MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

I'm another that wouldn't go. You won't want to be apart from your baby at that age, trust me.

Your sister is being bat shit, the fact you’re even considering going in a MOH role when you might be 4-6 weeks post partum is also a bit loopy. There’s so much responsibility compared to being a standard guest. You will be exhausted, possibly still bleeding, engorged boobs from milk, with a mewling baby that doesn’t understand a clock or in anyway on a predictable schedule. But the beauty of tiny ones is they travel well, sleep a lot and everyone wants a cuddle. Also be aware that babe won’t have had any vaccinations yet.

your sister might not understand if she has no children but get your mum to have a word with her. Step down from MOH duties and say if babe can’t come with, then you can’t come either or you will pop in for the ceremony and a picture while hubby is outside with baby.

All 3 of you need to stay home. It's bad enough that she thinks it's okay to treat a newborn this way, but after all the sadness from your pregnancy struggle, I think her behavior is vile.

Be honest about her irrationality to friends and family and I think they'll be understanding.

Imagine being so insecure you’re worried a literal baby (your own niece or nephew!!) will overshadow you at your wedding 😂I had 2 newborns at mine because their mum’s were inoorrant to me and I couldn’t have got married without them there - the babies were a dream and gave people something to talk about/coo over during the day! We didn’t have loads of children at our wedding but I wouldn’t dream of trying to separate a mum from a newborn, they just sleep all day at that age anyway!

This is the first of many times in your life that you’re going to have to prioritise your child. Quite frankly your sister is being cruel to both you & your new baby to seperate you both for such an extended period. Your solution of baby staying upstairs was perfect. Your sister is completely self centred. I’m all for her wedding, her rules, but this is awful. Does she actually like you? It seems not.

Wow! Is your sister always so self centred?! “I want this all to be about me and the baby not steal the lime light” gross!!! It’s her 6 week old baby nephew!

tell her that’s fine, it can be all about her but you won’t be there. I really don’t get people who are so self obsessed about their wedding day. Just seems really weird and needy.

How does a baby hidden away in a hotel room steal your sisters limelight? She's batshit and vile. What is wrong with these women that lose sight of common decency over a fucking wedding. She's put you in an awful position. Horrible person.

I voted you are being unreasonable to even consider leaving a tiny baby for 1-2 days.

your sister is a nasty person and you shouldn’t think twice about bowing out of the wedding altogether.

I wouldn't go

Your much longed-for baby will be too young to be away from you, and your sister is a bitch. Easy decision!

Yep, I was thinking the same. She's too narcissistic and selfish and will be 100% focused on 'her' wedding and not the marriage.
And unhinged.
Divorced in 6 months.

To be honest OP why are you even here?
Your sister or your child, that's a no-brainer of a choice. I'd cut her out of my life instantly.

Why did you even ask for permission for him to be upstairs. That is not up to her.

stand down from moh duties, don’t apologise as she’s the one who should be sorry. I’d probably not attend the wedding full stop, as pp have said, she doesn’t get to control who stays in the hotel!

One of our friends had a 6mo at the wedding of one of our squad where we were all in the bridal party, I think at one point all of us including the bride were in the side room that had been earmarked for her to feed baby with a bottle of champagne chatting so she wasn’t alone and we took it in turns to look after baby so she could still enjoy the day/evening. And it was a child free wedding. There’s understanding and there’s being a fucking dick. Your sister is a dick.

Being separated from your young infant will really mess with your mental health too.

Wow. Your sister is being completely unreasonable! Absolutely, completely unreasonable. You can't leave your newborn if you're breastfeeding, and the only reasonable way for your sister to handle this, if she cares about you or your child at all, is to welcome you and your newborn, at the very least in a room upstairs. How on earth would it be better for you to have to leave the actual premises to go breastfeed?

She has essentially blocked you from going. Presumably she doesn't have children as nobody who has would think this is ok.

She is a self centred cow, I'm sorry!!

You're going to have to tell her you can't go.

I think you should book for your mother in law to look after the baby upstairs - because your sister will have to give in on this one.
Her only other alternative is for you to miss the wedding which will mean everybody will know that she is a thoughtless, unkind, insecure woman who is jealous of people showing love and affection towards a new born baby rather than devoting 100 per cent of their attention to her.
You can reassure her that you will keep the baby out of the wedding guests’ way - so as to hopefully soothe her anxiety - but you cannot give in on this one.

That's a really stupid thing for your sister to say NGL. At my cousin's wedding we had 3 newborns in the family (all born within three weeks of each other) and his bride was so happy that we had travelled with the babies to come for the wedding! And guess what? The bride was still the star of the wedding.

What a cow your sister is. I’d decline.

Your sister 100% would not do this when she has a child , give her an ultimatum . Spoil her wedding so be it .

I can’t quite believe what I’m reading. It is beyond ridiculous to say he can’t be in the building! How cruel and selfish of her. I’m surprised you’re close tbh. She sounds dreadful!

Realistically, with the baby being 6 weeks you’re either going to miss half the wedding or be in tears (and ruin your make up ) at having to madly keep rushing back and forth from your tiny baby. Feeding the a 6 week old can take 45mins including winding and settling. And it’ll be every 3 hours at the least. How’s that going to work around speech and cake and photo and MOH duties? You could maybe make this work if you had MIL upstairs and it was a normal wedding, but realistically you’re not going to be able to be in the wedding as well as mother your tiny baby, and you’re likely to get very upset trying.

So scared a baby will steal her thunder that she wont even let them be upstairs? Tell her to find another MOH.

She said that she would resent you and the baby?! She mustn't feel as close to you as you feel to her, she sounds really horrible.

Very few mothers find themselves able to leave a 4-6 week old. You will have a horrible day and every time you’re having a slightly hard time with your little one, you will be worrying about the impact this day had.

Your job postpartum is to recover and take care of your baby. You are their food, comfort, all they will know in the world! My baby is 13 weeks now and I haven’t been away from her longer than to pee. My husband has to hold her on the other side of the glass while I shower. She is terrified to be without me because I am all she has known. I could not leave her twenty+ minutes away.

Also, your sister is being a massive b. Fair enough no baby at the ceremony, but no baby in the hotel full stop? Outrageously selfish and controlling behaviour. Have your parents weighed in?

What were you planning to do about feeding? If you were planning to exclusively breastfeed, do not let your sister’s insecurities change that plan.

edit: sorry, I’m one of the idiots that voted yabu because I thought it was unreasonable to even consider this.