MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

She sounds awful.
Don’t go

Tell your sister she is being unreasonable. If she can’t accommodate you and your baby then you won’t be MOH and your DH won’t be a groomsman. This is taking the Bridezilla role to extremes. I know a baby can cause havoc at a wedding but you aren’t asking for him to attend, you are asking for him to be close enough so that you can be the mother he needs at such a young age. Put it back into her court. She either has the baby in the hotel or she loses her MOH. I think she’ll come round.

Not allowed in the hotel - then it’ll have to be a camper van in the car park, right by the front door!

More seriously the baby’s likely needs and you being 20 mins away really aren’t compatible.

So unless you can stay in the hotel, which seems a sensible solution, then you can’t attend.

It may cause a rift - but so be it.

So jealous and juvenile of you sister to do this. She sounds deranged. Is she the golden child by any chance?

Totally agree with everyone saying decline now and avoid the drama. You don’t need this stress - enjoy the rest of your pregnancy 🪷

Once you have your baby, you won't want to be forced to be away like that for 2 days. You'll be miserable. If you're breastfeeding it simply won't be possible. She's being a self-important BITCH

Just tell her now you can’t attend. Don’t be guilted into it.
Your plan of MIL upstairs in hotel entirely away from wedding and you popping up as needed was entirely sensible.
Breastfeeding or not you won’t want to leave a 4/6 week baby for hours.

I’d pull out now. You just don’t know how things are going to go with the birth and if you’ll be kept in hospital a little while or something, and it would be better to pull out now than at shorter notice.

Personally I wouldn’t have been happy to leave a 4 week old bf baby for more than about 30 mins. (I’ve had 3). Breastfeeding at that age is really hard to predict! They could go 3 hours or 20 mins lol. And the time you might want them to feed they might be fast asleep! I think I wouldn’t be happy being your MIL either and being left with a bf baby that was that little. If the baby wants feeding, the baby wants feeding!

I really hope your sister can get past this. Because it sounds a bit crackers tbh.

This is great advice.

Also agree the babies are what weddings should be about - fertility/joy/ family/celebration

what fucked up world do we live in now where an adult can't bear a baby or child being at their marriage for these reasons.

My sister got married recently and said that anyone with childcare issues could bring their kids - one single mum was there with a small baby and everyone loved it!! the baby was passed around at the dinner table so mum could eat and it all just increased the joy.

Shocked you think it would be ok to be away from your newborn not for just a few hours but a day or two

it was MONTHS not weeks before I could be away from my baby for more than an hour or so. That's normal.

Your sister is being a monster!

You have to just state relaly clearly - I can't leave my newborn for that long I'm so sorry and so upset but if that is the rule I actually can't come.

My LO is now 18 months old. I had a straight forward birth and no way was I ready to be separated at 4/6 weeks. Also my sister would 100% want her neice at her wedding. I’m sorry you have been put in this situation x

When I got married, my cousin (who is like a sister) had a 3 day old baby. It made the day so special that they could both be there and I have such beautiful photos of me holding her. There was not a tiny percentage me that would ever have thought to place restrictions like your sister. I have since had 2 of my own; there is absolutely no way I would have been away from them at 6 weeks and especially not for somebody as selfish as your sister.

Hopefully one day, if and when she has her own, she will reflect and apologise for being so utterly daft. As pps have said, bow out of the wedding now. You are being completely reasonable to not bend to her will

I wouldn’t plan to attend. Breastfed young baby is a privilege far greater than being MOH. If you at all want to BF, then your sister is effectively ruling you out of her wedding. You could possibly attend for a hour or two, several times in the day. But I wouldn’t be away from my bay longer and it’s ridiculous the bay can’t be hidden in a hotel room.

Gosh I can't believe how selfish your sister is! Really spoilt and entitled behaviour from her. No way would I go.

This^

your sister is very unreasonable, selfish and mean but for your mental health sake do as @CapybarasAreJustGuineaBigs advices, wish your sister well, send her a big card and present and then concentrate on yourself.

You can’t go to the wedding. You will need to let your sister know and instead focus on you and your baby.

Absolutely not IMO. I do have a friend who bottle fed and had a very chilled baby, she left him with her husband overnight to go to her friend's wedding (Edit: at 8 weeks old). I think it completely depends what baby you get. My breast-fed little clinger was cluster feeding all night at 4-6 weeks pp and has still never been away from me more than 1.5 hours (almost 11mo now).

Caveat to the above I think it's plain unreasonable and inconsiderate of your sister not to even allow baby to be in a room upstairs!

She is being fucking bonkers to say baby can’t stay in the hotel. Fine if not at the ceremony due to fussing and crying but not even upstairs?!

ridiculous

I would think it is slightly batshit crazy to not have the baby at the event. I could have compromised and had the baby upstairs out of view so it keeps her day "special"- whatever that means. However, objecting to having the baby on the premises is a step too far. I am afraid it would be a no from me. Babies are all different, but at six weeks most would not be good with a day's separation from mum.

What a cow.

Your sister needs help. Most weddings welcomes babes in arms and they don’t steal the limelight of the bride/couple. Why does she feel that people should come together to celebrate her romantic relationship when she won’t even tolerate the existence of your baby and that special relationship. The baby will need you at that young age and you will need to be near the baby. I can’t believe she could be so callous. It’s beyond belief.

I can’t even believe her stance tbh. Beyond bridezilla. WTH has it got to do with her if your newborn child is in the hotel but not in sight? It’s that or you don’t even attend. No parent wants to leave their newborn in this situation, and neither should they have to. Your sister is essentially forcing you to not attend. Mental

Nope nope nope nope nope.

This says an awful lot about your sister, none of it good.

F that for a game of soldiers. Just decline and wish her the best. She can find a replacement MOH.

Enjoy those early days with your newborn. Congratulations 🎊