AIBU to give up an £80,000 job to work part time school hours?

I personally wouldnt want to do that.

Can you do 4 days a week in current job? That's what i've done.

If you are sure you can afford it then go for it. I gave up a well paid job after DC2 to be a gardener, so I could be there for the children more. They are all grown up now and I’ve never regretted it. I loved being around for them and seeing them grow up. However, a couple of things to note. It was a one way street, I would not be able to get back into my old career as a middle aged woman, after a long absence from the industry. And we could afford the drop in income and pension as my DH earned more than me.

I would not move to the countryside until second child is in school at the earliest. Then you do have the flex to keep your current job.
Yes, cut down on hours but keep the job.

You might end up being able to keep a city home and a country home. Living in a house where DH finds it easier to commute has benefits of him seeing the children every day and participating in family life.

See how it all goes after the birth.

I’d ask your employer if you can do less hours, that way you keep your hand in and can up tick it again if you need the money

You'd probably feel differently about it if you ended up being spoken to like crap and treated as though you were thick as mince because you're 'only a part time admin' or 'just a jumped up TA' for the grand sum of about £1200 a month once part time hours and TTO are taken into account (you instantly lose 20% of the advertised salary through TTO and then they cut the day down so much that you can't work somewhere else but expect you to work unpaid 'for the children' everyday).

Schools can be lovely places to work, much like anywhere else, but they can equally be absolute cesspits of bullying and absolutely zero respect or recognition of ability or intelligence, particularly where support staff are concerned. You don't sound like you'd be particularly cut out for people speaking to you as though you're a particularly stupid child.

Don't do it. The paycut will be astronomical and, even with your savings, will create strain and tension.

It can be easy to fantasise about an easier or nicer work-life balance, but you said you enjoy your job, and you get to WFH part of the week. I think you'd be mad to give that up.

This is what I did - after my mat leave I went back part time. Was told it would ruin my career progression but I honesty didn’t care. I wanted to keep some kind of work and the part time work option paid much better than school hour type roles. Your workplace might not be able to do this for but worth asking.

you have doen remarkably well to be in the position you are in with your mortgage and savings at the age you are. do you mind me asking how you managed that?

And you should bear in mind that most MW jobs will be taken over by AI very very soon. Obviously not care work or TA, but lots of the admin jobs you might be thinking of

I think earning 80k while being able to WFH three days a week at a job that doesn't sound like it's burning you out and where you're well-regarded etc sounds like heaven. It sounds like you have a great cushy number there. Work is a lot harder and more unfair than that for most people. Count your blessings!

What a ludicrous statement. I have at least 3 friends I could name who have. One could never get back into a decent role again and now works p/t doing admin at a school. She was a brilliantly clever woman. They had to move to the back of beyond to live comfortably. And her husband is a decent earner. Another has been trying unsuccessfully to run a coaching business and regretting stepping away.

OP I would try and make your life in London work better for you somehow. Maybe by changing your hours or getting external support

Life is getting harder and harder. The job market is not now what it was even five years ago. And life is expensive. Small children cost nothing compared to kids at secondary school, and then University is another huge expense. Your children will be so grateful for the extra money when that time comes. I know mine certainly are.

Think very carefully. The grass is not always greener.

There are plenty of people who regret giving up a good career, what are you talking about.

I often joke that it would have been more useful for me to take my mat leave during the hideous GCSE/A Level/UCAS periods! I reckon my kids needed me more then.

And you don’t see the irony in you trying to police my responses? It’s lost on you is it? How about this: I will respond to the OP in the manner that suits me, and you can respond in the manner that suits you.

I could never dream of earning that money , but I did have a good career back in the 90's

Then things shifted for us, and I too had to decide on what to do. The thing is, you can only make the decision as to what is right for you at that time with the facts at hand at that time

At that time I chose my health over wealth and gave up work

Our peers went on to make loads of money, have massive houses in Chelsea, Fulham and Putney with portfolios all over SW London . But they gave up so much , rented rooms in their homes to be able to pay the mortgage , had to have au pairs or nannies or live in help - which meant they worked harder and longer to pay for it all

And eventually we sold up and moved - 500 miles away , mortgage free, both working part time. I only work in MW jobs 20 hours max or zero hour contracts, DH now works 24 hrs - at what ever price he decides

We get by. We dont have mega private pensions , our kids weren't educated privately - but have made good with their lives.

