AIBU to give up an £80,000 job to work part time school hours?

I did it, but still have a good career. Flexi time, part time, good sick leave and maternity and pension. Interesting job. Next to no pressure. Public sector
Pay is rubbish, but I am only contracted to work 25 hours. Every time I think of increasing it, another family disaster happens.

But would it be easier trying to hold down a full time job with 2 children and do everything at home on top of that in this scenario.

Neither scenario is ideal. Therefore the DH needs to adapt his work. It shouldn’t all be on the OP to be juggling all this whilst he gets to opt out of parenting with a lesser paying job.

Agree with this and it wouldn’t wash the other way around. So the man was high earning and the women less so but her job dictated the man did all the pick ups and drop offs. I don’t think so.

Your DH needs to do more. I don’t think this has been covered enough. It’s all very well saying - stay full time with 2 tiny kids. But with a DH
not pulling his weight and proposing 3.nights away each week. The OP will be doing everything. How is that fair or healthy?

I wouldn’t. Being at home with 2 small children isnt easy and add to that a partner that would need to be out of the home long hours and away some of the week. Nah. Resentment builds pretty quickly and a gap on the CV or even a step down doesn’t look good. You think you could walk back into a job no problem, but actually who knows?

I went part-time at my current job. I have been able to change my hours up and down as my child’s needs changed. My salary just adjusts proportionally.

we used holiday clubs during school breaks. You just have to mentally amortize the cost over the whole year.

The only thing is say is, don't look at Bath. It's expensive.

I gave up a highly paid job because I didn't enjoy it.

Just be careful not to assume that lower paid jobs are easier to get though - they're often more competitive as more people can do them. Especially ones that work around children.

Thing is OP will you get the lower paid role? The UK job market is the worst I've ever seen it right now, and I have a lot of experience in this as someone who generally works contracts. I'm seeing senior, accomplished people with stellar CVs unable to find a job. Not the job they want - just, a job. There are lots of factors at play that would be a blog post if I started on it here but I'm inclined to say that at this time, if you are in a well paid and relatively flexible role you should hold onto it.

Would you be able to go part time in your current job and work term time only for work life balance?

Your kids would probably benefit even more by you earning that money so they can get on the property ladder one day, with a little help from you!
Could you take an extended maternity leave. Or a mat leave followed by sabbatical.. so you don’t have to rush back. But honestly WFH 3 days, you’ll see them plenty. And you can give them better opportunities as they grow up if you’re a high earner especially if DH isn’t.

School hours sound perfect but what it actually means is you can take no other time off. I lost both my parents very close together. My DM was taken ill on a Sunday I was called at school on the Monday to say she was dying left school and went to the hospital. She died at midday that
day. I contacted school and told them and had a call On the Wednesday asking me to be in at work on the Thursday. My DF was also in hospital during this time. He came to live with
me and lasted three weeks until he died. Fortunately this was during the holidays. I handed in my notice as I knew there was no way I could work, arrange a funeral and sort my parents affairs without taking time off work which I knew would be denied.

So in summary working school hours only isn’t always as good as it sounds.

Valid point. Is he planning on accelerating his career with good (and realistic) for significant salary gains ?

I have inadvertently found myself in a similar position only my partner and were on similar fte incomes and we have gone down to just his salary. Just over a year ago I was working in a professional career on an 80% contract (32h, 4days a week). I WFH 3 days a week and had 1 day in the office. my daughter started school and I was looking at increasing back up to full time and working towards my next promotion in a career that took 10 years to qualify for.

My daughter had managed nursery really well and didn't anticipate issues with starting school. That didn't go to plan and she found the transition to school difficult so staying at 80% made sense and my partner and I rejigged our working patterns so that we didn't need breakfast club and enlisted grandparents so we only needed after school club 3 times a week.

We decided to try for a second and went on to have two miscarriages in 4 months. We gave ourselves a 3 month deadline for another go but going back to being happy as our family of 3. I did conceive again but also made redundant. A year on there was been such an improvement with my daughter but she is needing much more support than she did before starting school and I think she would struggle if she had to go back into wraparound care for the bulk of the week. My second is nearly 5 months and am looking at starting working again when he's around 12 months but now looking for something unrelated to my career, much more part time and flexible so that we can minimise any care we need outside of school hours. We do now have a network of parents that would be able to do the school runs if I couldn't get back exactly in time for 3.15

We can manage without me working at all so it would be just something to provide me a bit of balance. We are still paying into my pension, my partners wage more than covers all of our costs as well as us being able to add to our savings. It really has changed my priorities. I have been surprised by how his year has turned out, I'm looking for at a completely different work after this, less corporate and more people orientated. My priorities in life are just different now

This is great working pattern. Best of all worlds. If the employer feels it will work for them, it would be amazing

I think your DH needs to seriously rethink his job. Sounds to me he is career driven at the expense of your family.

