I have refused to let DSS here every weekend

I'm sorry @ImthedriverSo for all the criticism.
You seemed to have a good system with the children, & I hope you can get it court ordered.
Why people read different things to what OP's have written, I don't know. It's every thread! Plus you'd answered about Dad not driving a dozen times, sigh..

ABsolutely not. I'm sure their mum wants weekends with them, too, rather than just the drudgery of the working week.

If the little one doesn’t like being away from his brother overnight then for this reason alone they should visit together. It’s probably been hard to get their heads around the fact that mummy and daddy aren’t together now and having to adjust to the new normal. They’re still so young and have dealt with enough change to date imo.

The ex has moved 3 times, further away each time. Are OP and her DH expected to move each time, giving up their home and probably their jobs each time just because the ex is difficult?

Do you have children? If your ex chose to move would you not follow?

Why would your children suffer because you choose to be stubborn?

Nothing. 50/50 custody won’t work because the school run is a two hour round trip. Every day. Totally unreasonable and entirely on the ex for putting that distance between them.

Her idea is rediculous and can’t see any judge ordering it. If either parent wants one on one time that can be facilitated in their own time e.g. she gets someone else to look after one for a bit on her weekend. The EOW works perfectly well. Let him take it to court. They might even order her to do half the driving, particularly given she was the one that moved.

I pulled this poster on this upthread. Their reply was to state that they thought there was ‘more to it than meets the eye’. Keyboard warrior speak for ‘I’ve made a mistake but I’m buggered if I’m going to admit it’.

These sorts of threads unfortunately bring out all the bitter women who were clearly left for a reason going by their completely out there posts that make no sense in the real world. Like along with their relationship breakdown common sense also left the building.

Then as mentioned before, she shouldn’t have moved a two hour round trip away knowing her ex couldn’t drive. How are OP and her DH expected to have them during the week when their school run takes two hours twice a day ? Would you do it ? No, of course you wouldn’t. And he’s advocating for the same contact as they previously had because the ex’s proposal actually means less contact, not more. No court in the land is going to grant one child at a time every alternate weekend unless there’s a cast iron compelling reason for it - it’s not good for the children, and not good for the absent parent.

His ex left him for someone else. He received diagnosis and she was very unhappy , she began a relationship with a colleague. He did nothing wrong

Oops.. Helps to read the posts huh.
Another poster making assumptions. Sounds like you'd be the ex in this scenario and it's people like this that are just out to cause drama rather than what's best for the kids... Whatever happened to you to make you this bitter doesn't mean every situation is the same and not every man "abandons very young children", sometimes it's the woman that was the problem (shock horror).
I know plenty of women who abandoned their kids too bit I guess in those situations you'd be defending that too "oh the poor woman needed a break"...

Sometimes people aren't abandoning the kids they're abandoning the unpleasant person they bred with and they do what they can to keep seeing the kids while trying to keep distance from toxic ex partners. I'm sure you'd know all about that.

And some bloody nosy ones too. As you rightly say, OP has no need to disclose the condition, the fact that it is progressive and stops him driving is enough information unless you’re a ghoul.

Are you being deliberately obtuse or have you just not bothered to read OP’s updates - even a few posts back because the information is all there. DH cannot drive because of a significant medical condition which will get progressively worse. His ex knows this as she was his wife when he got the diagnosis and promptly had an affair and ended the marriage. She then moved a two hour round trip away knowing he couldn’t drive if he wanted to. The ex is actually proposing less contact overall, not more, which a lot of people are missing. If you’re going to comment, at least be aware of the facts.

My 3 children are adults now but my ex would only ever have the children EOW, when I asked him if he could see them a bit more often to give me a break he refused, despite him not having a job. Funny though, EOW was still more time than he spent with them when we were married.

Sorry to disagree with the main poster but she married a father of 2 children, why would you expect to have some weekends to yourselves? Especially when your DH’s ex has them the other 25/26 days of the month on her own.

I cannot understand why some people need to have a go at you and your DH, you have explained that your DH can't drive for medical reasons surely that's enough, because he may be unwell doesn't mean that he doesn't love his children and wants to see them regularly and you kindly facilitate this
Some nasty twisted people here.

Absolutely agree.. There are so many ex's who intentionally cause drama especially with the other parent repartners, they try to make things as difficult as possible... It puts pressure on the children too when one parent carries on like this.
Some posters can't get past the fact that some women are the problem in these situations and not all men left for another woman so not all step mothers were the OW but select people seem to jump on that assumption (says a lot about them though, creating whole new assumptions..)

Court order time.
Child arrangements shouldn't be made solely for the convenience of one parent if it isn't convenient for the other and the original plan was working well enough.
I'd insist on keeping the current plan and that the kids are used to the routine, by withholding them for such a petty reason won't look good if you do have to follow through and get a court order. She is punishing the kids to have this tantrum.

The ex sounds very difficult which is a shame for the DC, she is not prioritising the DC welfare, under the circumstances a court order sounds necessary. Good luck.

Don’t worry OP there’s just a lot of hostile, bitter ex wife’s who love to annihilate women! And you wonder why their husbands ran off and started new lives. This place is full of vile bitter women!!

Fucking hell this thread is hard work. He cannot drive as he is medically not allowed.

I’ve never felt so much of a keyboard warrior until recently….

OP’s husband is not allowed to drive due to a health condition, which was one of the reasons his ex left him in the first place.

Please read OP’s posts.

But the ex won't let him have them any more than that. She wouldn't even jlet him have them for a week over Christmas. He wasn't fussy which week but she only allowed 3 days. She's just being a bitch.

Plus never have a full day.

Firstly, i’m glad that DSS have three carers that all love them. Secondly, i understand how picking and dropping each weekend would be inconvenient for you especially since weekends are supposed to be restful. Personally, i know you love the kids and don’t have a problem with them but i think you need to set boundaries because yours and DHs relationship is also important. try to ask your dh to come to a compromise between what both you and ex want without a court order first. But also honestly i think dh should be taking more responsibility for picking and dropping his children off. Maybe get driving lessons to get the burden off of you??

I would go for a court order, In it I would mention that she is the one who has moved three times, each time further away and therefore she should meet use halfway to facilitate contact as it was her decision to move. The judge would see this as very fair.
i would also ask for every other weekend, school holidays split and alternative birthdays and Christmas. These are all things a judge will agree on as a bare minimum. Good luck