How much sympathy would you have for a colleague in this situation?

Novel approach to being sympathetic! It's possible to have some, but only if you tell Moira in accounts exactly what's up, and explain exactly how you are fixing the problem. She'll decide whether you get a supportive smile or a cats bum face. People like this need a firm MYOB.

OP, don't worry about this. And I say this a a full time professional in the corporate world, also a mother of two (one autistic). Your life and your priorities have changed and it will take a minute for your body and your brain to adjust. The toddler years were the most difficult for me and I also had the brilliant idea to add a newborn to the toddler madness. I think it's normal to go through this and nothing to be worried about. I also have to say that my toddler was the same as yours when it came to his sleep...he slept enough hours but don't ask me what that took out of me. My toddler turned out to be autistic. I have some sort of trauma from those first years.

The only thing I would caution you long term is to be careful that your work ethic doesn't slip below what's acceptable. The guilt, shame and stress of going from an over achiever to a slacker because of what was happening at home was intense and it took me changing jobs to become myself again. You really don't want to go through what I did because I let work slip too much.

It's none of your business.

Have sympathy, or don't.

But don't make it conditional on the employee demonstrating what they are doing to deal with her DC's sleep issues.

(Of course if the situation changed and work / your work was being impacted, that's another conversation).

You have my full sympathies.

Being a mother and working is incredibly difficult, especially when you’re running on empty.

Do you have a DP?
Could you take it in turns and one of you go bed really early eg 6pm

Sleep and decent food are your priorities right now.

Just to send you sympathy OP, I was you for a long while. I didn’t get any sympathy - nor did I expect it - but equally I don’t think anyone judged me for my output, dark circles or caffeine intake. But just to give you some hope… just before Christmas my DS started sleeping through the night and has done since. He went from being up all night to sleeping through like a flick of a light switch. You will get there.

Honestly OP…there are loads of people getting plenty of sleep, no physical or mental health issues, under no particular stress who are completely incompetent or uninterested/lazy at work because it’s just who they are as a person.

Men aren’t making sure their hair is freshly washed and they have a full face of make up on for work…they are spending that time getting extra sleep. You’re fine.

Honestly OP…there are loads of people getting plenty of sleep, no physical or mental health issues, under no particular stress who are completely incompetent or uninterested/lazy at work because it’s just who they are as a person.

Men aren’t making sure their hair is freshly washed and they have a full face of make up on for work…they are spending that time getting extra sleep. You’re fine.

Honestly OP…there are loads of people getting plenty of sleep, no physical or mental health issues, under no particular stress who are completely incompetent or uninterested/lazy at work because it’s just who they are as a person.

Men aren’t making sure their hair is freshly washed and they have a full face of make up on for work…they are spending that time getting extra sleep. You’re fine.

Honestly OP…there are loads of people getting plenty of sleep, no physical or mental health issues, under no particular stress who are completely incompetent or uninterested/lazy at work because it’s just who they are as a person.

Men aren’t making sure their hair is freshly washed and they have a full face of make up on for work…they are spending that time getting extra sleep. You’re fine.

As a mum of 2 little ones, I would have your back💐

Plenty as I'm not a complete b*tch.

Some people hit the jackpot and have kids that sleep well, others have utter hell for years on end. Most of us have 2 children with completely different sleep patterns as babies so it's not nurture.

As someone who's had kids and managed lots of others, you need to roll with it for a bit and assume they are probably going to be sub par for a while. If it's not sleep, it's because their kids are picking up all kinds of bugs and passing them right to their parents. Giving people some latitude to cope the best they can usually breeds some sort of loyalty and pay back in extra effort long term. Being a dick, means they are out of there as soon as they can take the risk on being the "last in", in another company.

Sometimes there ar epoeple who take the p*ss. Think that they somehow have it worse than EVERYBODY else who's ever had kids. That they have the sole right to Christmas off, the school holiday window of annual leave or first dibs on flexi time to have every Friday off just because they have children. Having kids is a lifestyle choice so they can suck it up or find a job that works better for them. Getting through the early years needs some support though.

I would have a lot of sympathy provided that there were no safety implications…if they were a pharmacist or a pilot or something then sympathy or not, it cannot be tolerated.

I would have sympathy because I’m not a sociopath.

Well if they hadn't told you they'd not slept would you be able to tell? You say no mistakes have been made. So I wouldn't be premtively annoyed at someone in case the 'might' do something wrong, no. That would be a waste of my time.

If she kept fucking up then I'd be annoyed. But it wouldn't be anything to do with the fact she has a baby. Or that she had no sleep. I can't control when staff go to bed. Or how easily and well the sleep.

Most people don't announce the number of somnent hours they experience. So I'd just be annoyed they were making mistakes.

I would have a lot of sympathy and so would the organisation I work for.

You looking a bit knackered and needing a lot of coffee is not going to annoy anyone, OP, and if it does then it’s their problem, not yours. It sounds like you’re doing your job more than adequately. Life changes a lot after having a baby - even if they sleep well - and you do not have any obligation to remain your perky pre-baby self.

I'd have some sympathy

How much would depend to what extent the colleague was addressing the situation eg sleep training or making a rod for their own back

Having been in that situation myself, my sympathy and patience would be almost limitless.

Not all companies are like this.

Yes, I've been treated brutally at times too, so I know why you say this but many organisations are also supportive and genuinely want the best for their staff.

Sympathy? I think she needs help, guidance and encouragement. Maybe just talk to her, she could be having a harder time than you think

I would be very supportive and probably encourage her to document anything of note incase they tried to fire her or manage her out. Companies are souless entities that do not care about their employees. If you died on shift they would replace you before your body had gone cold, so I always try and support my colleagues over the company. That’s probably why I’m self employed now tho.

If I was your colleague, I'd have nothing but sympathy and would actively see how I could support you in work. I'm a manager and I do would what I could to offer support and enable flexibility.

You are doing an amazing job and you have all my sympathy (fellow single mother and I know the stress of parenting / working).

The PP who says she doesn't care about her fellow employees, only professionally - I could not work like this, and I do not. I actively hate that 'leave your private life at the door' shite. We are all whole people dealing with complex life challenges, whatever they are - sometimes work, sometimes personal - and as work colleagues, we do best when we support, reasonably, each other to the best of our abilities.

I would try to be sensitive to my colleague's need for a nap.
Agree to help identify a place for them to snooze for their lunch hour.
Their work performance needs sleep.

I'd stop worrying about whether you're annoying anybody to be honest...you're in survival mode right now, and you just need to focus on getting through each day. Never mind how anyone else feels about it!

Oh - haha, how did I miss that?!