MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

Well done @Elliee0810 . Stick to your (very sensible) guns. This pregnancy and newborn are too precious to let your sister jeopardise any of it.

I feel for your parents. If she changes her mind, and allows MIL to stay with your dc upstairs you and your DH could go as guests, no special roles, but even in those circumstances prepare her for the fact that you might not be up to going at all.

maybe if she becomes a parent herself in the future she will be able to understand your perspective and feel suitably embarrassed at her behaviour.

We had a child free wedding however knowing my friend was due a few weeks before our wedding we opened the invite to include the baby and 3 year old. Personally I wouldn't attend.

has your sister said why exactly she feels like this?
My nephew was 10 days old when I got married, we would not have even considered him not being at the wedding. I have photos of me holding him etc, in hindsight that could have been a mistake had he vomited on me! But essentially weddings are about the bride and groom celebrating with their friends and family. I really feel for you, but you are doing the right thing. Your sister will regret her decision

I can't believe she wouldn't accept your MIL upstairs with the baby as a solution! It's you that would have had to deal with people asking where the baby is/could they see it/hold it etc. For dealing with that all day and steadfastly being her MOH, she should have helped you come up with what to say to people, and been super grateful.

She should also have accepted you might not even be able to come! And had backup without complaint.

(Any decent sister would also get MIL some catering/room service for helping her have you in the wedding party, but that's by the by.)

Wow, and she’s your sister? What a self centred bitch! I would stay away and if anyone asks why you tell them exactly why.

Yes, you want your wedding day to be about you AND YOUR SPOUSE, but to be jealous of a baby is just sick, frankly.

Like others have said, you have fought for this baby and early days can be hard work. You need to concentrate on you and your little boy. Tell her to get another MoH and then stay well away from the whole thing.

Good luck.

And she's your sister?
Geeez, I'm glad to see you are no longer attending. She needs to get over herself!

She is being a selfish tw@ id tell her now you can no longer be MOH your baby comes first and you will not want ( and if breastfeeding won't be able) to be away from baby so young . Tell her you will attend the ceremony and then you will need to leave .

I breastfed and between 4-6 weeks old would have wanted baby in my arms most of the time, upstairs with mil at a push and only if he wasn't cluster feeding and settled/happy. In a separate building - no way. Bottle feeding may be easier or if you can pump and leave mil upstairs with some milk. It will become apparent for you after baby is born and you establish how you're feeding what you can and can't do.

Your sister is within her rights to want a child free wedding but to banish baby from the same hotel is OTT and unreasonable.

Your sister sounds very insecure and a bit of a bridezilla if im honest. I think you should just decline now. Its not just about the day itself, but what about all the dress fittings etc how will you cope with them if you're due so close. What about organising the hen do etc im sure it's all stress you could do without heavily pregnant / very soon after giving birth. I think your sister will be very unreasonable nearer to the wedding if this is what she is like now.

Oh goodness, how awful for all of you. I’m so sorry.

Just tell your sister right now no tiny baby at the wedding even upstairs then no MOH. If sister won't negotiate then you definitely can't. Leaving this precious weeks old baby else where is preposterous and unbelievably selfish on sisters part. You would definitely not be ok with any such arrangement. Take care and don't worry.

Your sister is being unreasonable and selfish. Words fail me.

Your sister is being awful looks like she needs to find a new MOH or she needs to get a grip of herself and stop being an attention seeking brat.
I personally wouldn’t go you have no idea how you are going to be after delivery and as a mum I can tell you you absolutely won’t want to be away from your precious bundle of joy that soon after giving birth.

No way on this earth would i have left ds at 4-6 weeks BF or not for a few hours never mind a day or 2.
It's your call but I would tell her you can't come.

Wow. Your sister is being completely unreasonable. How on earth would your baby “steal the limelight” by being upstairs in a hotel? That really does feel like bridezilla behavior.
It’s totally understandable that you’re offended. Being separated from your baby at just 4–6 weeks postpartum would be incredibly difficult, both emotionally and practically. You need to be able to get to your baby quickly if they need you — or if you need them. If you’re breastfeeding, that makes things even more complicated; you simply can’t be away from a newborn for hours at a time.
If she’s insisting on this, then at the very least she should be prepared to cover the cost of a nearby hotel room or Airbnb and accept that you’ll need to step away from the wedding multiple times, possibly for hours, factoring in feeding and travel time. Even then, it feels like a completely unfair expectation.
Honestly, after a request like that, I’d be inclined to say you’ll attend as a guest rather than as MOH, and that you won’t be able to stay long after the ceremony. What do your parents think about all of this?

My DS was my MOH when her baby was 6wks. Her DP stayed with baby at the venue all day so DS could enjoy herself, didn't hear a peep from DN. There was no way I wasn't having my DS or DN there. I even paid for their room. Your DS is being a selfish bitch I'm afraid.

Bridezilla, bale now before she gets into top gear.

I think your sister has really shown her true colours here!!! it's up to you if you have your newborn in a hotel room upstairs! What the hell does it have to do with her??? Selfish bint. if my sister spoke to me like that I'd be furious. But if you don't want to cause a huge family rift over her being a bridezilla then just tell her either your DH & baby stay upstairs/out of the way or none of you go at all.

First post nails it OP.

Good decision, OP. It's just sad that your sister is being such a batshit Bridezilla that she thinks a baby who isn't even at the ceremony or reception is going to take some precious attention from her 🙄

Just this.

Its too early.

I’ve rarely heard anything so bloody ridiculous. The OP’s solution is ideal. No one would even know the baby is up there.

What about if other, unconnected hotel guests have a baby in their room/s? Or has the sister paid for every room in the hotel to ensure an entirely säugling frei zone? Achtung! Säugling! 🙄

Your sister sounds delightful!! She can jog on, I'm surprised she wants ANY bridesmaids at all then she really could be the centre of attention.

Wtf is wrong with her? Has she always been a twat?