MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

Everyone is different - I left my twin prem babies (1 month early) in the hospital with my m’n’law and sister for several hours when they were 5 days old. I’d been in hospital for 2-3months on bed rest and desperately wanted to see the outside world and choose their nursery etc. they were prem. my milk has not come in so they were bottle fed anyway.
But this scenario is different because you are being forced to leave your child - I could have come back at any point if the twins were getting upset etc.
sorry but the bride is acting terribly - it’s very normal do so the scenario you suggested of baby being babysat at same hotel.
I would be so offended I think if it was me both me and hubby would pull out

Wow your sister is a piece of work!

I went as a guest to my friends wedding when my baby was 6 weeks old (I was breast feeding) no way I was leaving her with anyone and I’m fact the bride was so wonderful she offered to let me use her bridal sweet to go and breast feed in if I wanted to do it in a quiet space. I booked a room to use as I didn’t want intrude and I we drove home as I wasn’t drinking anyway. The point is, this was just a friend being so understanding and she just really wanted us there, your sister is being completely unreasonable and acting very mean.
I would withdraw and I’d be telling her how awful she is and I’d show her this thread so she can have a reality check.

Yes, exactly this.

She doesn’t sound like a sister she sounds like a spoilt brat. That is absolutely awful and disgusting behaviour from her. I’ve got 4 sisters and not one of them would do that to me if I were in that situation

Add to all the no way comments above - you will be getting only an hour's sleep here and there on the nights either side of this precious wedding, so will be probably be living on your last nerve and struggling to even keep your eyes open during speeches.

You’ve been lovely offering to keep your baby hidden and disappear upstairs constantly. I’d say you have to leave the wedding party now

I would pull out now, what happens if you need a c-section or baby ends up in nicu etc? But quite frankly you will not want to be away from your baby when it’s that little and she shouldn’t be expecting this!

Katie, it was lovely of you to ask me to be MOH but as you know, this is a desperately wanted pregnancy and you won’t even let the baby be upstairs in the hotel. I cannot leave them all day at this age. I will spend what parts of the day I can at the hotel however you do need to choose a new MOH as I cannot be there all day

Congratulations. Agree with PPs. You won’t want to leave your baby for a moment at only six weeks old. Either baby gets a pass and comes with you, or you don’t go.

Will the baby be okay to be apart for 1-2 days? Will I be okay with this being 4-6 weeks PP?

No, a 4-6 week old newborn will definitely NOT be okay being away from mum for 1-2 days. It’s very troubling you don’t know this.

Yes, the baby can be separated for a day or two. There are circumstances where the parents can't be with the baby and nothing bad happens because of it. That being said, your sister is absolutely ridiculous. Baby not allowed in the hotel you're paying for? Fuck that. Day all about her? Will be an interesting marriage.

Do you have a family member that your sister will listen to? Like your mom or something just so she can hear from someone else how crazy she is.

Your sister is fucking mental. You can’t leave a weeks old newborn for 1-2 days. You won’t want to. When she has her own children she will be absolutely mortified she was such a dickhead. Stealing the limelight. Jesus wept.

My youngest is 7 soon, but she refused a bottle when she was a baby. She never had a dummy or bottle. Away from me and my boobs, she just cried. I remember when she was about 9 months, me and my ex went to a concert. My mum rang me (we left the house at half 4) at 9:30pm to tell me she couldn't get her to settle and I needed to come home asap. I had left plenty of pumped milk but she just refused it. My mum told me she was fine up until she got tired and then nothing was working to soothe her. I cannot imagine what would have happened if I'd left her at a younger age like that!

Both of you should step down and she just has to accept that. Your suggestion was more than reasonable. Good luck with the pregnancy and post partum 🩷

Pull out of the wedding and have a lovely quiet weekend nesting with your husband and new baby. Invite your lovely MIL round if you want extra company.
Congratulations on your pregnancy ❤️

She's being ridiculous and unkind- a baby "stealing the limelight" indeed.
I'm joining the chorus of telling her you won't be able to attend.

Your sister is completely out of order and unreasonable. Yes it is possible to leave the baby at that age, but I am not sure your sister being a heartless centred person is a great reason to.

Your sister is being very selfish, unhinged and horrid right now. I’ve had 2 babies and I would not leave them for 2 days at 4 weeks old. You’ll be breast feeding and the baby’s will need you. Personally my husband and I would step down from the wedding.

To be fair to your sister she has no clue about babies, clearly. I think you shouldn't be MOH - you might potentially be able to put in an appearance for a couple of hours with the support of your MIL upstairs but it's a big assumption that your baby will be settled enough or that you'll even feel able to enjoy a wedding. Newborns are pretty unpredictable and wake in the night quite a bit usually too. I'd let your sister know now, rather than let her down nearer the time. If she gives you grief, tell her one day if she has a child, she'll understand.

You are already upset by the mere thought of it (for good reason). Once the baby is with you there is no way you will want to leave them. Tell your sister now that she must find a new MOH. Aside from that I cannot believe how she has spoken to you about wanting the attention only on her and that your baby's presence would deflect that. Really ugly thinking on her part.

What an absolute Bridezilla. So worried your baby will ‘steal the limelight’ she bans it from anywhere near the wedding! Pull out now!

The thing is, it will probably only be when she has a baby of her own that she will realise what a massive arsehole she is being, so be prepared for that too.

Good luck with your rainbow baby OP, I also had 4 miscarriages before my second daughter who is now 9. It was a horrible time, but I would go through it again to have her ❤️

Your sister is being an absolute bitch. It’s not like there’s only a certain amount of “attention” to go round! And that young, the baby will likely be asleep for most of it, nothing much for the guests to see apart from a quick “ahh isn’t s/he cute”. What does your mum say? I would give your and DH apologies right now.
I will say, 4 weeks after I was still struggling to walk (had horrendous hip pain). I couldn’t have done MOH duties. And you could have a C-section. Would she accuse you of ruining her wedding if you couldn’t “perform” as she wants you to?

Oh please yes 🙏🏼

Your sister is being so unreasonable it is off the scale.

I'd tell Bridezilla now that it is not possible to be apart from such a small baby for so long so either baby comes to the wedding (with your MIL to look after him upstairs) or none of you will be going to the wedding.

Is your mum around? If so, what does she have to say?

This. It’s unfortunate but nothing else you can do.