Who is BU here, me or DH?

His behaviour was not respectful - you don’t keep someone waiting.
It was probably more poor communication and the realisation that his programme was more interesting than he thought, but he needed to communicate this properly and in a nice way.
Maybe have a conversation together about how you each felt and how you will both approach this next time. It has clearly left a bad taste and that’s a shame.

Mountain out of a molehill.
I wouldn't even worry about my teens being out in the dark at that time, never mind a fully grown adult.
It's annoying he wasn't ready. It is annoying if you want an easygoing Sunday but are being tied up with timings to go for walks that could wait.
I think you both just need to move on from it.

He was in the wrong not to be ready to go when he said, and to drag it out and make you wait, instead of just telling you he'd changed his mind or he now wouldn't be ready to go until after 8pm. You were a little over the top expecting him to worry about you choosing to walk in the dark.

His excuses are nonsense - he wasn't just getting changed, was he? He was watching his programme. Which is fine - but he's being weird and obstructive about it. He could have just said no thanks, I've changed my mind and I want to watch this now. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Nothing wrong with asking about the shower in that context imo - if you were on the bed it's pretty reasonable to assume you were about to sleep in it!

Nb unless you're very short, why are you trying to lose weight at size 8??

He sounds mildly irritating and dithery, but your need to have a schedule for a walk would annoy me. It's just an evening walk. I can see why he'd think it didn't really matter what time you went. You had no commitments and the entire evening.

If you were going to the cinema or had restaurant reservations then sure, he'd have been out of order, but I don't think most couples would plan a brief evening walk to the minute.

You sound like hard work. Phoning him after 10 minutes, when you'd already told him you were going on your own, was just needy and attention-seeking.

As for 'why wasn't he worried about me being out after dark' - you're a grown woman, for god's sake, surely you're capable of leaving the house after sundown without a chaperone. How would you manage to, eg, get home from work if you didn't?

Fair enough that he suggested you have a shower. I probably wouldn't have said anything if I were him, because I wouldn't really care if partner hadn't had a shower for 24 hours, but the standard advice for Mumsnetters whose male partners want to go to bed less than fragrant is 'He's a disgusting pig, just tell him he stinks, it's gross' so I assume most people are fussier than I am.

Given that you say it was only 'starting' to get dark when you were out around 8pm, I'm assuming you aren't in the UK and live somewhere warm, because here it's fully dark by 5pm in January, so if it's summer where you live you definitely need a shower after two days of multiple walks.

I’m a size 8 trying to get back into my size sixes again

Of course.

He’s an adult. Don’t baby him.

out exercising then go to bed sweaty? Just no... then exercising again the next day without washing - thats minging. I wouldn't put up with anyone like that... surely your bed smells if you go to bed sweaty after a workout?

As for the walk, i think he's kind of right... you could have chivvied him along a bit. Maybe he felt there was nothing to rush for?

Just don’t make arrangements with him. Or say you’re leaving at 7 and if he wants to come then, fine. If not, no problem.

I don’t like it when you try to arrange things with people and they make their crapness your problem. And your fault.

You sound like hard work to me, frankly.

"I was a bit surprised he wasn’t worried about me being out in the dark on my own as well." - why should he be worried about you being outside alone at 8pm? Are you in an area that's rife for women being snatched from the streets on Sundays? All a bit dramatic, isn't it?

Yabu about the shower thing. Its basic hygienez

I have inherited poor heart health but have a much healthier lifestyle than my Mother who had already had 2 heart attacks by 60, which is the age I am almost at. I saw a cardiologist last week who praised me for my regular walks and said that walking was massively underrated and that too many people thought the gym was the only real exercise.

It would have annoyed me, plus could he not have recorded the programme.

Ringing 10 minutes into the walk is odd, he’s already said he’s watching something and you’ve left.

Keeping you waiting was unreasonable. You shouldn’t have rang once you made the decision to go alone and it probably didn’t need further explanation he didn’t really want to go and you did so you went. His shitty comment about showering was out of order

It all sounds very silly - but he’s not wrong to ask you to have a shower!

Considering you had been on walks day before and not showered and gone to bed then 3 weeks the next day and were sitting on the bed. I don't think his comment is that mean. I'd be grossed out the day before, let alone the day after I would have changed the bedsheets. Doesn't matter if you think you were sweaty or not.

