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Original poster

MIL sadly annoys me to no end

29 replies

BanksianRose · 30/01/2026 11:44

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to get your opinion on whether or not I‘m the one being unreasonable here. Sorry for the long post. I used to get on quite well with my MIL, she always used to get involved quite a lot but I did start ignoring it and not taking it too seriously. She also always said to me that she should be allowed to voice her opinion which I found weird but ok, I guess.

But since we’ve moved back to my DH hometown and had a baby she really did turn it up a notch. She has already called me a bad mum and everytime I see her I‘m doing sth wrong or she tells me that I definitely have to do whatever she says otherwise our daughter will turn out like whatever bad example she comes up with. She also told me to go back to work and pay her so she can retire early to look after her and that she missed out on so much while her sons were little.

There are just so many other things where she wanted to be involved and I just did not want her there. I really did struggle with nausea when I was pregnant for basically the entire time and apparently there were some issues with our daughter that we had to get checked out at several specialists. But everytime we went to an ultrasound, she went on and on about how unfair it is that she will never be part of that bc she only has sons. But it was only me and my DH. And we had enough issues already. Like finding out whether or not she had a hole in her heart. Daughter is fine now though, but everytime we went to an ultrasound sth else looked suspicious and I was anxious the whole pregnancy.

She also always mentions how she will have her over all the time or that other people apparently tell her that she should be able to see our daughter everday and that I‘m mean because I don‘t visit her everyday. There have been so many other occasions as well where she belittled me and manipulated me.

It has gone so far that I only send my DH over to her with our daughter bc I just can’t look at her anymore. Even her other son and my DH say that they are proud of me for drawing a line. But I still feel bad for her bc my mum sees our daughter more often and watches her when we go out even though she lives further away. She‘s still her Granny so I don‘t know if I‘m just a bit sensitive.

Thanks everyone :)

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 30/01/2026 11:56

Why isn't your DH stopping her nonsense?

MatildaTheCat · 30/01/2026 11:55

I’d honestly start saving up to move further away again if possible. She sounds like a loon.

Well done for removing yourself from her nonsense but I doubt it will stop. Now you’ll be ‘mean mummy who won’t let baby and grandma have time together’.

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 30/01/2026 11:51

You’re not required to spend time with anyone who is actively unpleasant to you. She sounds as though she is perfectly well aware that she isn’t nice to you and just expects you to suck it up. That’s on her. It wouldn’t be good for your daughter, when she’s older, to have to listen to her grandmother being rude to her mother.
Where does your DH stand on this? Does he acknowledge that his mother is difficult and unkind to you? This is really a matter for him. If he wants to let his mother know that her treatment of you is unacceptable, he can. You don’t need to do anything except continue to protect your peace from someone who’s horrible to you.

PeoniesAreMyFavouriteFlowers · 30/01/2026 11:51

You’re not responsible for your mil reliving her parenthood just because she missed so much when her sons were small.

I really would not put up with being called a bad mother. How dare she? Call her out.

I’m not sure why you’re allowing access to your daughter when this woman insults you.

I wouldn’t involve her in your lives if all she can do is be rude and entitled. Keep your boundaries firm. And look out for any poisonous words she says to your dd about you.