MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

She’s so far over the unreasonable line that I really don’t know where to start!
Poor you, OP but very many congratulations on your pregnancy … and I hope Bridezilla calms down!

Are you truly too dim to understand OP's babies died in pregnancy before since she had multiple miscarriages? Do you not get a woman in her position, or in fact no pregnant woman, has a guarantee of successful pregnancy and a living baby at the end of it? No matter what her shitty sister thinks, this is a priority and no, OP could not have planned it. How small is your world, I despair you even thought for a moment it was appropriate to write what you did.

This is a bit ridiculous. I’ve agreed to be MOH for my friend in summer 2027. My little boy will be four at the time and isn’t invited so will be looked after by grandparents. I can’t decline on the basis my childcare might die - I might die 😂. OP said she suffered four miscarriages, so didn’t know for sure when she agreed that she would have a newborn.

Why would her MIL not be alive? She could be aged 40.

Re: 10 months, most people would have to save up for much longer and also most venues are booked up a year or two in advance. Suppliers also.

I completely get child free weddings and want one myself although personally would be happy with small babies under 1! But my own niece or nephew who would be a few weeks old would absolutely be invited what’s wrong with people. Even if she doesn’t want them there you’ve come up with a really generous solution on your end with the baby being upstairs. I’d be saying sorry I can’t come then. Your baby is your family now and comes above anyone else.

Do they? I don't know anyone who was engaged that long. About 10 months at the most

You do realise that most people plan their weddings a couple of years in advance!

I’m so pleased to hear this. Wait until everyone at the wedding asks where you are and she has to explain you are at home with the tiny baby who wasn’t invited!

I’m usually supportive of no child weddings but this is bonkers!
Potentially a month post partum you’ll be tired, leaking milk and probably not feeling like slipping into a bridesmaid’s dress!
At that stage I felt very pleased and accomplished of we went for a walk and to the supermarket.Definitely did not fancy travelling ( how far is it?) and hiding my baby somewhere.
Decline now and look forward to being with your lovely baby.

And the one sole poster who thinks the sister’s feelings are ‘valid’

Imagine having a sister like this.

Absolutely don’t go. Even if you’re not BF baby needs to be with you not MIL.

My sister would be HONOURED to have my newborn at her wedding. I’m so sorry your sister is so awful.

No they’re not. It is not “valid” to say you’d resent a newborn baby for being in the same building and saying shit like “it’s all about me”. That is vile, entitled and shockingly rude to her sister. MIL offered to babysit. No her husband shouldn’t go when his wife and child have been treated with such contempt. Are you serious?

Probably the sister and her husband to be.

your sister is being a total bitch.

Who's the 3% saying you are being unreasonable

Congratulations to you on your pregnancy.

You've gone through a lot this is amazing for you to finally get your chance to be parents.
Put yourself and your baby first and feel no shame for it.

Exclusive hire so you've all got the run of the place? This is exactly what this is for!!! Outrageous she expects you to leave a tiny baby for days. I've glad you've said no to all of it. So sorry your sister is behaving this way

Your sister's feelings and beliefs are valid, even if you may not agree with them .so are yours.

Not understanding why you would agree to being a maid of honor, when chances are you'd have a newly born then, and you wouldn't know how you and the baby were doing and feeling...you'd also wouldn't know if your mil would still be alive, and if she were, what condition she would be in, her plans, and how she felt..she may not want to watch him.

Your husband can and should attend if he wants and is looking forward to it.

I really don't understand child free weddings. Dd2 has been invited to her best friends' wedding also in May. She has 2dc including a newborn who will still be ebf at the time of the wedding. It's a few hours from her home. Best friends often babysit for dd2.

We had a 'no child' wedding (as our venue held 60 and inviting all the kids would have meant we needed 30 more places!) except for our young child and one of my bridesmaid's had their newborn baby with them because I could never in a million years separate a newborn child from their mother!

Your sister is being ridiculous! I would refuse to attend, let alone be maid of honour. I wouldn't have left my baby at that age. They are so new, this is your miracle baby.

If your sister has this awful an attitude, it might not be her last wedding ...so I'm sure you'll get another opportunity to be MOH.

Op it’s not a decision you’re making you really cant leave a baby that young. Your own mother should be able to tell your sister that. Your not being unreasonable it’s totally insane to expect this from you. Also, when my son was born there were complications and he was in a nicu for weeks. Your sister should be more concerned about you and you baby having a hustle free, safe delivery. Unbelievable.

A couple of my bridesmaids were breastfeeding infants at my wedding. Baby was bloomed after in a hotel room by husbands and grannies. Babies were brought down for breastfeeds or the bridesmaids popped in to feed babies when they needed to.
made absolutely no difference to me and I. Fact it was lovely to see small babies being fed by their mammies.
now that I’m a mum myself I absolutely would not be separated from my babies at 6weeks.
the bride in this case is a bona fide bridezilla.

Absolutely not op.
tell her now that it won’t be possible to leave your newborn baby.
she’s being ridiculous.

Wow that is breathtakingly selfish of your sister. I think it makes more sense to step down from MOH duties and maybe just attend the ceremony and skip the reception as it won't be possible to be apart from your baby for that long.

Given how immature she sounds, I'm wondering how long the marriage will last anyway.