MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

I’m incredulous that anyone has voted YABU.
Tell your sister that you are not able to attend and enjoy your newborn without the stress.

People like your sister make me really grateful that I’m an only child OP

Sorry OP - this would make me hate my sister so much.
In my opinion, neither you nor your DH should take part in this wedding. Pull out now. You will want to be with your baby. You dont even know what state you’ll be in at that point. I was a wreck. If you pull out now, hopefully you will minimise any resentment that I would be feeling in your place. Your sister is being a total bitch, but hopefully you can put that to the side

Pull out now and be clear to your sister wish her a great day but you can't be away from a newborn for that amount of time.

Your sister is also being a complete bridezilla!

I think your sister’s attitude is absolutely shocking, and there’s no way I would be going under those circumstances. Yes of course it’s her special day, but surely thst doesn’t mean that the whole day is only arranged around her wishes and sod anyone else’s really valid needs. You’re her sister and if she can’t make the slightest compromise to enable you to attend then you and your husband will be better off staying away.

Congratulations on your pregnancy 😊 Not to put the fear of God into you, but with my firstborn at 4-6 weeks postpartum I was in a lot of physical discomfort (episiotomy with complicated healing, bleeding on and off and found walking or being on my feet for too long difficult). My son had feeding difficulties as well so that was really stressful - so practically (never mind emotionally!) I couldn't have been away from him.

My SiL gave birth six weeks before my wedding - our niece was there, I adapted my SiL's bridesmaid dress so that she could feed and we literally gave her the room next to the venue so that she could nip and put for privacy to feed as needed. This was before we had kids ourselves but it was really important that everyone at our wedding felt comfortable and welcome.

I'm really sorry that your sister appears to have gone full-on bridezilla OP. I'm your situation as hard as it would be I don't think I could see any other option other than not going if she's going to stick to her guns.

You absolutely will not want to spend a few days away from such a small newborn

presumably, you dont plan to breastfeed

Honestly I’m all for child free weddings… but she’s being mental! I had 2 sil with babies 6 weeks old at mine and they didn’t steal my day, they enhanced it. One was a bridesmaid and she had free reign to do whatever she needed

She has to accept you are a mum and baby is a priority.. if you’re breastfeeding you can’t be far away as you can’t starve your child and it won’t be in a schedule at that point. imagine your mil trying to console a crying hungry newborn… with what?

Honestly tell her you love her, accept it’s her day but you can’t be part of it… you have no idea how you will be with those timings and at best I’d tell her you’ll make the ceremony as a guest only with dh and baby in car outside.

remind her of her bar shittery when she has a baby

Absolutely no way can you be away from a baby if that age for that long - she is being very very unreasonable

I don’t think I’ve ever been so hurt or offended in my life

No wonder OP.

I don't know if your sister has form for being self absorbed, self centered and unkind but honestly I think your relationship will suffer lasting damage from this behaviour . When your longed for wonderful baby arrives you are going to remember this.

I agree with pp that of course you put your baby first and tell your sister now you won't be attending her wedding.

Gosh what the hell is that about with the limelight - fine to be upstairs in the hotel

• do that or don’t go

your sister is being a right cow 🐮

She’s being a cow. Does she really want you travelling to and from the venue several times in the day possibly for long periods.
I wouldn’t bother, quite possibly you’ll miss it all anyway.
DD was 2 weeks overdue. At 5 weeks I was okay, at 2 weeks I was a mess.

Is your sister usually this insecure or just a bridezilla. Either way, she's being completely unreasonable.
A child free wedding is one thing, not allowing a newborn to be on the premises even hidden upstairs is just too much.
I would tell her now that neither you nor your DH will be at the wedding as you have more important priorities. And don't feel guilty about this - this is entirely her doing.

If your 4 week old baby isn’t welcome, then neither are you. Bow out and say she needs to find another MOH.

You might think you and your sister are close but she clearly doesn’t.
You need to decline now because when baby arrives you’ll realise you don’t want to do it.

Sorry your sisters an arse.

is your sister a child bride? Strange attitude to have about niece/nephew

Some people get so very odd over weddings. Your sister is being super weird. I cant imagine ever telling a pregnant woman that I would 'resent' their newborn for anything.

Completely baffling.

I would decline given the restrictions.

The baby being at the hotel but away in a room is a compromise from you, she isn’t willing to make any.

She is right it is her day, let her make her choices but there are consequences to choices.

The irony that was never lost on me was that people that I know who were the most insistent on these kinds of restrictions went on to become extremely PFB after.

You will feel extremely crap when she has the most “precious baby to ever live” and you are faced with the fact that you had to leave your child alone at 4 weeks old.

I don't think it's viable for you to attend if she won't allow the baby to be on-site. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I think you'll have to give your apologies to your sister - that's so soon after birth, I can't imagine it will be feasible for you to be away from them for an entire day or longer.

I would 100% pull out now. There is no way at 6 weeks I would have wanted to be away from my baby for more than hour - yes everyone is different but I’m guessing many wouldn’t.

Sister is being very silly as everyone at the wedding who knows you will know you have just given birth and will be asking about baby, what she going to do ban baby talk for the day?

Back out now and don’t be made to feel bad. I’m shocked your sister is behaving like that, would definitely make me see her in a different light. Your baby comes first.

One day your sister might understand what a massive that she's been. But unfortunately maybe not before the wedding.

You have a bigger responsibility to your child than your sister. Its time to decline.

I think it’s highly unlikely that you will want to be separated from your 6 week old baby for longer than an hour or two tbh. If you’re breastfeeding that adds a big complicating factor as you’ll need to pump every 2 hours or so.

If I were you, I’d tell her that the baby stays upstairs with MIL or I’m stepping away entirely. This is her niece or nephew that she’s choosing to compete with. She’s lost the plot!

You can't really leave a 4-6 week old breastfed baby even for 2-3 hours at a time, I would say. It may not even work with MIL upstairs, as you could be spending an hour away from the reception at a time.

Maybe you plan to bottlefeed, which might be easier for this event, but even then I wouldn't have wanted to be a car ride away from baby at that age.

Your sister is being utterly ridiculous.

Hard no. Seriously. Resign as MOH.

1. Your sister is a fucking monster.

1. Your first newborn? You will be totally overwhelmed, exhausted, fat, leaking milk. 4 weeks is still peak fussiness and cluster feeding time. You have NO idea how hard it's going to be. If you were formula feeding and it was your second or third rodeo, you could consider it.

You are in no position to be MOH or abandon your 4 week old for a whole day.

Your sister is being completely ridiculous and you won’t be able to or won’t want to leave your baby at that stage. My DD and her husband went to a wedding when baby was about 7 weeks old but baby was welcomed to the wedding by her sensible friend bride as she couldn’t have gone otherwise as was breastfeeding.

As others say, tell her you are sad but will have to stay home. Have you a mum still about to talk sense into her?