Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To do this over email?

134 replies

WellErrrr · 03/02/2026 11:42

I run a business and have recently employed the services of a self employed marketing assistant. She has been coming into the office one day a week and the plan was for this to be long term. However - she’s not great unfortunately and has actually made quite a few mistakes in a short space of time which have ended up costing us. She is a lovely person though and very enthusiastic, but it can’t continue sadly.

I have managed to spread her tasks amongst other team members and no longer want to use her services. I discussed this with another senior staff member who said I need to do this over the phone. However, personally I’d rather have a kind email than be put on the spot out of the blue on an unexpected phone call. I’m not planning to list her shortcomings on the email, just thank her for her work and we don’t need her any more etc.

YABU - call her
YANBU - a kind email is fine

OP posts:
noidea69 · 03/02/2026 12:09

Email, no matter how kind, is the cowardly way out.

I would call then, put everything in an email.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 03/02/2026 12:08

Phone call, then follow up with an email.

Diamondsareagirlsbestfrien · 03/02/2026 12:07

I’d call but tell her you will follow up on an email.

NimbleMoose · 03/02/2026 12:06

Why not email to briefly explain and arrange a time to call? Then follow up with email.

Redbushteaforme · 03/02/2026 12:06

I run my own small business. In a similar situation, I would do it by phone but not go into any more detail than you are suggesting putting in your email. An email is very impersonal.

The only exception would be if you have a written contract with her which says that you need to give reasons/notice for ending the arrangement, in which case that should be done in writing (email) although I would still phone first.

However, is there no way to mentor/coach her for a bit (limited time) to see if her performance improves? Finding someone lovely and enthusiastic is quite rare!

Happytaytos · 03/02/2026 12:06

Phone out of courtesy. No need to be rude, just explain you don't need her services.

HouseOfGoldandBones · 03/02/2026 12:06

I would send an email & add that she's welcome to call if she wants to discuss it.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 03/02/2026 12:04

I think you should call. An email would obviously be much easier for you, but I think you owe her the courtesy of at least having a conversation with her.

You don't have to list her shortcomings in detail - I would be inclined to explain that you want to terminate the arrangement because it isn't really working for you. If she then presses for more details, you can either outline them on the phone or offer to send an email.

WellErrrr · 03/02/2026 12:01

Anyone? 🙂

OP posts: