AIBU to give up an £80,000 job to work part time school hours?

But equally - I don't even have a pension, but my DH does! Everyone's circumstances are so different. I am not worried about finances in the slightest. DH pension will be plenty for us.

Do they though? I don't know anyone who has made a major career sacrifice in my life who regrets spending more time with their kids.

I personally think the fear of losing career status holds people back from putting family first...but in reality actually the people who step back to put family first say that it's worth the sacrifice of the salary.

This! I worked part time when my children were small and loved it but my pension is shot. I'm late fifties now in a demanding job (55 + hrs a week) and will have to keep working for years. Very stressful indeed.

I work 25 hours a week and love it. Currently on my second maternity leave, doing a course whilst on leave to help me keep up with my industry still. Will stick to 25 hours per week for the foreseeable future as works well with us for childcare/costs/household stuff. Will eventually go back to full time, but personally for me spending 2 days a week with my eldest has been much more satisfying then my job ever has been (finance) so whatever works for you!

In my experience kids need you just as much as they get older so would consider perhaps going part time 4 days in your role for a longer period if you can

Everyone will say don’t do it because he might leave you.

I suspect you are sufficiently capable if the worst happens, you’d find a way forwards and another great job.

live your life how you like! I’d take the leap - your kids are only young once. Good luck! Xoxo

I think you’d be mad to give up your job. Loads of women including me work full time and are on significantly lower wage than you. Breakfast club, after school club, holiday clubs etc.

Do it! You've got a good financial backing and good options in mind. Your children are only this young for such a short period, before you know it they are in school. Don't miss it working. Work is exactly that, work...it won't buy that time back but it will buy you someone else having that time. Your career plans tend to change once you've got a family anyway. (Your priorities differ, not that you become any less ambitious or able).

Move our of the city, why not? Once they are settled in school it's very hard to move so consider it now. You only get one life to live.

I've been PT for 5 years now. Haven't regretted it in any way. Good luck!

You’re crazy to give up something that pays so well with that level of flexibility.

Give it a go, and if it’s not working, then scale back.

As well as giving you time with your children some part-time jobs have value far beyond salary. Health, education and charity jobs can be amazingly rewarding and provide all sorts of training and development opportunities. I made the jump after children and the jobs I have done since I would honestly do for free as I enjoy them so much. I am not someone who cares about material things and I feel that your time is the best thing you can give your children. I understand that not everyone feels this way and it is really about what feels right for you and your family.

You need to consider this really carefully and not with rose tinted spectacles!
Dropping to a TA or speech and language role would be such a huge reduction in pay and with no guarantee of the hours that you would want, it would not be sensible to even consider this.
Money buys you time and opportunity especially in the south, children become more expensive and in fact need you more as they get older navigating the teen years so it isn't just wanting to be around to pick them up whilst they are young.
Negotiate flexibility in your current role that can be future proofed, good will and experience in an organisation helps with this and cannot be bought in employment.
You already have an that arrangement many people would already wish for!

I agree with seeking part-time hours from your current role.

Yes you probably will be expected to do almost as much work but it does still improve your work -life balance.

I felt like you. And the early years were hard but I'm really glad I stuck with it now. My kids are primary aged and above and I'm still part time. If I'd taken time out I'd be having to work more hours now. It was short term pain for long term gain.

Even one extra day gives flexibility to shift things around for school plays, sports day etc.

Personally I prefer longer days and full days off to school hours. Otherwise everything feels a constant rush.

When I couldn't do the school run I really felt I was missing out. Now I do it most of the time I realise that I wasn't.

OP please don't do it. I'm older than you as my kids are teens now.
I earn roughly the same as you and have similar good conditions in work: wfh, short commute, few days in the office. I also enjoy it. I don't think is easy to have all of that. Kids grow up very quickly and it makes a difference to have the money to pay for all those sports/ tournaments/ school trips/ experiences/ grinds or tutors they might need, etc. You can afford private health insurance. We did need it at some point, makes a big difference.
I do think is a mistake if you leave. Believe me, things might change (and when they do nobody expects that) and you will be so glad you kept your job. Best of luck.

I agree with a lot of the comments on here, that you do need to try and think longer term. But I know it’s so hard juggling it all when they are little. Like many have said is there an opportunity to reduce your hours in your current job, 4 days or even 3 days if they would allow it?

Perhaps one thing to bear in mind is your husband is already on his second career so might he get bored again and move onto a third, starting at entry level salary each time. If you have given up work and by then have 2 children you might be a bit stretched. I wonder if scaling down while keeping your foot in the door will offer a bit more by way of insurance.

I would be looking at reducing my hours in my current job and a location that works better for you all. I don't think it sounds like that will be Bath. Two kids is a lot and ideally your husband will be around as much as possible.

Apologies as I read (and replied) to it thinking it was five over four!

There's no right or wrong, it's about your chosen priority. Just as stepping away from an £80k a year employment would seem madness to some, choosing to be away from your young children for 4 or 5 days per week would be to others.
Personally I chose more time with my children but my career, even on part-time hours went from strength to strength. I loved being able to WFH flexibly, being there for school runs and attend events. Early years and Primary years are a lovely part of being a parent and I didn't want to miss out. I don't know what industry you are in but could you look to become a consultant picking up contracts, working from home on days of your choosing? I'd push for reduced and compressed hours in your current role when you return after having your second child. Possibly delay the second child a year to allow your husband to change employer if that would be better financially?

I changed career last year from a well paid job where i worked school hours from home, did 80+% of school pick ups and was there for my children all the time outside of school until the youngest was in their second year of high school.

I then changed to current role in a school and let me tell you that i am very glad i waited until the children were older to do this. There would be no way i would have been able to be there for my children as i was, with a job working in a school unless you can find a job that finishes at the same time as your childrens, but then you have all the inset days that you would need childcare cover for.

Difficult to find jobs which allow for drop off and pick up and also term time only. You’d be earning practically nothing

Four over five is never in your favour. You'll end up working longer hours trying to foresee everything.

I do four over five and i love it. I do 4 days worth of work in the hours and it works well.

Your husband is being mugged off doing long hours & a 90 min commute, travel etc for 50k. Usually jobs that expect such inflexibility with your family life pay a lot more. Your current job sounds like one to stick with.

Four over five is never in your favour. You'll end up working longer hours trying to foresee everything. And on the day you aren't in, everybody who is looking for something will say 'Fieldmouse231 will be back in on Monday'.

I went back four days a week and ended up getting paid for four days and doing the work of five days.

If you like regularly spending the majority of the day with your kids, working five days a week is horrible for both you and the children.
Can you job share? That to me is the best of both worlds.

The other thing is many people with younger kids think kids need us more when they are young. I've found the opposite to be true. My kids are teens now and I can't even imagine not being there to listen to the trials and tribulations of their day when they come home from school. If anything they need me more but in an emotional (and far more exhausting way) than the physical need they needed me when they were younger.

What you’re missing is that being in a senior well paid and flexible role will ultimately give you more time with your children than most situations. If your work is like mine, you’ll be able to wfh if they’re sick or nip out for a hour if they have school music performance or all these millions of things schools want you to attend (don't underestimate this!) Minimum wage jobs do not allow any time off unless it’s booked as holiday or unpaid. You will have no autonomy and you’re treated like a child