Was I mean to neighbour?

She can't rearrange the delivery date but can rearrange the delivery address?
No. She's a piss-taker.

You have posted before. You don’t like it that this woman has friends. You expect her to include you yet you have not invited her to anything. You seem to be making up stories about other people not liking her to justify your own bitterness. If she is as bad as you say someone else would have made another what’s app and included you.

A neighbour fell out with me when I told her to take down the instructions in her window saying 'if we’re aren’t in for the daily parcels we order, deliver to boardwalk as she’s just WFH and doing nothing' or words to that effect

she had a go at me when I refused to take any more parcels for her

you did absolutely the right thing. Tell her to do one

What goes around, comes around.

She can't have it both ways. Excluding you and freezing you out, and then asking for favours - at night time, no less.
I used to take in parcels for both my neighbours all the time. Every house I've lived in. However, my current estate is something else for sense of entitlement.

I always used to take in parcels in for the alcoholic woman on one side of me. However, she does nothing but blast loud music all day. She keeps the most odd hours, and constantly parties at home. Never goes out to pubs or clubs. Does it all at home. She is VERY loud. Last year my partner texted her to ask really nicely to please keep it down, we don't mind once in a while, but that this was 20 hours out of 24 of thumping dance music. She responded by telling him to fuck off, call the police then, see how far you get, "we ain't under a curfew here, luv", you get the picture.

I inadvertently took a parcel in for her the other day - I was taking in my own from the courier when he said "she's not in, could you just take it in for her?" so it was impossible to say no. And yep she didn't come to collect it. She and her two daughters shortly returned home and 24 hours later this huge box was still in our porch.

Partner eventually took it round. I will never help that woman again after how she talked to us. I will treat her exactly as she treated and spoke to me.

The AUDACITY of ignoring you, blanking you, whatever and then slipping a note under your door asking for a favour. The mind boggles. Doesn’t even have the self awareness or balls to ring your bell, apologise and ask properly. Cheeky cunt. Mind you, it makes it easier on you to ignore both her and her delivery.

YANBU.
She sounds like a brass-necked cheeky cow, who wants her cake and eat it! 😠 😡 😤
So all the benefits of kind neighbours, but non of the actual work of being neighbourly on her own part?
Fuck her right off, she's a cunt fuck. 👎
I would be tempted to move house tbh, but thats just me... 😬

Do you maybe think you came across as not wanting to be friends? You can be neighbourly without being friends.

I think there is no right or wrong here. Not unreasonable but then if she is poorly & can’t rearrange then I probably would have taken it in as a one off cos like you I would have also felt guilty over it

When did stading up for yourself make you a loser?
I think we've found the ops neighbour!

She didn't ask you to take in her parcel, OP, she told you in her note that she had arranged for it to come to your house. As you said, she gave no indication of the time it might arrive. You say you don't have each other's phone numbers so she couldn't even message with a 2 hour slot.

She's a rude & cheeky mare.

My only thought to this thread was wondering if it's outing? The details are quite specific. But, not my circus not my monkeys 🐒

I don't think you should have been a "bigger person" she could rearrange a delivery to be delivered to your house but not for a different day?

Then she expected you to store her large item until she got back at the weekend?

I'd just tell her you were out when the delivery arrived, or that you couldn't get to the door. Telling her you didn't bother because of x y and z will just cause even more trouble. If she was expecting a delivery then she should have waited for it before leaving for her parents. She can't have been that ill if she was able to drive/travel.

She's a proper fucking drama queen!

Talk about unhinged.

The OP stands up for herself and is somehow a loser?

Makes me wonder whether you have even read the thread, unless you are the OP's NDN? 🤦‍♂️🙄

@cadburysbunny - you've done the right thing here. Fuck your NDN who is nothing but a cunt.

She didn't even say 'I hope thats okay ' or 'please ', sod her and her mirror. You reap what you sow.

You sound like an absolute loser obsessed with popularity and being a huge gossip. Just grow up and get a grip.

Doesn't sound like a very nice estate to live on. I could not be arsed with giving this kind of stuff head space.

This
Don’t agree with the ‘match energy’ thing. Just because she’s a dick doesn’t mean you have to be. She’s also not obliged to be your friend. So what if she hit it off with other women on your street? You can still be a good neighbour without being friends.

You sound quite childish

Maybe her slamming the door early morning and playing loud music at night isn't her doing it to annoy you, perhaps she is just unaware that she is a nuisance.
It seems odd if she has a little one, that she would deliberately turn her music up at 11pm, just to get one over on you.

Did you want to go to the "mums parties"? What kind of event are we talking about - drinks parties in the evening in her home?

It sounds like you don't have much in common with her, so I am not sure you were missing much by not going.

Same with her WhatsApp chat group - if you don't enjoy the same kind of chat (she sounds a bit gossipy from the way you describe her, and you say you are not like that) then I don't think you are missing out by not being included.

I guess to me that wouldn't have an impact on whether I would do normal neighbourly stuff for people like taking in deliveries. My neighbours are personal friends in the sense we don't socialise together, but I am always happy to help them out and vice versa.

Sounds like she was hurt when you stopped taking her parcels, and that's why she stopped chatting to you when you saw her. I do kind of get that.

And given this, the fact that she asked you to take the food delivery implies, I guess, that she was genuinely pretty desperate? So I guess she and her son must be really poorly.

Anyway, taking in a large food delivery IS a fairly big ask, as if there was chilled and frozen stuff you would have to accommodate it in your fridge/freezer - I would struggle to fit it in mine, personally. So I think it's fine to say no if you couldn't do it.

I assume you let her know you wouldn't be able to, to give her the chance to find someone else to take it? Assuming you have her number.

If you have her number and DIDN'T text her to let her know, I think that would be quite spiteful.

Other than that, fair enough. But I would honestly stop stressing about the parties etc. Who wants to go to the parties of someone they don't get on with socially?

And if I were you I would take in her parcels, when it was convenient to do so. Because you never know when you may need help from a neighbour yourself. I've helped our, and been helped out by, neighbours in really tricky circumstances in the past (elderly relative needing rushed to hospital in a snowstorm and I had no childcare, is one example that stands out). That has really taught me the value of keeping neighbours inside, even if they aren't people I would choose to hang out with in my free time ordinarily!

You did fine. I don’t bother taking parcels in at all now. If they aren’t there for a delivery, it’s not my problem.