MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

Leave out sorry and say a baby won’t t take away her day. Poor husband to be.

That is utterly appalling of your sister; God, what on earth is wrong with her?

Of course you need the baby to be in the hotel, and what she says makes no sense and is grossly selfish. This kind of thing can break a family; I don't know what to say, beyond to insist that baby goes where you go.

You also should not have to hide the baby, although being at a wedding when so young is not good due to noise. But you absolutely should have the baby with you in the hotel. She is cruel and ridiculous to suggest otherwise.

EDIT: I just read your update that you are not going anymore. Good for you!

Skip the wedding. End of.

Very sensible. Having a first baby is such a culture shock and the first few weeks can be quite overwhelming and all consuming and you don't need any additional stress.
I went to my sister's wedding, when my eldest was 4 weeks old. There was no question of him being excluded, and I just don't understand your sister's mentality of having concerns that your baby will steal her limelight. However, back then in the 80s and early 90s weddings were generally family affairs, and relatives and close family friends attending would bring their children.

This is so unreasonable and unfair and frankly cruel of your sister. It is unfeasible for you to not have your baby nearby you. If you are breastfeeding at this stage they could need you a lot you could be cluster feeding in the evenings you’re going to want to make sure you are establishing your supply as well. Even if you don’t breastfeed those first few weeks are such a vulnerable emotional time you won’t want to be separated from your baby for that long, trust me. I would withdraw now, or at the very most say you can make the ceremony only and your baby will be at the same hotel during it. Honestly I can’t understand how selfish some people can be, it’s astounding. Congratulations by the way.

I quite understand why you are not going to the wedding but hope your sister was understanding about the reason why. And it hasn't damaged the relationship.

One day she will realise that as a new mum you can't leave a newborn.

Sorry I missed a bit, glad you are not going.

Stand up to her it seems to me the spoilt bitch is very much used to getting her own way, I’m fuming and it’s not even my sister.

Your sister is a horrible spoilt brat and if I was you’d I’d tell her I won’t be able to come as I can’t leave a small baby all day as I need to feed him ect. I’ve never in my life heard of anyone so far up their own arse in my life, to not be happy her sister has managed to have a baby and to be jealous of the baby, she is a nasty person and I definitely wouldn’t go to her wedding.

I predict that your sister will hugely regret her actions later. What was she thinking?

I would book a low key but lovely treat to do as a family on the day of the wedding.

This is disgraceful! Shes worried about a baby (her niece/nephew) stealing the limelight!!! Seriously! This is ridiculous. I totally understand how you must feel. She sounds very self centered and self absorbed. Not how a sister should behave.

Also there is every chance you might actually be giving birth during the wedding anyway. It would be hilarious if your waters broke during their vows 😂

I really hope she rethinks her stance. I would hate to miss my sister's wedding and it's not even like she'd see your MIL and baby. This is really sad!

That’s so sad. Being a MOH is unrealistic 4-6 weeks after giving birth. But if your sister can’t give way to you being a guest with your babes in arms she is an awful human. 🥲 I had no nieces or nephews when I got married and had a child free wedding but a babes in arms of a sibling is a complete different situation. I am sure your parents are disappointed in her.

I get that you are close with your sister, and hopefully she is normally better than this and / or has other redeeming qualities. On this matter though, she is being outrageous! And actually pretty gross 😐 Doesn't want the baby to "steal the limelight"?! Wtf is she on about. Imagine she'd insisted on something else completely mad and impossible, like "you must wear snakes as shoes all day" and just decline, without any guilt or second guessing. So sad she can't be happy and celebrate with you / enjoy her own niece/ nephew.

Congratulations on your lovely baby btw, what an achievement after your journey x

Your sister sounds like a brat!
absolutely awful.

I wouldn’t go to her wedding at all. Emotionally you will struggle being away from your baby and your baby NEEDS YOU when it’s so young.
After your miscarriages and this being the first baby, please believe me when I say you won’t be leaving your baby for anyone.

You need to tell her now or if that’s tricky let her know the day before the wedding you’re not well.

I really wouldn’t leave the baby and your sister is being spiteful and controlling.

I'd tell her to take a running jump (I'm being way too polite there). And I say that as someone that prefers child free weddings.

Congratulations x

You’ve made the best decision. I’m sorry your sister has been a bridezilla and a nasty person

You've made the right decision OP.

I would have really struggled to leave mine for any length of time at that age it was actually painful emotionally plus stressful and one of the strongest feelings I've experienced.

I know some people can happily leave them but you just don't know until you've had them which category you'll fall into.

Your sister is being a twat because shes making it about the baby taking the spotlight instead of worrying out potential noise etc. However I also think you aren't taking into consideration how you will feel just a couple of weeks after giving birth. You do not need to be anyone's MOH when your body is recovering and you want to focus on your little one. Best to drop out now and get rid of the worry.

It's a shame it had to come to this but it's the right decision and I'm glad your DH is standing by you.

I'm surprised that she would rather you miss the wedding than make allowance for her own niece. Does she have such a low self esteem that she thinks a baby will upstage her at her wedding, and she doesn't want the baby at the same hotel?

I hope this doesn't affect your relationship going forward but I would be surprised if it didn't.

Do your parents have a view on this? Because if one of my children did this his or when sibling I wouldn't be happy.

How did your sister take the news that you wouldn’t be attending?

A most excellent decision OP. What a ridiculous request. Even a child free person (me) can see how out of order she is.

I was MOH 6 weeks post partum, I was still bleeding at that point, and my DD was cluster feeding on and off, thankfully my best friend was happy for me to be there with my newborn and my husband was on hand to whisk her out during the ceremony when she started crying, we did have bottles for breast milk but she wasn't great with bottles and preferred the boob, there is absolutely no way I would have been MOH if I couldn't have had her there or even just in the hotel where she was getting married, I would have offered my apologies and stepped down.

In your case I'd attend the ceremony and then leave.