MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

TBH you might not even feel up to being a MOH 4-6 weeks after giving birth. You could still be bleeding, have sore breasts, suffering from a severe lack of sleep, and you may even need a Caesarian..

Your sister is being ridiculous. I think you should step down now from being MoH because you are not going to be able to be at her beck and call every second of her wedding day. You have no idea how your baby will be at 4-6 weeks old and she is rejecting your sensible suggestion that would allow you to be with her and focus on her as much as possible. The bride is the centre of attention, if she's worried about competition she should be planning to hold your baby all day!

Blimey 9 whole pages of ranting and not a peep from the op

You will NOT want to be parted from your newborn for more than 1-2 hours and even that may be painful, regardless of breastfeeding or not. Your sister is ridiculous.

I would decline now. Baby will be 4-6 weeks old at the time of the wedding. When my children were 6 weeks old I barely knew what day or the week it was.

The first time you leave your newborn your hormones will go wild. You will still be having broken sleep at 4-6 weeks. I ended up with forceps and I was still in pain after 6 weeks and wouldn’t have managed a whole day at a wedding (assuming you get ready with the bride you could easily be on the go from 7am to midnight) I’ve haven’t had a C-section but I imagine you would struggle with a long day on the go. If you are bf then you will be feeding every 3/4 hours if you are lucky. If you ‘miss’ a feed your boobs will become engorged and rock hard. You will be very uncomfortable after a few hours.

Your sister is being a fucking twat and I’d tell her that.

I’m all for child free weddings but if she wants you there then at a minimum your baby needs to be upstairs in a hotel room so you can get to them quickly. But surely it would actually be less disruptive for you to have the baby with you so you can easily feed if needed etc.

I’d remind her that refusing to have your baby there likely means you being forced to miss her wedding.

OP i’m actually shocked reading your post. This is absurd behaviour from your sister. I would be saying I won’t be able to attend the wedding in that case. Jesus Christ, some people really do need a reality check

I'd tell her either baby comes and stays in room the entire time or she finds a new MOH. What is wrong with her?

I'd frame it so that you might ruin her wedding/the photos

"I'm afraid that I'm not going to be back in shape for the dress by then. And of course there's every chance that my boobs will leak onto it."

She'll be begging you to resign.

I wouldn’t go at all. A 4-6 week old baby that you’re planning on breastfeeding is not easy to leave.

She’s being an absolute dick about not allowing the baby in a hotel room upstairs. She’d resent the baby if he was on the premises?? Is she out of her mind?

I had a wedding in an extremely unusual and exclusive place (think only a couple of weddings allowed their a year and outing so can’t say) and wanted a child free wedding but even I said my cousin could have her ten week old with her. What a complete bitch!

I highly doubt this is true but if it is just step down from being MOH.
Its either that or the the baby comes.

Just say no now because when the time comes there's no way you will do this and it will be worse last minute. Also your sister is a bit of a bitch.

This is what I was trying to say but wasn’t so bold!

Just say you can’t commit to the wedding right now so it’s best you and DH drop out the wedding party. Then if you feel upto it attend for a small amount of time but equally if you don’t feel ready to leave your baby / if you had a c section etc you can drop out

Tell your sister now that you won't be attending the wedding. You have no idea what the situation will be regarding breastfeeding or bottle feeding - the baby may only breast feed, they may not bottle feed, you have no idea. There's no reason for your sister not to understand this fact. Either she is so against having a baby at the wedding because of personal reasons like she's lost a child recently, in which case it's reasonable she doesn't want the baby around, but she will understand that it means you can't be. Or she just doesn't care about anyone but her, in which case she's a selfish person and she can be upset that you aren't at her wedding, but it's her fault you aren't so who cares!

Yep. I mean is she fucking mad.

Fuck that! What a narcissist. I wouldn’t have even offered your solution of you MIL being onsite nearby with your baby as I wouldn’t be able to do even that.
This is your sisters neice/nephew, you have fought hard for this baby and those first few weeks are precious and bloody hard (in the best way!)
If anything she should be bending over backwards to make this easier for you as you will still be physically fragile, maybe breastfeeding, sleep deprived, emotional, and all whilst taking care of a newborn baby! Any good friend let alone a sister would take all pressure off you and be grateful for you even trying to attend that soon after birth.
I am so easy-going but I honestly could and would not forgive her behaviour/attitude; I would not be attending unless baby can be with me all day in my arms and I would make sure everyone knew the reason I wasn’t attending is due to sisters bridezilla demands! I’m gobsmacked!!

I wouldn't go a newborn is not okay without its mum for 1 to 2 days and a mum is not okay without there baby for 1 to 2 days. I think you may find yourself unable to leave your baby. Your Sister is being ridiculous, spoilt and entitled.

Your sister is being a complete idiot. Tell her you have no choice but to step down from being MOH then. What a silly cow.

HIGHLY unlikely you'll want to be parted from your baby at that age OP. Especially if you're breastfeeding. You'll still be bleeding possibly and feeling yucky.

I think I would pull out and send husband. Tell the bride you've decided she's right, the day is all about her but unfortunately you can't agree to those terms as nobody knows what the birth is going to be like. You could have a section or your baby may need to be in hospital for a bit. There are too many maybes.

Better to tell her now so she can find a stand in.

No, don't go along with this. Just resign as MOH and don't even go to the wedding (don't make a big thing of it, just don't go).

Your baby will literally be fine but it’s not the point, I wouldn’t be going. I’ve got 3 sisters & none would have an attitude like that! Especially after your losses, don’t allow her to put any blame on you for pulling out either. She has done this by being so unreasonable!

She isn’t willing to make reasonable adjustments. She can’t expect you to leave a breastfeeding newborn baby in another hotel.

I was bridesmaid when my DD was two weeks old. She was a very welcome guest at the wedding. Yes a lot did take photos of her. But they also took as many photos of the flower girls. She’s being a ridiculous bridezilla.

Yeah I wouldn’t be going at all, certainly not with a 4/6 week old baby that wasn’t adored on the premises. I’d absolutely 100% withdraw right now and let her make other arrangements for both of you. Nobody would be treating my newborn like that. Not ever.