You are earning more, have a small child and he has recently chosen a career field with long commutes and he plans to be away for three nights, effectively making you a default parent. Are you on board with being a default parent?

Honestly, he doesn't earn enough to can afford supporting a stay at home partner - and nice part time term time school hours job is effectively that.

Choose what works best for you and your family, but think about what is his role and how his choices are making your life harder and limiting your choices.

@fieldmouse231 I worked freelance when the kids were small - youngest was about 2-5 after being made redundant. I earned very little but it was nice having that time with them. I then moved to government which is great for flexible working and did 3-4 days a week. Now that they're teens, I'm back in private sector and earning really well.
I think part time is much more doable that school hours - you really limit yourself with that.

it sounds like your husband's earning power may increase so that should give you some comfort.

Absolute no chance - keep your job. Capitalise on family time at weekends and evenings.

I was full time, in a professional role, before kids, and quite ambitious. After the first child I changed to 4 days a week, and loved the day off with them. I later had another child (the first started school around the same time) and again had 1 day off with them, and once the youngest went to school I changed to 4 days over 5, so same hours per week but now do 3 short days with mornings and school pick ups, and 2 longer days in the office. It works well. What really made things better for me was moving company (doing the same job but in a slightly different role) to one where I didn’t have to stay late, with less pressure and targets etc. I can work from home, it’s flexible so I don’t miss school events etc. and we have a good quality of life with two good incomes.
If you have a good employer and you enjoy it, then maybe explore options there first. If you can’t do the job in 3 days, what about 3.5? Or compressed or flexible hours? Or a job share? Or sabbatical? Many employers are open to exploring options and wanting to keep staff, also to show they are family friendly and supporting working parents.
time with the kids when they are little is so precious, and I can see why people want to take a step back from careers. However the time when they are small that is only for a few years and then they are at school and things change again, so whilst some might think it’s more important not to miss those years, it’s also wise to consider what you might do when they are at school and getting older, when you might want the better career.

Just to reiterate another consideration. School hours usually mean you work in a school and rarely offer the flexibility people think.

Unless you work at the school your children attend (and even then it's not a given) you'll still miss all the sports days, assemblies, trips etc and you'll probably be using school clubs for your DC as you'll need to be in your own setting before the school day at your kids school begins.

My sister works in the same school as her child and they use morning and after school club as my sister needs to work 8am - 4/5pm. She is never able to attend her DC events as she has her own class (her school do usually make it work so she can attend the nativity but everything else she has to miss or can only attend in passing) Would be even worse if she was at a different school to her child.

School hours gives much less flexibility than I have WFH.

I've been exactly where you are right now @fieldmouse231
I would say give yourself the best future options...so if you do want to return when your kids are older, you have the options.

Your child is still tiny - and you want another one. Its totally understandable that you would want to spend more time with them and don't want the pressure of being a working mum. It seems that your employer is very supportive, so I'd go part time which will give you extra time with the kids whilst still giving you a good salary. Supportive employers who support working mums are like gold dust.

Then when the kids are older, consider your move to Bath.

I went part time when the kids were 3 and 1. Now they are older, I'm back full time in a senior role and really enjoying the mental stimulation. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I left my job (and of course, I'm financially Independent if ever my marriage ended).

Good luck!

Lovely idea to move to Bath but what sort of support network would you have around you. It is very hard living in a new area with no friends or family around to support you. Worth considering before making any move out of London.

No chance. We are used to me working for not much more than minimum wage and even with that level of salary I’m struggling to find anything that is school hours only. The only things I’ve seen are cleaning, hospitality or shop work. Even then, most of them want some hours at the weekend or evening. And the work is a hell of a change from a senior office based profession and none of them are going to be helpful if you want to step back either into your career or any other senior role.

The only people I know with anything more than entry level and also school hours had the jobs before kids and did a flexible working request.

Long term I’d love to retrain in something like speech therapy, but that’s probably not feasible now, and I know probably falls into the ‘idyllic’ category that probably isn’t as great as it might seem…

That's at least 3 years as a degree (with the right A levels) then practical experience.
I have a friend who did this and it took a while to work up to a snr role in it.

If you enjoy your current role and it’s mainly wfh I’d look at options like reducing hours or buying extra leave and taking parental leave. I buy extra leave and only work equivalent of 4.5 days but am still ft.
You may find a pt or term time only role much more rigid eg no wfh, no additional leave so tricky to cover school events etc.
As someone on other side with a teen at uni I’d say don’t underestimate costs as they grow older especially if they do trips and activities. Saving for university, driving lessons etc.
WFH works well with older juniors/secondary. I used to have a tea break when she got back to talk then back to work and she did homework.