MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

Baby comes first and so do your feelings, don't go or go as a guest not MOH

I’m so sorry OP, your sister is an absolute horror.

She doesn’t want to be upstaged by her own sister’s brand new baby, even if said baby is in a room in another part of the venue, but she’s ok with everyone at the wedding discussing the fact that her sister is not in attendance and why?

I had to go to a friend's wedding at a similar time. I just went to church whilst husband sat outside with baby. I watched service and then went home with them. I couldn't have been separated at that age

I’m sorry but I’ve never read anything so selfish - if u were my sister I would want you and my neice/nephew there - stealing the limelight? She needs to grow up!! Just don’t go

She's jealous of a baby because she thinks it'll take some attention away from her. Oh dear.

Your parents rightly should be upset—their daughter is banning their grandchild/her nephew!

I’m frequently baffled by the mumsnet ‘I couldn’t leave my child till they were 6 months for more than 10 minutes’ brigade.

But your sister refusing to let MiL and baby on the premises when you are in postnatal period and will probably be breastfeeding 🤦🏻‍♀️. She’s absolutely insane and completely out of order. Poor MIL too I mean seriously.

There is no way you should go along with this madness. I have no words to describe your sister. You need to be with your baby who will need you. Cancel attending the wedding and no apologies ~ your place is with your baby.

A couple of hours from a newborn has always been ok with me ,actually nice to have my arms back ….but on my terms,being told that my baby is not allowed in the same building as me is not ok regardless of the reason!
I actually feel bad for your parents trying to navigate their daughter’s self absorption! Bloody shocking.X

Doesn’t want baby on the premises in a hotel room? Sister is unhinged

This is beyond selfish of your sister. I get people can get swept up in it being “their day” but this is ridiculous. Her wedding day is not more important than your literal human child.

Your sisters poor attitude aside… what if you give birth 2 weeks late? Due dates are not a given so you may end up with a much younger baby than you think on her wedding day. What if you need a C section? Not to scare you but some of my friends had less than quick recoveries after their sections and still needed help showering 4-6 weeks post partum, nowhere near capable of fulfilling MOH duties. There are plenty more what ifs.

Are you planning to breastfeed? If so you will
literally NEED access to your baby every few hours, even if you introduce a bottle for them but are wanting to breastfeed you would atoll
need to slip away from the wedding every few hours to pump to maintain your supply and stop your boobs from exploding.

More to the point what if you don’t WANT to leave your baby? You won’t know what type of parent you will be on that topic until your baby is here. I would manage your sisters expectations now and make sure she has a plan B for the day if you can’t attend last minute or accept that you are withdrawing if she isn’t happy with this.

basically your sister shouldn’t even be expecting you to attend her wedding let alone be expecting to attend without your baby! What is your mum saying about her attitude? Surely people are telling her she’s being unreasonable.

If you do breastfeed then no it absolutely won't be possible to leave the baby at this age for more than about an hour. They feed all the time. You could try introducing combination feeding - I tried with mine but no luck. Both completely rejected a bottle, whether of my milk or formula. I tried many different bottles and techniques. And also why should you if your only reason is your sister's demands? And even if you somehow managed a longer period away from the baby you'd need to express every so often, if breastfeeding, for your own comfort.

I think the best thing to do would be to say to your sister that you should be ok for the ceremony with the baby parked in a car outside or being pushed in the pram outside (with MIL of course) but you can't attend the rest of the day.

Obviously if you aren't breastfeeding it's more doable but still unpleasant for you and the baby. They need you at this age.

I think you are wildly underestimating how you’ll feel post partum. There is no way I would have left my baby at that age. Remove yourself from the wedding now and be done with it. Your sister sounds vile

Absolutely not. I attended a family wedding with my 4 week old baby earlier this year. They slept most of the day but I absolutely could not have left them - breastfeeding or not.

If this was my sister and given your past experiences, I would be sending my apologies now and I could never ever forgive her.

uou are right not to go

In a year or two, your sister will have her own baby and will realise what an unreasonable brat she was

I suspect in a few years time your sister may look back and be appalled by how she behaved.

I bloody hope so. I had to go back and read the first post again as I thought I must have misunderstood; nobody could be that self-centered and uncaring surely? Well apparently they can, so well done OP for refusing to be part of this charade.

Your sister sounds like a complete arsehole. Id not go. Never mind her resenting you. If i was you id have some big time resentment for her and her ridiculousness

I hope your parents can manage to come up with something that works for you both - I really thought your suggestion seemed very reasonable so I don't think compromise feels like the answer here!

I suspect in a few years time your sister may look back and be appalled by how she behaved.

Good god, your sister needs to get over herself

Glad you pulled out OP. Once thay baby comes along you will not want to be separated for one hour let alone 1 day

If he telling her now that your no longer MOH

Fuck that shit!

I hope your sister comes to her senses.

God OP I’m so sorry this has all happened! I agree with PP that your sister is being WILDLY unreasonable and staggeringly selfish. I’m so sorry you’ve had to pull out but it was without a doubt the right thing to do. I hope it can be resolved without too much more heartache! Congratulations on your little miracle ❤️❤️❤️

Bridezilla alert! I have rarely come across such breathtaking self entitlement. Give your apologies now, and enjoy your time together as a new family.
i once knew a couple who refused to have any children or babies at their wedding. We gave our excuses. It turns out nearly everyone else did. (We were all of an age to have small children and babies). Hardly anyone went. I’m sure the couple enjoyed their day with their ‘rather fine choir’ and exquisite cuisine at the hotel, but they did it with hardly anyone there. Many guests and family have babies; it goes with the territory of being in your 20s and 30s. She’ll be without a MOH, but at least the wedding will be about her.

I totally agree with all of the above.
No you absolutely won’t want to leave your baby that early. We had 2 newborn babies at our wedding. They slept and fed. We were just really glad their parents came. We had lots of other children too and they brought so much joy it was lovely to have them.

I’m guessing your sister doesn’t have children so has no idea how unacceptable and ridiculous this is. Maybe one day she will understand but for now I would politely decline. Do you have anyone else like your own mum or another sibling to talk to her and explain how mental this is?