MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

There is no way your sister's wedding is more important than your newborn.
If she's going to be a primadonna about you even having access to each other on her big day then she doesn't deserve either of you.
Your choice whether to drop out now, or disobey about where the baby is and drop out on the day when she's a dick about it.

Remember to be a dick if/when she has her first if she doesn't back right down. Not even joking.

Your sister is being unreasonable. Tell her you definitley can’t be maid of honour and you won’t know until you meet baby and know what health state she’s in if you’ll be able to be separated at all - for the first couple of months at the very least you and baby come as a package that she can take or leave, so if she totally says no to baby then it’s a no to you too sadly. What a terrible way to treat a niece or nephew.

She's being fucking ridiculous and I say that as someone who's never been pregnant, never mind post partum. And I'm all for child free events. You've offered a perfectly good solution, but madam is still throwing a tantrum. Withdraw now and don't apologise. This is all on her.

You'll feel awful being apart from your baby for a whole day - I wouldn't have been able to do it. And if you are breastfeeding it will be nigh on impossible. Just tell her now you won't be able to be her MOH. She has a horrible, selfish attitude by the way, bride or no bride. Massive red flag.

Your Sister sounds incredibly selfish.
Your Mil upstairs in the hotel is the perfect plan.

Stand your ground. She is being very unreasonable.

This baby is her niece or nephew too!! What a horrible selfish self centred person the sitter is 😳

I think it depends how youre planning on feeding. If you're not breastfeeding it sint be physically possible, you'll be leaking everywhere, it will mess with your supply etc. If you're planning on bottle feeding it might work but think your husband would have to step down from the wedding to look after the baby.

She's being hugely unreasonable, I'm guessing she doesn't have kids? I really don't think youd be ready to be apart from your baby when they're so young, the need to be close is for mother and baby (my best friend has an almost 1 year old and still struggles to be apart from her for even a couple of hours!). If I was you I'd pull out, you have to put your child's needs first and that will sometimes involve upsetting people! She's being bridezilla and hopefully she'll see that after the wedding has passed.

I cannot wait for the thread when your sister has her first baby, the messiah himself.

Stand your ground and don’t let her force you into ANYTHING you are uncomfortable with.

No way on earth would I be separated from my baby at this age. No way.

Child free weddings are fairly common though and plenty of parents are willing to leave their children - obviously if fortunate to be able to get sitters.

BUT there’s almost always an exception for babes in arms. For good reason.

Her suggestion will not work:

• if you are BF, you can't be away from the baby that long. BF is not going to be fully established and you will ruin your progress by not feeding (pump is not as strong as baby), so you will possibly dry out and or get mastitis. Both horrible for you.
• and being away from a little lovely baby will be terrible at that age.

Totally agree. What a hideously selfish sibling.

I would have to decline, your sister is awful and don’t think I’d be able to get past this

It’s a tiny newborn. Don’t leave it for a wedding, even your sisters. If you’re close she’d u estate. When she has her own children hopefully she’ll feel like a dick an apologise,

I'm betting it’s not. I had to decline going to a cousin’s wedding some years back (we are all close). It was an overseas wedding (her home country - a long haul flight). Invite said no children. All my family were going but my DC was 5. No one for me to leave him with, not that I’d leave him to go overseas for a few days/the weekend.

I got some stick for it, but I pointed out it was her/her DH’s wishes for a child free wedding, and I wasn’t about to leave my DC with god knows who, spend thousands on a ticket and be without DC for x number of days. Cousin changed her tune and apologised to me once she had her own DC.

@Elliee0810 your sister is a first class bitch.

There is absolutely no way that a 4-6 week old breastfed baby can be away from it's num for kore than a couple of hours nevwr mind a couple of days.

Your suggestion of your mil staying in the hotel ia beyond rasonable.

At this point I would be withdrawing from the wedding. The pain and leakage alone from not feeding or being able to pump will cripple you never mind bung away from such a new baby.

I was 7 weeks and 9weeks post partum when my best friend and then my sister got married. I withdew as a bridesmaid because I couldn't give either the focus they deswrved/wantes as I knew the baby would need me 110% but there was new any mention that I would leave my newborn for either wedding

Your sister seems very self-centered. Let her know you can't be MOH unless she changes her stance.

Your priority is your little baby.

All the best to you.

Some aunt she will make. My sister’s first born was easily the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I can’t imagine telling my sister that her new born was not welcome.

Just tell her now it’s not feasible.

Currently 3 weeks post partum, there is no way I’d leave my LO for 1-2 days. My hormones and parental anxiety just wouldn’t allow it. It hits you much harder and faster than you realise.

Ps. Your sister is a twat of the highest order. This baby is her niece or nephew. I’d honestly go no contact with my sibling if they ever said my newborn after so much loss and heartache was banned from the premises when you have offered such a practical and considered solution that still leaves the day all about her.

Bollocks to that.

Go to the wedding with your baby and dress the baby in the whitest, longest, most frilliest christening gown you can find (one that resembles a teeny tiny wedding dress) then parade that glorious baby around in front of everyone and their dog.

Bonus points if you can photo bomb with the baby in the wedding photos.

I'd send my apologies, unfortunately you can't leave a newborn for 2 days with someone else, so you won't be attending. Your sister is completely batshit.

Blimey, new low reached in bridezilla competition! Is she normally such a selfish cow? She can’t be serious. If she is, I wouldn’t go. Nor would my husband. I’d give no fucks if it caused err, arguments either. Good grief.

Your sister is disgusting

To massively give her the benefit of the doubt, she may not have fully thought through what she is asking of you. Tell her to read about the fourth trimester and how important it is for mum and baby to be together during this time of adjustment. If she is still insistent that you can’t have baby at the venue, you will have to step down as MOH. There is no way you will be able to or will want to be away from your baby for that long.

Wtf?! Does she expect you to leave your baby to starve if you’re breastfeeding? Fine she doesn’t want a baby crying during the ceremony, but to say it can’t even be upstairs so you can feed it?

There isn’t much that shocks me on here but this wins.