MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

Well, technically, yes, the baby (if bottle fed) will be fine being looked after by your MIL at home for a night, but it's not something I would want to do unless absolutely necessary. I can understand not wanting a baby at the wedding, but it's unreasonable to not want the baby in the same hotel! I think i would have to say now that, unfortunately, I would no longer be able to attend the wedding.

No new mum I know would leave their baby, even with their DH. At six weeks PP I definitely wouldn't, even with our third and a hands on, very capaple DH.
Your Dsis sounds awful. Is her DH not getting any attention on the day either? It's just her day? Honestly, I'd bow out now gracefully if she's behaving like this with months to go.

Honestly, does she really think the baby will steal her limelight? Ifs she having a childfree wedding or is it just your child that is not allowed? I would say now before anything goes any further that in that case unfortunately you won’t be able to attend. Are you planning on breastfeeding?

With my first, I have a very easy pregnancy and physically straightforward birth but had a PPH, I could not have done a whole wedding 4 or 6 weeks later. With my second I had an easy birth but would not have wanted to be away from them for 2 days at that stage. They are only so little once.

Bridezilla much?? Your sister is being really selfish and I pity her if she feels her own baby niece or nephew will “steal her limelight”.

There is no way I would agree to being separated from my new baby. It won’t be good for you or the baby and I’m afraid that is more important than her wedding day (GASP!)

This is awful of your sister to do this. You na be breastfeeding / cluster feeding and unable to express. What if your baby may needs feeding every couple of hours? Travel 20 mins, spend 30 doing the feed, drive back, then turn around and do it all again? What if you have a CS and can’t drive? It’s very unkind and a bit pathetic to be honest. She needs to grow up. I would tell her now you’ll not attend and why and she can either give her head a wobble and let you bring baby in arms or not have you there at all x

If you were my sister I’d be so overjoyed for you that I couldn’t possibly imagine saying something as hurtful as that. Has she always been this devoid of emotion?

I wouldn’t have any plans near your birth date and then it can be all about YOU and baby and sod her.

You nailed it @CapybarasAreJustGuineaBigs
Your sister sounds horrible @Elliee0810

How incredibly selfish of your sister. Put you and your baby first and decline the whole thing.

Until recently I lived abroad, in a country where maternity leave is 8 weeks. I myself was "lucky" and had 20 weeks maternity leave. I am perfectly aware how hard mothers find it to leave a tiny baby at home to go to work.

Work is not a choice. A wedding is a choice. And 4 weeks is incredibly tiny. It will absolutely feel like "abandoning" the baby.

Your sister is an arse. She’s jealous of a baby.

I think you may have a one sided close relationship with DSis - after 4 miscarriages I find it hard to understand why having your tiny newborn tucked away upstairs would be an issue. You have differing priorities, hers is to have her day in the limelight, yours is to parent your tiny baby. In your shoes I would bow out of the wedding now.

4/6 weeks old, you won't be going anywhere without your baby. Let alone how you will be feeling, both physically and emotionally.

I am afraid you need to withdraw. She'll realise what an idiot she's been in she has her own babies in the future.

What an awful Bridezilla 🦖👰. Doesn't want the newborn taking the limelight? I'm so sorry this is your sister.

Your sister is being very unkind to you I don't understand people sometimes

Assuming this is not a wind up post, there is no way in hell you will be able to leave that baby for more than about 2 hours at the very longest interval. Tell her now it's an absolute non negotiable and that you resign.

So incredibly selfish of your sister. What do your parents think?

It’s such a physiological bond with your baby Even if you’re physically recovered by that point I honestly don’t think you’ll be able to be away from them for so long, both you and the baby will be a mess. There’s a reason they call it the 4th trimester.

your sister sounds like a huge bridezilla, I’d politely decline MOH role now and just look forward to meeting your baby without this stress.

also congratulations 🥰

100% agree. I don't think people who haven't had a newborn really understand how totally unworkable this would be. I also think that a grown woman who thinks she'd be upstaged by a BABY on her wedding day needs a sense check.

I could never imagine requesting this from anyone.

You’re well within your right to tell her to go fuck herself and you won’t attend the wedding at all.

I'd decline; based on her shitty attitude alone.

I don’t understand what’s wrong with your MIL upstairs. I assume your sister worries you’ll leave often to see baby but then if she’s far away you might have to make a trip to see baby and it’d be much longer away.

It’s bizarre to be jealous of a baby on your own wedding day.

FWIW I was invited to a wedding for when my DD was 6 wks old. The bride had organised upstairs rooms and childcare for our use. I pulled out when DD was c2 wks - in a fog, no sleep, DD attached to boobs. It was only once she had her own baby that she said she understood why I didn’t attend

Is she normally such an utter bitch?

I had a disturbingly easy C-section, birth and recovery. Physically and emotionally I would have been fine to attend as maid of honour. Could have done it after a week with no issue. And with my first hours bottle feeding, so no issues technically with me not being there. And I was pretty chilled, in that my husband took baby out to see friends while I chilled at home within a few days, no anxiety about separation.

I say not not because I think you should go along with this plan. It's 🦇 💩. I say it because even in my situation hell would freeze over before I would agree to that. Being apart from baby for a few hours is different from a whole day, and baby being prohibited from being on the premises because of the jealousy of your sister is frankly disgusting of her.

Your mother-in-law being upstairs with baby was a perfectly good compromise, though your sister realising it's not all about her and maybe embracing the new life within the family would be even better.

With my second I breastfed, and although my husband had very extended paternity leave, I always had to be near my bottle refusing baby, because you can't predict when they'll get hungry in the early days. So I was the weirdo sat in a car working on my laptop, whilst my husband is doing baby massage class with my 6-week-old.

Your sister's actions are incredibly hurtful. Perhaps they come from a place of not understanding, but she could apply some thought. We had a brand new breastfeeding mum at our wedding (long before we had kids), baby was welcome throughout (as were about a zillion other kids), but mum also had access to the bridal suite for a quiet place to breastfeed and rest if she needed it.

No, you can’t be apart from baby for a day, or even a few hours really at that age. Baby will be newborn and want its mum. You will be pp and recovering, hormone will be all over the place and you don’t know what birth you will have had. Baby and or yourself may still be having checks. If you choose to breastfeed you and baby will still both be learning.