On the walking bit. While I do agree when you agree a time that's the time, I also think when it's just you and your partner and there are no real plans for the rest of the day then if you really want him with you then you wait for him. Especially as you had already done two walks that day. 🤷‍♀️ So in this case I do think you are being ott. But tbf he wasn't bothered either it seems so not even worth having a tat over something so mundane.

Considering you had been on walks day before and not showered and gone to bed then 3 weeks the next day and were sitting on the bed. I don't think his comment is that mean. I'd be grossed out the day before, let alone the day after I would have changed the bedsheets. Doesn't matter if you think you were sweaty or not.

On the walking bit. While I do agree when you agree a time that's the time, I also think when it's just you and your partner and there are no real plans for the rest of the day then if you really want him with you then you wait for him. Especially as you had already done two walks that day. 🤷‍♀️ So in this case I do think you are being ott. But tbf he wasn't bothered either it seems so not even worth having a tat over something so mundane.

Agree with all this.

You both sound a bit childish. He should have just said "actually I can't be arsed to go any more", and/or you should have said "if you can't be arsed I'll just go on my own"

You shouldn't have rang him, that's weird, he told you he wanted to watch something till 8. You shouldn't pretend to be scared of the dark when you decided to go out. He shouldn't pretend that he was about to leave when he wasn't. All the pretending and skirting around rather than being direct is what's childish.

Agree with @Patchworkquilts . If you've been for 3 walks today and also exercised yday and appear to be getting into bed it's not unreasonable to ask if you're going to shower. I rely on my DH as an honest artiber of when I stink or have greasy hair (and I happily repay the favour to him)

Some very weird comments on the thread OP.

I would have been extremely exasperated by his, quite frankly, rude and inconsiderate behaviour.

If he wanted to watch the TV programme he should have just told you he hd changed his mind about going and told you to go by yourself. Instead he just messed you about.

It sounds as though he doesnt think.you are important otherwise he wouldn't tell you one thing and do another.

And the shower comment was downright nasty.

Your H doesn't come out of this very well at all OP.

i really don't think it's something to argue about, if we had agreed 7pm, and he wasn't ready I would just go without him without any fuss.

6 of one, half a dozen of the other

It sounds like you finished eating and went "OK let's go walking" whilst he wanted to wait a bit

When it got to 7 and he said it would be another 15 minutes you should have said "OK, 15 minutes and then I'm going"

If he wasn't ready, you either go alone or, if he says he'll be 5 minutes, firmly say "5 minutes. I told you I was going now."

Choosing to strop out and then call him and then moan about him not coming to protect you because it was dark was all childish

His comment about your time was badly worded but I get his point. "My time is important and I could have done some jobs at home had I known how long it would be" is an answer

Regarding the showering - it was a little childish but MNers are always advocating for telling your children (and partner!) they stink and absolutely must shower

All sounds a bit petty on both sides and I'd be saying "look, sorry we fell out over that", and expecting him to say the same back.

However I find it bizarre that you'd expect him to be worried about you being out alone after dark. You're a grown adult and It wasn't even 8pm! I mean, it's dark at 4 in midwinter - should he worry about you being out at 4?

YANBU. I have a friend who does this and it annoys me. You didn’t have anything else to do so could have gone at any time, BUT the point is that because a time had been agreed, you were just hanging around waiting. You didn’t start watching a TV show or tidying up or whatever because you thought you were going out.

The comment about the shower is just pathetic.

Are you in the UK?

Only, if so, I am a bit mystified why you would wait until after dinner before going for a walk. It wasn't the greatest day, weather -wise, but surely a walk is more fun in the daylight.

I like a walk. But I wouldn't be allowed that keen to go out in the cold and dark after my Sunday dinner

He’s an idiot. He should have just said “Actually go on without me, I’ve gone down a rabbit hole with this program and I’ve got to finish it.” It’s rude to let you wait around on him when he’d obviously changed his mind.

The bathing comment was fair given your description. You absolutely need to bathe daily, full stop. Even if hanging around not exerting yourself, because our bodies produce oils and other secretions constantly. If you’ve walked you will smell sour and gross. If you’ve walked three times I’m afraid to say you will reek of sour stale sweat.

It all sounds too complicated to me, it feels very robotic i know there was agreement but my husband and I make a loose agreement one of us forgets or doesn't feel like it the other has a grumble we move on

If i wanted a walk i would mentioned i will go in 10 mins or whatever join me or not and just went on my own