MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

Stay at home. It's only a wedding. Tell her where to shove her "I want to be special!" bullshit.

Your sister is being an absolute numpty, you can’t leave a month old baby for a day.
You both need to withdraw from having formal roles at the wedding as a minimum and possibly from the wedding altogether. Although you could go for a hour or maybe two with DH looking after the baby.
I would be viewing my dsis very differently at this point.

No way would I go. I take it she doesn’t know many new born babies! She sounds incredibly selfish.

I wouldn’t have left mine for more than 30 mins at that age as they were both breasted and little and often feeders at 4/6 weeks. They’d have been really upset.

You need a family member to explain new born babies and new mums to her so she realises what a ridiculous demand this is.

My god. She is DISGUSTING. Is there no family member who can talk some sense into her? Or did they all help to create Princess Bridezilla? Absolutely tell her if she can’t accept your incredibly reasonable solution you won’t be tolerating her nonsense and won’t be attending. End of.

Careful with the language there. I’m sure nobody who has to leave a baby at 4 weeks is “abandoning” them, merely leaving them with another adult who is perfectly able to care for them. OP may, of course, not want to be away from her baby, or feel up to it. But if someone chooses to (or indeed has no choice) there is nothing wrong with a baby being cared for by someone else who can meet their needs.

This is amongst the most batshit things I’ve read on here. Just echoing other posters. You won’t want to be separated from your baby, and probably when the baby is here any feeling you may have had about making any other decision than politely telling your sister to stick her crazy ideas where the sun don’t shine will rapidly melt away.

Step down

she’s being a total idiot

What a way to welcome a new family member her nephew...You can't make it under her conditions.

That's one selfish bride and unloving sister

Sister would be finding a new MOH if she were mine, and I’d be completely honest if (when) people asked why I’d withdrawn.

Tell her to fuck off and don’t go, frankly. Imagine being worried a baby will ‘steal your limelight’ simply by being in the same building as your wedding. What a knob.

Yeah ....... I wouldn't be going to the wedding. Regardless of the fact I was MOH. Sorry Sis, I'm afraid if baby can't even be 'hidden' in the same building then I'm afraid I can't come

I don't see how she can stop you from booking a room at the hotel where it's happening and brining someone to stay in room with baby while you keep popping back. She doesn't even really need to know?!

But of she's anti it then you can't go. Which is a shame as it doesn't affect her in any way.

I wouldn’t attend. That’s bonkers behaviour and I’m usually not bothered about child-free weddings, but this so far beyond reasonable your sister has lost all sight of how to behave. Stay home and cuddle your precious baby.

She's being extremely unreasonable and it's time for you to withdraw from being in the wedding party.

You will have a near newborn and you could deliver a little early or a little late and your baby could be cluster feeding and not be comfortable being away from you for long. Whichever, you are requesting a very reasonable accomodation to have your infant nearby and to stand up for your sister. But your infant takes priority and she is trying to make you choose her over your infant by being so rigid.

She's being a bitch.

I remember worrying about a 2 hour hair appointment

your sister is a dick. She will realise when she has her own baby

Wow your sister?!?! What a twat! Has she been reading American stories about how to be a bridezilla

What you are asking about is reasonable and to be expected. No way will you want your 4 wk old to be at another venue / location

your sister needs to be persuaded otherwise by eg mum, otherwise I can see this rupturing your relationship with her

I would decline your invitation and make it really clear that although I love my sister, I morally wouldn’t want to attend the wedding of somebody who
1 - cares so little for their neice/nephew
2 - is a selfish stuck up entitled cow!

World does not revolve around her, you’ve given perfectly reasonable options, if she is BANNING your baby from the venue, you will not be attending!

She's a right bridezilla. I'd send a message now "I've consulted with my DH and we've decided it's best we don't come to the wedding. The plan for the baby is too much to cope with possibly 4 weeks post birth. We hope you have a lovely day and look forward to hearing about it and seeing the photos."

Dial down on the drama and gracefully step aside. Ball is in her court then.

This. She is being utterly selfish and unreasonable.

You sister sounds pretty horribly self-centred and entitled TBH.

I’d be telling her that there’s no way I’ll be coming if my very tiny baby is not welcome.

What sort of person talks of a longed-for new baby stealing the limelight on their wedding day??

Wow your sister is absolutely awful! Decline to be MOH now and give some thought as to whether you will attend at all.

Your suggestion for MIL to be upstairs with the baby is perfect and if you need to nip upstairs to bf no one is even likely to notice. Your DSis is probably thinking that if people know your baby is upstairs they might want to leave her wedding to start trekking upstairs for a peek, but you would surely know to say no, baby is sleeping and you’ll catch up another time.

Honestly, sort this out now as you don’t need the stress of worrying about this.

Simple give your apologies and step down, she’s being ridiculous and should be a lot more understanding

I was quite relaxed at leaving my new born for an hour or two from about 10 days. A full day or overnight. Not a chance unless an emergency.

She’s an idiot. She’s your sister for gods sake. She’s out of line.

It is what it is.

She's made her priorities clear, you should be clear on yours too.

Its not that sensible for you to be moh anyway...but can work if people are reasonable... unfortunately your sister isnt reasonable or a good person. Sorry but she's not.

I'd step down as MOH and your DH step down as groomsman.
As she was my sister I'd be gracious enough to attend the ceremony.
so DH stays with baby and doesnt attend and i'd attend ceremony only then go be with my child.

At 4 weeks pp my second child was still (very unexpectedly) in NICU....you have no clue how this will play out and she doesnt give a shit about you or her niece/ nephew she just wants her "one perfect day" and to eat her cake and have it.