's how they met, but it's not more than a convenient way of distinguishing it from other groups.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 07/02/2026 14:50

You have a neighbourhood police officer 😮where do you live?

Mydogisagentleman · 07/02/2026 14:47

It's all very Amandaland

BendSinister · 07/02/2026 14:43

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 07/02/2026 14:05

She couldn't even be bothered to ask you in person. That's bad manners.

You did nothing wrong.

But if it only occurred to her at 10 pm at night, I doubt the OP would have been thrilled with a knock on her door.

OriginalUsername2 · 07/02/2026 14:41

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 14:04

The note was worded as

She should have knocked and asked if anything.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 07/02/2026 14:40

cadburysbunny · 07/02/2026 11:58

@mondaytosundayif had bothered to read the post correctly you would see that she had created a WhatsApp mums group for all the mums in our street and didn't invite me whilst I was taking in her parcels.

I stopped helping her after this.

And the delivery wasn't just a small package, it was a large mirror or something, and it would just be sat in my hallway, bearing in mind I have 2 young DC.

I don't think you were mean and I'd have done the same thing.

But seriously stop giving this WhatsApp group thing any headspace. You are not a high school anymore, there is nothing you can do about it and so let it go.

OriginalUsername2 · 07/02/2026 14:40

Brewtiful · 07/02/2026 14:05

I'm surprised at how many posters on here think someone should be the bigger person, is it an extension of the be kind nonsense?

If someone treats you like shit why should you be nice and do them favours. It doesn't make you a worse person...it makes you someone who has got boundaries and doesn't tolerate that kind of behaviour.

Exactly. If you carry on being the nice guy you’re just showing the person you don’t require any respect and can be walked all over.

Yellowhair · 07/02/2026 14:39

Cheeky cow. I’d have ignored the door. But I do have a really horrible ndn.

Badlands1 · 07/02/2026 14:15

@Dollymylove
There was no need to hang around waiting. The bell rang when the OP was in. I wouldn't have waited in or gone out of my way to be helpful but equally I wouldn't ignore the bell for some petty 'win'.

Dollymylove · 07/02/2026 14:09

@cadburysbunny no way on God's earth would i be hanging around all day waiting for a CFs delivery. A CF who has treated me like a bad smell. What if the item was last on the list at 6pm?
Illness or no illness, int ain't your problem

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