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AIBU?

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AIBU to take the cat back?

31 replies

SummerBreeze1980 · 28/01/2026 21:05

I'm writing this on behalf of a friend.

My friend through no fault of her own was made homeless by a private landlord. She was moved into a homeless shelter with her 2 children. She could not take her pets. Through work, a colleague suggested an older lady who would care for her cat until she could have him back.

After a year they were moved to a temporary flat which also does not allow her to have her pets. She has now been there a year. So the cat has lived with the lady for 2 years. During this time my friend has provided all his food/treats/flea and worming treatment and taken him to the vets when necessary and paid. She visits him weekly with her daughter.

The issue is that the lady has of course got very attached to the cat and likes to treat him with food. She buys him wet food pouches and gives him a lot of not particularly healthy treats. The cat is now very overweight, has health problems and does not go outside. My friend has tried to kindly and gently address this with the lady while being incredibly grateful that she took the cat in and she knows the lady is not doing this out of malice, but just because she loves the cat.

She took the cat to the vet recently and they have said he is severely overweight. He weights double what he should. He can't groom himself properly and damage has been caused to his joints and fur. His teeth are also in a bad state as the lady has stopped giving him the dry food my friend supplies as naturally the cat holds out for the wet pouches and other treats.

My friend is at a loss as to what to do next. She is considering bringing the cat to her flat as he doesn't go outside now, even though this is against the rules and it is unlikely she will have a permanent home anytime soon. However, she knows the lady is very attached to the cat and would probably be lonely without him.

If anyone could give any advice as to how to deal with this it would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 29/01/2026 07:23

HoppingPavlova · 29/01/2026 03:11

Another thinking the wet pouches can’t be responsible for the teeth? One of my kids has a cat and right from kitten the vet’s advice was to feed 2/3 wet food and 1/3 dry food as diet as supposedly many cats get kidney problems from not drinking enough even though there are fountains used now. They also feed treats but most of the treats are good for the teeth, so what treats is she feeding?

Basically, I think your friend was in a tight spot, this woman came to the rescue, your friend shouldn’t have the cat in the current housing (could be evicted?), and her first responsibility is to her kids. So, I would just transfer ownership to the old lady and let it go.

I agree. Athough it's sad it's the right thing for everyone especiallythe cat.

jackdunnock · 29/01/2026 03:32

She could find someone else who is willing to adopt/foster the cat, but just tell the current fosterer that she's taking it home (as was presumably agreed) rather than to someone else.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 29/01/2026 03:24

Sounds weird but okay....

She should have taken the cat to a cat sanctuary 2 years ago.
she didnt.
The cat hasn't been properly looked after.

if she cannot adequately house herself and her kids she is still not in a financial position to provide and care for a pet.

The cat should be taken to an animal rescue and rehomed.

ShetlandishMum · 29/01/2026 03:19

She should have found another solution before the cat is in this state and she was ungappy with the care.
She visits weekly over two years? She must have seen the cat getting fat?
Why didn't the vet adressed it sooner? It sounds a bit weird.

As it is unlikely she will have a permanent home anytime soon she doesn't really have a lot of choices does she. Let it go.

HoppingPavlova · 29/01/2026 03:11

Another thinking the wet pouches can’t be responsible for the teeth? One of my kids has a cat and right from kitten the vet’s advice was to feed 2/3 wet food and 1/3 dry food as diet as supposedly many cats get kidney problems from not drinking enough even though there are fountains used now. They also feed treats but most of the treats are good for the teeth, so what treats is she feeding?

Basically, I think your friend was in a tight spot, this woman came to the rescue, your friend shouldn’t have the cat in the current housing (could be evicted?), and her first responsibility is to her kids. So, I would just transfer ownership to the old lady and let it go.

Octavia64 · 29/01/2026 03:01

i’d be surprised if wet food on it’s own was causing the dental issues.

how old is the cat?

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