I have refused to let DSS here every weekend

I should put your glasses on and read ops posts again.
The ex wants to go from both kids from fri afternoon to Sunday night to one kid every week from sat morning to Sunday morning.
Meaning they would never have both kids together to do anything with the added bonus of them never being able to make any plans for themselves.
On no planet is this a good idea.

@mydogisthebest

It's worrying that so many posters seem unable to read properly and/or comprehend what they are reading.

It is. MN as a whole is very quick to call out misogyny but there's a lot of misandry on this thread. So people are reading what they want to read, not what's actually written. The mum has done no wrong, it's all the dad's fault.

But OP, when you go to book your DH's driving lessons can I suggest you cancel the cheque while you're out.🙄

It's not unreasonable to not want to spend hours driving for a 24 hr visit. It's not unreasonable to ask why the sudden change. It's not unreasonable to want to see them for the whole weekend together. It's also not unreasonable for their mum to want to change the set up - she probably has her reasons. But your DH doesn't know because he hasn't asked.

And whilst medical/health issues resulting in fatigue etc are a challenge, they do not stop you being a parent. He has 12 more years at least where he needs to make them his priority. Unless absolutely not possible, he needs to get on with it. Most mums don't have a choice, regardless.

£500 p/m for 2 children? That seems very low. Is he on a lowish salary?

It may be worth looking at finances before going down the legal route - it may result in the maintenance payments being significantly increased.

It's a difficult situation but IMO, their dad does seem a bit flaky. 2.5 days out of 14 with a week in the summer seems minimal. As do the maintenance payments

Because she’s being awkward, wants the power, or just being bloody minded ? I don’t think OP and her husband can read her mind.

Agreed. Or at least read the OP’s posts.

@lazyarse123 spot on!

They are at school in the week and I would imagine their mother would like to spend a weekend with them. How do you think it should work?
Rhe mother needs to stop moving around and move closer to their family. If she lived close then it would make her life easier. Some people like to make life harder for themselves.

Fuck my life it's absolutely shocking the number of thick pp who either can't or won't comprehend what's being said.
Anything to blame the dad.
Shall I try to make it easy for the thickos?
THE EX WIFE LEFT HIM WHEN HE BECAME ILL.
THE EX WIFE MOVED 3 TIMES FURTHER AWAY EACH TIME.
IT'S NOT PRACTICAL DURING THE WEEK WHEN SCHOOL IS AN HOUR AWAY.
DH CANNOT DRIVE DUE TO AN ILLNESS.
THE EX WIFE WILL NOT THEM HAVE THE KIDS ANY LONGER DURING HOLIDAYS.
Op has said it's time to go to court.

OP honestly stop answering all the people on here who haven’t bothered to RTFT. You’ve answered these questions.

YANBU. Unfortunately you will have to go to court if the ex can’t revert back to original schedule.

it’s separating the children/more travelling/less time with the kids. Unless there is a good reason the ex can provide, the new plan is not in anyone’s interest

Pack it in! The mother doesn’t even want dad to have both kids EOW, let alone every weekend! And quite rightly so… I would hate my DD to be at her dads every weekend… when are mums supposed to spend quality time with their kids? Because lets face it evening after school can’t be considered the same thing as kids come in, eat, do home school / after school clubs, bath and bed.

Not another poster who hasn’t read the whole thread.
He can’t drive for medical reasons.
@Teddybear23

It's not 'help' when a man takes his own kids for access.
By that logic they need and want her 'help' a lot more than she needs theirs seeing as they love their child free weekends and the mother is in charge of looking after the kids and doing everything for them the rest of the time.

I think we have identified the ex!

Not read full thread...but don't dance to her tune. So she wants both kids all the time at the weekend (by going no contact 🤣). That's hilarious. She wants the control but that will go very sour very well quickly when she gets no time at the weekend to herself week in week out..
I wouldn't be shelling out for a lawyer and a court order quickly. She sounds a manipulative so and so. Have a few weeks off and reassess.... Do not dance to her tune or let her feel she holds all the cards.
She needs and wants your help. So yes you will help, but on fair terms.

That theory doesn't really add up, seeing as the mother seems to like keeping them for most of the holidays and while she does want to switch to every weekend she only wants it to be for 24 hours.

Probably because she has them the whole rest of the time and is bringing them absolutely everywhere else?

Why can’t the mother do one of the trips? Pick up from school OR pick up to take back home. It seems it’s all on 'you' to facilitate any contact at all.

Not unreasonable at all and perfect grounds for going to court to cement the arrangement. It would be different if mum was dropping and collecting but it is all being left to you to do a minimum of 4 hours for the sake of having the kids a fortnight to double that. He will be down about not having his kids especially because he actually wants to be present.

Go to court and use this as an opportunity to get more time if you'd like it. I think its wicked that she gets to have them as a complete family unit and she wants to now take away you guys being a complete family.

It sounds like his ex is trying to sabotage any free time that you have together. It's an absolute NO from me, what a cheeky cow to expect you to agree to her idea.

Why is MN always so keen to stir s*it between couples?

Particularly nasty as OP’s husband's ex left him for another man when OP’s husband got a seriously bad health diagnosis.

Wow. Nasty nasty nasty.

This is a very odd thing to say out loud. Imagine if the mum said she also needs to work hard during the week and plan other things every other weekend? Or insist on 50-50 custody what happens to the children then?

I totally disagree. SHes happy to drive and the system has been working perfectly till now. Partners support each other

Try reading the the OPs posts even if you do not read the full thread.

Read. The. Thread.