We owe nothing, we have a great work life balance which we had all through the kids growing up, the grandkids coming along and our parents getting elderly and their deaths , we have been able to be there

Who knows what the future will bring? Do what's right for you and your family right now , at this time

We actually found that we never missed my wages after a month or so . I had the time to cook from scratch, get the laundry and house done, did paper work and accounts , no wrap around care, no paying for convienence - which we did when we were both out 12 hours a day

May make me sound like someone who gave up so much to be a SAHW , but we as a family , as a couple, as a larger family unit gained a lot and Ive never felt hard done by, DH pulls his weight , just crap with paperwork :)

You have a role you like which is well paid and flexible. That is gold dust. Minimum pay roles don’t allow you to wfh or take your child to the dentist (without taking holiday) or spend some time nipping out to a class Panto or whatever. They’re bloody hard graft and long hours and you’ll have zero autonomy. Nothing makes parenting harder than having an inflexible job.

And that’s before you think about living as a family of four on about £65k a year, in a hugely expensive area. You may have more time (although based on above, I don’t believe this) but you wouldn’t be able to afford to do much with it!

Stick it out. Kids grow up FAST. You need to have something for YOU, long term. Teenagers and then uni students are expensive. They also don't massively appreciate the sacrifices you make for them. It's also actually easier to work full time now, than later down the line. Nursery is 8-6, school is not.

We have conversations about the best thing to do for the family re my working hours regularly. To be clear, we have them about mine because I have the ability to do my job part time or flexibly, remotely etc and DHs is much more rigid in terms of hours of cover, being on site 100% etc. All about the roles, nothing to do with me being the woman.

You have to weigh up whether the money is more important or the lifestyle with you working less. And whether the two balance out.

I currently do 3 days (I earn well so it's not a small income for the reduced hours) and get to have DD home two days a week. We looked at increasing my hours but overall, although we'd be better off, it wasn't enough to give up the lifestyle we have.

In September she goes to school so my options are:

1. Stay on three days and swap nursery fees for wraparound X3, no real change to our life or income.
2. Go full time and have her in wraparound care x5 - better off financially but long busy days for everyone
3. 5 days 9-3 (or around school times) which means no wraparound needed except for the 2x a year I have to go to London, increased hours overall, so better off financially but no days off.

I'm leaning towards option 3, despite option 2 giving us a much higher income overall, because that's the lifestyle we want for DD.

Appreciate I'm very lucky to be able to consider any of these options, and that's mostly down to the company and line management. But if you have good ones too, speak to them about moving to fully remote or just in the office once a month. See what you could do with your hours.

Then weigh up what works best overall.

Absolutely this.
And Bath is London prices to live and a nightmare to park in. Presumably you’ll need a car with 2 kids?

You'll never regret taking a step back to spend more time with your children.
You may however regret it if you dont.

I work 3 days spread over 5, so 5 hours a day. My job needs some work every day and wouldn’t work two days away. I find I’ve just cut the faff from my days. Means I’m free for drop off and school pick up. It’s so much easier to negotiate this with a current employer but I did manage with a new job as well. Stepping into a new low paid career is not a good idea, you will never recover your earning power. Obviously if you can’t get part time then needs must but high paying jobs are much more flexible than you’d think.

Just because jobs pay less doesn’t mean they are necessarily easier. You could find yourself working harder for less money!

My kids are 14 and 10 now. I dropped to 4 days after having my eldest and I cannot tell you the difference it made to my work life balance. I am very lucky that I really enjoy my current role, WFH 3 days and go in the office 1.

I think your idea may look appealing but would get boring and unfulfilling pretty quickly. Also the kids grow and change quickly but advancements in AI, changing work places etc could make things hard to pick up where you left off.

In your shoes I’d look to work 4 days, enjoy maximum maternity leave with a second child and then reassess. Maybe look into a sabbatical if that’s an option. Just be careful as the grass is definitely not always greener and getting back into work is likely to be challenging at a decent level.

YANBU you want children and you want to be able to raise them yourself - thats the most natural and understandable thing in the world.

I'd move out of London; purchase a home where you can afford to work 3 days a week - from home is even more ideal and have some breathing space from a full on career whilst your children are young. Its cheesy but you really do not get the time back. In the overall landscape of your working life - 5 years part time will not kill all of your ambitions and hope and dreams.