To feel bad for Helen Flanagan here?

But she can't afford to be a SAHM. It is shit, but it's equally shit for anyone in her position. After a divorce or separation most mum's have to go to work. She's no different to anyone else.

Unfortunately the children have nothing to do with the reason why a father won't pay maintenance.

It's because the maintenance gets paid to the mother & these fathers who won't pay maintenance just can't stand the thought of the ex having their money, forgetting that the money is spent on providing for the children.

So not paying maintenance is a weapon used to threaten & hurt the resident parent except the real victims are the children.

Reading the report, it says he’s offered to buy her a 4 bedroom house in the same area, but she wants to stay in the 6 bedroom one…no I don’t feel sorry for her, would love someone to buy me a 4 bed house 😂 plus he’s paid for where she’s living and all bills, maintenance etc for almost four years

I can't imagine a man who wouldn't want to pay to support his children, even if the mum went out to work. So she gets more acting jobs, fine, but they're still his children. It seems strange.

She wasn’t married. She was very unwise to be a sahm unmarried.
Living in a house he solely owns she has less rights than a lodger. She’s there due to his goodwill, he could ask her to leave tonight. Calling him a dickhead in press isn’t best move when you are relying on goodwill.
He of course is required to financially support his children but he had no legal responsibility to an ex girlfriend.
Different if they were married. Presumably he didn’t want to yet she had 3 children in full knowledge of her legal status. She’d have been better working ft and buying her own home.

She was a child actress, so often accountants will advise on how to invest money.
Anyway, she's got a part in a play, so that could well lead to other work.

I agree @mumofoneAloneandwell being a SAHM is a job, in fact it's multiple jobs. Re, the women who go to paid employment as well, many of these will outsource to childminders, nannies, cleaners, laundry services, etc. The SAHM will do all the work these people do herself.

Working mums - especially full time ones - do NOT do a full time job- and 'everything else as well' (that a SAHM does.) They just don't.

And I say this as someone who has been a SAHM, a part time working mum, and a full time working mum.

SAHM is a little bit of a privilege but it's not an easy life for everyone, and it IS a job. (Indeed, multiple jobs as I said.) Frankly it's demeaning and insulting to say 'it's not a job.'

I wish she wouldn't because one day her children will be able to read it all. But hurt people aren't always the most rational.

Hollyoaks 😂😂 don't think I've seen that since the early 2000s. If it's like it used to be then she might she be a bit * whispers old for them. 😬

Obviously it is an agreed way to live.
If one's partner doesn't support the situation then they both need to work outside the home, of course.

Or they can separate.

The worlds smallest violin playing specially for her.

Why does he have to fund her living beyond her means? He has resposibility for the paying towards the children and that is all.

The story you linked says he’s been paying for the 6 bedroom house plus all bills FOR 4 YEARS, I expect that’s a hefty cost; it’s really not unreasonable for him to request that they sell a too big house to move somewhere smaller (4 bedrooms would still give each child their own room).

It’s also not unreasonable for a single parent of school age children to go out to work. I’m one of those people and it’s absolutely fine. No adult should rely on another to fully fund their lifestyle unless that’s what’s been agreed between two of them; that’s no longer the case here. Unfortunately that’s the reality of the aftermath of a relationship breakdown.

What about those who want to continue to be SAHM forever against the wants of the other
partner?

Long term SAHM who are not married deserve to have 'marital' assets split like married people. In Australia that is how it is even without children.
It makes people think very seriously before taking the step of moving in together.

This belief only works if you have good support either in the form of an ex partner or extended family. I am a single parent with a professional career and since divorcing my ex husband, I have found full time work a challenge alongside single parenting. It is a constant hamster wheel of managing school, childcare, sickness, activities, normal childhood emotions. Women are sold a fantasy that we can be all to everyone including our children snd the workplace when in reality, that is rarely true.

I agree with Op.
Her ex is not treating her like he values her contributions to their family life.
He should be considering how his children could still be flourishing. He could make the transition easier for her and the children; be supportive for longer, if he has the means.

I think she and the children are finding the adjustment to her job difficult. It will take a while to get used to her new, longer work hours.

SAHM is a job.
Many people work one and a half jobs to subsidize it's no pay.

Gardener is a job.
Many people work one and a half jobs to subsidize it's no pay.

Laundry operator is a job.
Many people work one and a half jobs to subsidize it''s no pay.

They ruined her. Turned her from a feisty teenage goth into a seductive man eater going after 35 year old teachers (when she was 17!)

😆You're taking it well! 😂

To be absolutely fair, not only he is a lower league footballer but footballing careers are short- even 40k a week for 5 years isn’t income for the other 60 years of your life.

he wouldn’t be able to afford it long term and seems like he can’t now.

Seperation is hard, you have to expect changes