Where do you hide your running away fund

When I separated from my ex in 2020, my solicitor told me to do a “ stuffed sock” savings scheme - get some money in cash from the bank and also cash back at the supermarket each week to build up a secret fund! I had to hide this money in the house as if I put it in a bank account, my husbands solicitor might do a search for it. With three teenage children in the house I had to be creative where I his it so I had some in a tampax box, some in my Christmas card stash, some in my knicker drawer etc.

Then when I went on holiday and had £4000 hidden away, I wanted a more secure place so I emptied out a box of veggie burgers in the freezer ( my children hated them so I knew they would never open the box, and stuffed my notes inside it! It remained in the freezer until 2004 when the divorce went through and I had £5k in total. I had to give my ex all our savings and the proceeds from selling a caravan and a boat in order to buy him out of the house so I started my single life with a buffer of £5k which he never knew about!

My children laugh about it now but for me it really was security for our our new life post divorce.

However, I don’t think you need to so secretive, just put your money into an online high interest account or an ISA, I put some of my inheritance from my Mum into a Leeds Building Society account and only have online access and get all correspondence as emails, no physical letters or statements. I also opted for no notifications as well even though I’m not keeping the account secret, I just get fed up with notifications constantly popping up on my phone!

Open an account in your name, and choose paperless billing if it’s an option in your country. If he ever finds out you can tell him it’s because he is terrible with money and someone needs to save for the future.

I think it depends if he can see a random notification on your phone pop up from a different account or bank. You don't want to be caught on the hop.
I haven't read all your replies sorry, does he do much housework? If he's not often in the kitchen there are a few places to hide cash easily.as long as you remember where you've put it each time. X

How will you explain where the money came from to pay medical bills and for Disney? You can have secret savings but the spending won't be secret.

If i felt like i had to hide money from DH it would be a huge red flag for me.

When I lived with my parents I had a running away fund for when I had enough for my own flat. MY parents had no access to my bank account and as I was paid by transfer they had no idea what my salary was. This was back in the 1960s when fewer people had bank accounts.

If it was now I would open one of those online accounts separate from my main bank account.

It's not about being greedy or keeping more for yourself. It's about making sure that you are never trapped in a dosmetic violence situation because of lack of access to money in order to get away.

It's hidden because if the abusive partner knew about it they would remove access to stop you from leaving.

It's nothing to do with screwing your partner over. It's about making sure you can get somewhere safe when shit hits the fan.

So when he was earning more you wanted to share but now you're earning more you want to keep more. And on top of that, you want to conceal this. Yes, you are right, of course it's a piss take and very unhealthy for a true relationship. But if you already know that, why do it?

If a man did this to a woman, Mumsnet would be up in arms. But it seems to be ok if its a woman screwing a man over.

Not a running away account, but suggest premium bonds if you want an easy access pot, or an ISA in your name if DH fritters it.

Obviously don’t actually keep cash in the house.

Open revolut acvount on your phone . Or monzo.
Move money there.
Surely you have at least one current account in your name only?
Or go to any high street bank with id and adress etc and open an account

Definitely open an account in a separate bank. Make an appointment and explain your situation. They will understand why you don't want any post sent.

Exactly, I don't know why some posters are being so clever about the idea of a running away fund. No-one thinks they need it till they need it.

Please don't hide cash in the house, what if it gets stolen or there is a fire?

There are 100s of different banks and accounts out there and I'd be amazed if any force you to receive a paper statement through the post. Quite the opposite in fact, everything's online

Why are you only thinking about the same bank? Is you access to the internet restricted in some way?

You can open an online savings account in a few minutes. I got one from Chase which had the best rates recently. Instant access so no worries about taking it out when you need it. There are plenty of options that would be safer than leaving cash hidden somewhere.

Perhaps you should have read between the lines that i was encouraging OP to think about why she feels she needs to, to consider whether it's a safety issue and the risks first, rather than just telling her what to do. Because perhaps she has enough of that at home already and needs a chance to think about how she wants to take control and if her idea of hiding money is the right way.

But please, jump down my throat some more and assume I'm being superior. Helpful of you.

The OP isn’t married to her partner…..

You have to declare this in a divorce.

You can open bank accounts that have NO bills sent to the house, and is done via an app and emails.

Just go into a bank with identification and open your own account. Either keep it secret from him or be honest. Tell him you're sick of him squandering all the money, he has ignored all your requests not to, so the only way to set some savings aside is to have a separate account that he cannot access.

I would then have your salary paid into this account, then transfer a sum of money each month into the joint account to pay for joint expenses.

Which is better than burning the cash but.....

Just invest it

Set up a monzo account. Takes 2 minutes and you get no post.

For anyone reading this thread becuase theyre thinking about needing a running away fund. Try to get a loan. I fudged my income. It's not legal really so you won't be advised to do it by any services but its not gonna bite you on the arse and it's better than being murdered by him.

As someone who’s been through divorce I get the cash envelope thing if you’re married as anything in bank accounts will need disclosing even if it’s in your name as the division basis for divorce is 50-50%.

⬆️⬆️⬆️

YY to that.
Also when time will come to do the accounts, theres no way you’re going to be able to taxes if everything is mixed with normal day to day spending. Saying that from experience!
It’s a oerfect situation fir you.