AIBU to give up an £80,000 job to work part time school hours?

I think I'd carefully consider how your life might look when your kids are in primary and how that might fit in with a job with little/ no flexibility.

Being able to wfh and being around and not having to take a day off when they're sick, or the odd day in the school holidays, is a godsend. Having flexible hours so we can do the odd school run / pop out and take them to a hobby then log back on / take them to appointments / nip out to school performances etc is great and would be much much harder if we had roles eg I a school office where you have set hours that you have to be on site.

You will find it particularly difficult to get a part time role around school hours for 40k a year,

The people who work these type of jobs have probably put flexible working requests in there current roles.

Your best bet is to put in a flexible working request, possibly asking for condensed hours or trialling using annual leave 1 day a week to see how you get on. If you go down to 4 days a week you would just need to adjust people’s expectations of workloads

Ultimately you need to do what is best for your family

I'm part time and do the school pickup/after school a couple of times a week, I always think it's going to be magical but my kids are grumpy and tired and just want to watch TV! In some ways I'm not sure it's easier. I have a friend who is FT with grandparent help daily for after school and they actually get more quality time with their child as I'm doing house/dinner etc after pick up whereas they are able to earn enough to ship out the house stuff. Focus on quality, not quantity.

I'd focus on making the house easier instead - get a cleaner etc rather than quitting a job you like which is well paid. Also have a think about the future, not just today. Plan for 10/20 years down the line, as kids get more expensive and pensions etc are important too. At school age there are activities which add up quickly and I'm thinking about university and help with house deposits now.

Being a TA wouldn't let you do the school run as you'd need to be there before you would drop your kids off and you would finish after they finish, they would still need wraparound care and it would eat into the wages which aren't high in the first place. I don't think there are many admin jobs nowadays either, they've disappeared over the last twenty years. Don't fall into the trap of thinking lower paid jobs are less stressful. I've moved up and the new job is more senior, better paid and less stressful that the lower paid one.

The OP talks a lot about being able to walk back into X, Y, Z in her posts. Or being a speech therapist. Or a TA. Or working in admin. And the point is that it is not possible to walk back into any career these days (if it ever was). It’s not manufactured outrage to say that it might be a good idea to think about all the repercussions before making such a big decision, and using examples is a good way to do that.

This is very much dependent on the individual. I loved having more time with my kids especially when they were small. For me this was worth the hit to my career. I couldn’t cope working full time. I have friends who are very ambitious and would hate the thoughts of bringing their toddlers to playgroup instead of working and would not have enjoyed it and would not have been at their best if they did it.

So even if there was definitive research saying kids of mum’s who work full time do better - it still wouldn’t have been my choice.

Btw, I would also add that our adult children have said they weren't affected by us both working FTOTH other than they acknowledge they had a lovely life and childhood because we were in a good position financially.

By that I mean we lived in a nice house, went on great holidays, ate decent food, they went through private schools and were able to go on school trips, they didn't have to work at university and we've also been able to help launch them into adulthood by helping financially. We haven't ever had to scrimp and if you've been earning well for a while you won't be having to at the moment either. You have a small baby and it will only get more expensive! Sorry, but it will.

My daughter tells me she's proud of me and that she loves knowing that if dh and I split up (not likely so far) that I can support myself. She's said I'm a good role model. She might have said that had I been a SAHM of course but I wasn't.

I think you need to do what's right for you so I'm only sharing in case it's helpful, feel free to ignore me! I do like being on the other side of my decision and seeing that I've raised lovely adults though.

What would you do? Similar but with less hours - is that even possible?
Working school hours is the holy grail, but the only ones I know who do that are on not much above minimum wage working in an actual school. Also you DH, maybe wait until he has a promotion/step up? Is he likely to do that in the next year or so?
Timing: if you do decide to step back are you going to wait until you are actually pregnant? That sounds sensible and maybe you can save a bit as a cushion.

Yes I'll do me. Giving good advice and not trading in hyperbole and manufactured outrage.

You do you...

To be fair, I helped someone get a career job once who had over a decade in the home not working in any paid employment and definitely used all of their skills in the home in writing an app that got them the job.

However... it was not a job going straight in at the sort of level they could have been at had they worked all that time. And they had been in a professional career previously which we could use in the application to her advantage. It was a job that ultimately she has had to start at the bottom of and work up.

WELL THAT MAKES QUITE A DIFFERENCE, WOULDN'T YOU THINK?

No shit Sherlock

I wouldn’t do this. You have a good salary and flexibility. If you wfh 3 days a week would you be able to do drop/pick up when your kids are school age? If yes that’s a fantastic benefit. I went down to 4 days, and it gave me a fab balance of time with the kids and have fully kept my career going, and my pension is v healthy. Plus with a well established job you’ll have flexibility I imagine for the nativities, school assemblies and sports days. In a school hours job you might not get that. Plus they are like hens teeth!!

Not sure of your industry but with all the AI advancements I’d be very cautious of dropping out of the workforce. It’s brutal in the job market now.

She's not being a TA for £30k PA for three days a week.

Bath is a great city for teens and easy to get to Bristol. But I’d choose location wisely. Personally I’d probably live in Weston or Combe Down if I had the budget! Or Bear Flat. I would not commute to London for a job from Bath unless I was paid a fortune.

And doing a full on full time stressful job when you go back to work after having a second child does no good for your mental health either. If I had my time again I'd have stuck to my 3 days a week role like glue and would not have burned out after two years and had to spend two years away from my profession doing something completely different while my mental health recoveredd.

Personally I think kids need you much more when they are older. As in specifically you rather than someone in their immediate circle. I'd be with you if you didnt earn well and work from home 3 days but actually you have a great thing going - you can work around your kids and get quality time with them to a large extent because of WFH plus financially you're doing well. I would take the maternity leave offered and then put in a flexible working request for 4 day week at your current place. You are close enough then to full time that your promotion prospects shouldnt change but may be able to get to one day in the office a week. The day off will make a big difference. Get a cleaner as others suggest so you are outsourcing the stuff anyone can do, and use the time with your kids. You will then be better positioned to step it back up to 5 days and also for promotions. A job you love that pays well is very hard to find.

Remember that one day they will leave and you will only have what is left. You will want something for yourself then. Also, it is much much easier to be flexible higher up the chain. Kids (I think) need you in their teen years/exams - if you continue to climb in your role until then you'll likely be in a position to delegate and work from home more around them, take a sabbatical, maybe even self employed consultancy to really control your hours. You can't just fall into high level well paid work easily after years doing low level, low hours work (not unheard of but unusual)

Your call. Your career and salary are your security net though. Think of your pension and being able to retire early if you play your cards right too. Going PT after your 🤞 2nd Mat leave be better. Could put in a flexible working request then when wee folk at school increase your hours. £30k is a massive drop. Time without money (or vice versa) isn’t much fun so crunch the numbers on salary calculator and be realistic about the impact to get balance right and also be prepared for resentment either side with new arrangement (to head that off at the pass too).

So many people focusing on money only but forgetting that kids will definitely benefit from having more time with their parents when they are babies/toddlers

So many people treat money and financial security as somethingm I don't know, optional? Nice to have? Financial stress and poverty affect parenting quality and child wellbeing more broadly than having a parent at home.

It isn't but being a TA doesn't nothing for your CV if you want the good £80k job again in 5 years or so.

You also don’t get missed pension contributions, compound interest on savings and investments, options for good healthcare, options for good dentistry etc etc. back either. I’m all for people making choices that work for them but let’s not pretend that SAHP do lose out. And that’s without even considering the 50% divorce rate…

I worked 20 hours a week and I modified it a few times how I worked those hours around what worked for me depending on the ages of my kids. They were very flexible like that but equally they were thrilled to have me as I had tons of experience and they knew I was only staying in the job because of the flexibility and the part time hours.

It was not hard to get full time work again. But there is plenty of jobs in my industry. It was very difficult to get used to working full time. I loved having time with the kids and I had also picked up a bucket load of volunteer work like play groups, parenting associations ect… so that mostly had to go.

I like being busy. Although I’m not especially money motivated. We definitely have nicer holidays now and a newer car ect.., but honestly the kids are small for such a short amount of time it was worth the financial sacrifice

And you have to work so hard to build your reputation and develop trust with your employer to have a good level of flexibility, to give all that up to “run a household”? I’d genuinely rather hire a full time housekeeper on £30k a year for a couple of years and keep my career.

The OP wants to work part time, how the fuck is that the same as being a SAHP for 15 years? Manufactured outrage.